Wednesday Thoughts

At the beginning of a vacation, I always make a little to-do list so I don't waste all my vacation relaxing and enjoying myself. (That would be a tragedy, right?)

Anyway, this vacation I decided to get all that horrid stuff done early so I could fully enjoy the rest of the break. The number one thing on my list? Sort tons of papers/junk mail/who-knows-what and file it or shred it. That is my least favorite thing to do and I was dreading it. So, I decided to combine it with the Lifetime "Dirty Little Secrets Saturday" marathon. While sorting, I watched "My Mother's Secret" but came in about an hour late and couldn't for the life of me figure out what the secret was. It was frustrating but I stuck it out till the end. Then I watched part of "My Daughter's Secret" which was very boring (the secret was that her boyfriend got her involved in a bank robbery - big whoop!!). I almost started watching "The Nanny's Secret" but decided I'd had my fill of Lifetime movies and secrets for the day.

But the good thing is, I got the horrible task done. A few other boring things had to be done (cleaning and the like) then I was able to fully give in to vacation!

Here are some of the things I've done so far:

1. Played many rounds of Yahtzee. Found out I was born to play Yahtzee. I got three Yahtzee's in one round. My secret is that I'm just really skilled.
2. I have taken naps at 7pm on two different days then stayed up really late reading because I couldn't sleep.

3. Read to my niece till she fell asleep on my lap.

4. Got killed at Monopoly by an 11 year old. I would have won if that game wasn't based on pure luck. Unlike Yahtzee.

5. Declared on a daily basis that I will start my diet again tomorrow.

6. Nearly forgot about my blog but checked it occasionally to see if anyone had posted a new post on it. I hadn't.

I hope your week has been as fruitful as mine! Happy Wednesday!

Merry Christmas

"For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace." - Isaiah 9: 6

I try to make it a point on Christmas to spend a little bit of time thinking about the real meaning of the day and not totally get caught up in the noise, so to speak. In that spirit, I thought I'd share this scripture with you. I hope you had a great Christmas!

Christmas Card 2009

Click on the above picture to see my Christmas card for 2009. After talking about making one in my last post, I decided to go for it. It's a bit ridiculous (ok, more than a bit) and I won't be mailing any out. This card is exclusively for you, my favorite blog readers. If you print it out, you can do the word search. It's probably the most entertaining part of the card, and I made it fairly easy too, just for you. The holidays can be stressful enough without worrying about finding the word "Magnum" on my Christmas card word search.

The opening letter is supposed to be tongue in cheek - so don't be worried when you read it. K? Not that I need to tell you that.

And yes, that is a watermark picture of me in the background. Classy, all around.

Have a wonderful Christmas and happy New Year, my friends! Thank you for your friendship and support! I wish you all the best this next year.

Wednesday Thoughts

I want to start today by thanking those of you who have sent me Christmas cards this year. I especially love the cards that come with letters containing highlights from the year. I've thought about doing something like that, but I think the tone of my letter would be wrong for the season. Especially because the first line in my Christmas letter rough draft is, "This year I successfully continued my descent into madness*."

I kid. But really, what would a Christmas letter from me contain? Maybe a couple dating stories, a list of my favorite tv shows from the year, something about the monotony of my day to day life, and maybe to conclude, a word search or something like that just so you don't get too bored. Oddly enough, as I think back on this year, pickle flavored popcorn stands out as a highlight. Maybe I'd add a scratch and sniff to the letter so you could get the full effect.

What do you think? I'll start planning for 2010's card.

In other news, have you heard about this adorable cat in Japan named Maru? Let me start out by saying I am completely indifferent to cats in general, but this website won me over. Something about the combination of poorly translated Japanese and a surprisingly entertaining cat are making this cat's blog something of an addiction for me currently. Here's a link. Trust me, you have to have a heart of stone not to think this cat is adorable. I should know.

One more day of work then I'm off till the new year! Happy Wednesday! And Merry Christmas!

* editors note: I wrote this post in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep. If it sounds a little loopy, that's why.

The future is confusing

Ann and I ordered Chinese food for lunch today. As you know, one of the best parts about Chinese food is the fortune that comes in the fortune cookie. But today the future became much more confusing for both of us. Ann especially. Which fortune do you think is worse?

Ann's fortune:

You are a man of integrity and righteousness.

My fortune:

When the moment comes, take the first one from the right.

Christmas quotes

Four more days! Enough time to hurry and watch all your favorite Christmas movies before the big day. These are the movies we quote all year, but only watch once a year. Here are some quotes from some of my favorites. Feel free to add yours if you'd like.

The nerve of those Whos. Inviting me down there - on such short notice! Even if I wanted to go my schedule wouldn't allow it. 4:00, wallow in self pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one; 5:30, jazzercize; 6:30, dinner with me - I can't cancel that again; 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing... I'm booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9, I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness. But what would I wear? - The Grinch

Clark: Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?
Eddie: Naw, I'm doing just fine, Clark.
- Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

It's just nice to meet another human that shares my affinity for elf culture. & one more from the same movie: Why don't you just say it? I'm the worst toy-maker in the world. I'm a Cotton-Headed Ninnymuggins! - Elf

This house is so full of people it makes me sick. When I grow up and get married, I'm living alone. - Home alone

Charlie Brown: Thanks for the Christmas card, Violet.
Violet: I didn't send you a Christmas card.
C. B. Don't you know sarcasm when you hear it?

This makes two quote based posts in a row - I promise the next will be back to normal. Although maybe it's nice to have a break from my voice? Don't answer that.

Baby-sitting

The last couple days I've been staying with a friend's kids while she and her husband are out of town. These kids crack me up and I've had some very funny conversations with them. I thought I'd share a small sample of the hilarity:

Between me and the 17 yr old son:
N: My parents won't let me move to the basement. (There are several doors in the basement where he could easily sneak out.)
Me: Well, if you had a 17 yr old son, I doubt you'd let him sleep in that basement.
N: I'd just take away his car keys.
Me: You don't think a friend could just pick him up? Or a girl couldn't sneak in?
N: If a girl did sneak in, I'm sure they'd just watch a movie or something.
Me: Uh huh.
N: What are you implying? What else would they do, Elizabeth?
Me: Shush.
N: No really, what would they do?
Me: Nate.*
N: You're a bad influence on me.

Between me and the 12 yr old son:
E: He (his brother) wanted to have a faux hawk and a chin strap but my dad hates faux hawks.
Me: Really? I like faux hawks.
E: Well, my dad's really old, you know. Like, he thinks video games are a total waste of time and stuff like that.

Between me and one of the 3 yr old twins:
Me: Are you feeling better today?
A: Yeah. I ate a chewy pillow and it made me feel better.
(I'm pretty sure she meant a chewy pill.)

Between me and the other 3 yr old twin:
Me: Turn around and finish your dinner.
L: I DON'T WANT TO FINISH MY... ooooh, I like your nail polish!

*Names have been changed to protect identity. As if you care who these people are, right?

Wednesday Thoughts

I wish it were socially acceptable for me to bring my Snuggie with me everywhere. Restaurants, work, friend's houses. It's so cold these days it's hard for me to get the chill out of my bones. I'll never have as much nerve as the people in the Snuggie commercials. Or the guy in this picture.

Remember the other day when I told you I can't remember any jokes? Kathy reminded me of one I do know, so for your S.A.D. pleasure, here it is: If you're American when you're not in the bathroom, what are you when you ARE in the bathroom? Answer: European. Get it? You're a pee'in?! {Sigh} If I have to explain it to you, it's not funny. My then-ten year old nephew told that joke at a family party this past summer and prefaced it by asking the little kids to leave the room, explaining that it wasn't appropriate for them. It might not be appropriate for you, either.

This week I decided to try succotash for the first time, and let me tell you, if there's a food that can't be taken seriously because of it's name, it's succotash. The few people I've mentioned it to have just laughed when I asked them if they've tried it.

I can't believe it's almost the end of 2009. A couple weeks ago, when writing the date, I found myself writing 199-. I don't know how after almost a decade I would revert back to the 90's when writing the date! I haven't done that in a long time (at least two years). I still don't know how that happened but it made me laugh.

In forgetful news, I keep forgetting what day it is this week and to make matters worse, I got a text from a friend this morning that said "have a nice Thursday!" I guess I'm not the only one who can't keep the days straight. Either that, or it's Thursday.

Happy Wednesday. Or Thursday, as the case may be.

S. A. D.

I think I might have a little bit of the S.A.D. already. It doesn't usually hit me until February at which point my skin has become translucent from three months of cloud cover and the sun makes me cower like a vampire.

But here I am, in what is technically still fall, with a slight case of S.A.D. Hopefully that means I'll have it out of my system early, right?

It hasn't been too bad, don't get me wrong. I haven't been stuck in bed crying nonstop or anything like that. But for some reason this year the cold and gray caught me off guard and I've found myself feeling a bit blah.

The funny thing is that the strangest things seem to cheer me up. Like when our office dog has accidents in people's cubicles, or a very strange conversation with co-workers about whether we'd rather be stabbed in the gut or shot in the gut (after much debate, research, and terms we unanimously chose being shot). The topic isn't what cheered me up, just to be clear, but rather, the fact that we spent so much time debating it.

Since the S.A.D. caught me off guard, I wasn't prepared to fight it at first. But now I am, and I've felt significantly better the last couple days by focusing on the positive and keeping busy. In the spirit of levity and cheering up, here's a link to a funny video. If only I could remember any jokes I would share those, but my mind is incapable of remembering jokes for some reason. If you have any, please share. Together we can fight the winter blues! (When did this turn into a PSA?)

Wednesday Thoughts

And now for my weekly collection of unrelated thoughts...

You know what phrase I can not say? "Bomb.com." I've heard younger people say it, and even though I don't necessarily want to say it, it sometimes pops into my head when I get excited about something. I tried to say it once, half jokingly, and the results were horrific. I apologized immediately to the people I was with. The more I think about it, the more mortified I am that those words escaped my lips. I just can't pull it off. I think I'll just stick with the phrases that work for someone of my generation, like "the bee's knees" and "23 skidoo."

Here's a funny little story about my Grandma. As you may remember, my grandma's one wish is that I, her oldest granddaughter, get married. The other day I was giving her a ride and she said to me, "I think there might be a computer glitch in heaven. Not enough angels are being sent to help you." It made me laugh, but then it made me wonder exactly how many angels are needed for such a task...

My local online newspaper has deleted more than half of my comments* and it's really starting to get to me. They have the strictest moderators I've ever seen. They claim my comments have been "off topic" and/or "don't help move the conversation along." I was also told that they were deleting my comments because I was just bantering with other commenters at times instead of commenting specifically on the story. I told them that their censorship is STIFLING me (yes, I used caps). But they removed that comment as well. Another time I said that censorship hurts and they removed that as well. That website is sucking my will to comment.

It snowed last night. If it wasn't so slushy, it would be pretty.

In case you're afraid of losing track of time until Christmas, here's a countdown that has sent me into a near panic.

Ok, panic time is over. It's Wednesday! Happy Wednesday. Drive safe, Michigan friends! It's supposed to be nasty tonight.

*Update: The newspaper just e-mailed me and said that they don't know where I got my "more than half" number from and that they have actually only deleted 24% of my comments. I stand corrected.

Unexpected dislike

One time my mom told me she hates Swedish furniture. Not only did this seem strange to me based on my mostly positive experiences with IKEA, but it also caught me off guard that she had an opinion about something so obscure. Her opinion had nothing to do with IKEA, by the way, never having been there herself.

It always cracks me up when someone expresses a strong opinion on something I've never had any emotion for one way or the other, like someone hating goldfish or paper clips. And that's why this story I'm about to share amuses me.

The following is part of a conversation I had at work today about going on a road trip in my new car. On this road trip, Kathy and I would sit in the back and watch DVDs and eat snacks while Justin drives us around. He isn't too keen on this idea, by the way. Anyway, that's the background. Here's where you came in:

Kathy: Justin, I demand that you sing us "the wheels on the bus."
Justin: No way. I hate that song.
Me: Who hates that song!?
Justin: I hate the rhythm to it.

The wheels on the bus. I'll never listen to it the same way. Do you have a strong dislike for something most people have no opinion on?

All the king's horses and all the king's men...

My car had had enough. Or rather, I had had enough of my car when I decided to trade it in today. Between the lack of heat and the four other problems it's having, it was time. The funny thing is how sad I was to see her go. Recently I've been back and forth between being mad at her and pitying her. She's old, she can't help that she's falling apart. The thing about cars is that they're with you for so much - vacations, relationships, new jobs, etc... It's funny to get attached to a car, but as I was pulling out of the dealership parking lot today where I traded her in, I circled around again to see her one more time.

Here she is:

My new (used) car (a Malibu):

On the plus side, it feels wonderful to ride in a heated car again.

Too far or just right?

When I was a kid, I loved playing with Barbie, Ken, Skipper, and the rest. But I didn't necessarily enjoy inventing dialogue for them or taking them on imaginary adventures. What I enjoyed was setting up their houses, making make shift furniture out of Kleenex boxes, scrap fabric, the little mini table that comes in the pizza box, and anything else I could find.

Combine that love (although admittedly I haven't indulged in it in at least twenty years) with my love of Snuggies, and this idea is scratching me where I itch: Snuggies for Barbie. What do you think? If any of you actually make this, you will instantly be ten points cooler in my book.

Wednesday Thoughts

At what point does a "guy" become a man? I was recently telling Katherine that I had a little crush on a man* and she started laughing. When I asked her what she was laughing about, she said, "you called him a man." So what makes a guy a man? Do they have to be over 40? Married? Kids? Mustache?

What flavor is horehound!? I love the Claeys old fashioned hard candies, but I was baffled by the flavor "horehound." And by baffled, I mean grossed out and scared.

So, I took my car in to the shop yesterday to get the aforementioned heat fixed and found out the worst. Turns out my original guesstimate of it costing a gazillion dollars was me being naive. It's actually going to cost a katrillion if I want heat again. It's the worst case scenario, heating wise. Needless to say, I have a lot of decisions to make about this car. On the plus side, I didn't cry in front of the mechanic. I waited till he was done talking, excused myself, and cried in the bathroom.

I feel better today.

It's Wednesday. Happy Wednesday.

*This crush has since waned, in case you were curious.

Weekend Update

How was your long weekend? Mine was fun, gluttonous, and not long enough. Here are some of the highlights:

• Went bowling. RULED. (Ok, that's not true, I'm an awful bowler.)
• Thought the Tiger Woods car accident was highly suspicious.
• Cut my finger so deeply I almost fainted. (I may or may not be a huge baby.)
• Saw Sam Roberts at the Fillmore with Christi and Angela and had way too much fun.
• Had my love of Detroit deepened.
• Made egg nog pie and it was a hit (thank you Amy, for the recipe)!
• Went to a baby shower for my cousin. My five year old niece thought the baby was going to be born at the party and was disappointed. I, on the other hand, was relieved.
• Braved the crowds on Black Friday and now own half the seasons of Friends.
• Thought about the things for which I am grateful.
  
• Spent time with both sides of my family and realized where I get the story telling gene from.
• Fell in love with the cutest puppy! (pictured)
• Watched "Up" again and didn't cry this time.
• Decided that with winter coming, it might be worth it to pay a gazillion dollars to have the heat in my car fixed.
  

It was a good weekend, overall. How about you?

Wednesday Thoughts

Last night while looking through my e-mail, I saw a piece of spam with this subject line: Did you have a gallbladder injury while using birth control? It just seemed so specific, it caught me off guard. I don't know if it was real or not (ie not a virus), but I was afraid to open it and find out. I wish I could write those spam subject lines because I have some good ideas, such as:

Did you trip on a crack while eating a hotdog?
Did you feel a tickle in your spleen while eating a lemon flavored popcicle?
Did you contract chicken pox on a bright, summer day? (I did, so I would click on that one.)

Then when you open the e-mail, a jack in the box pops open (and a virus takes over your computer). What do you think? Would you open those? I think I'd make a pretty good spammer.

I took today off of work to expand my Thanksgiving vacation and I had all these grand plans to get a ton of things done today! So far I've just laid in bed. I'm not complaining.

Have a great Thanksgiving everyone!

And of course, happy Wednesday.

Mope-vember

I'm not feeling very funny lately and therefore haven't been very inspired to write in my blog as often as usual. I blame my non funny-ness on what I've dubbed "Mope-vember." Those of you in the northern wet states know what I mean - the short, dark, rainy, gray days are upon us. I've been trying to find comfort in the wise words of Axl Rose, who said, "nothin' lasts forever; Even cold November rain." (Side note, if you haven't seen that video in a long time, I would highly recommend clicking on that link - it's even more ludicrous and over dramatic than I remembered.)

To cheer myself up the other night, I saw New Moon with some friends. People assume that if you see New Moon on opening night you must be a total fanatic but that's not always the case. I only screamed once and I blame it on mob mentality. The movie was good. I know I'm supposed to be embarrassed that I saw it and liked it, but there's no point lying to you guys.

Here's something else that cheered me up over the weekend: pickle flavored popcorn! I was in Frankenmuth with some friends on Saturday and we came upon an amazing popcorn store. My friend Martha, knowing I love pickles, called me into the store to tell me about the pickle popcorn. It was so much better than I imagined. I bought two bags and brought one of the bags to a potluck Sunday night. It was very amusing to watch peoples faces as they tasted it for the first time. The word "vomit" was used more than once, but only by the mentally insane (no offense, Erin).

Ok, this post is really starting to look like Wednesday Thoughts. There is clearly no theme besides being mopey, knowing too many Guns N' Roses songs, and my love of both Twilight and all things pickle flavored.

See you tomorrow. Happy Tuesday.

Cheer up, Murray

This week I needed a bit of cheering up from time to time. As I previously mentioned, I was sick which kind of got me down. But as if that wasn't hard enough, last night one of my shows was preempted for a medical infomercial (trust me, I wrote a strongly worded e-mail to the tv station about this one), and now this morning I'm too hot with my sweater on and too cold with it off.

Life's a bear, as my friend Emily would say.

(And yes, I do realize those complaints got progressively more stupid as they went.)

To get me through the week, I've been listening to this song a lot to cheer me up.



I really hope someone makes me a cake in the shape of a four and a three when I turn 33, like Murray got in this song. And I'm sorry about all the complaints in this post. It's Friday, a happy day. Yes, I did back into the garbage cans on accident this morning, but the day is looking up. And the weekend is almost upon us! Onward and upward!

(I didn't know how to end this post so I got overly enthusiastic. Let's just move on.)

Wednesday Thoughts

I've been home, sick, for the last couple days and it's surprising how being sick just sucks away your creativity. (I'm trying to warn you that I have nothing funny to say so if you stop reading now, I'll understand.)

A couple weeks ago I saw seasons one and two of Full House on sale for $14.99 (for both) and decided it was too good a deal to pass up. Today I was glad I did; Full House is the perfect sick day TV show. Nothing like gentle comedy to get you through a day where you're only half alert.

I am starting to really look forward to the holidays coming up! I love Thanksgiving and Christmas. The only bad thing about the holidays is that they make a single person feel even more single than usual. Have you noticed that? I am going to try not to focus on that aspect of them though, and just enjoy myself.

Every year on Thanksgiving my family holds a gingerbread house making competition, as I've mentioned previously. I'm trying to come up with a cool plan for mine this year but I can't over do it, as too much pre-planning is frowned upon by the judges (AKA my family). Do you make a gingerbread house this time of year?

Confession: I'm seeing New Moon with a group of girls (women) Friday night and I bought the tickets online weeks ago. As I was ordering them, I had a bit of an identity crisis along the lines of "who am I? Am I the kind of person who orders Twilight tickets three weeks before the movie? How old am I?" I concluded that it was Sarah's fault (just kidding, Sarah!). But I really am looking forward to the phenomena of seeing a Twilight movie on opening weekend - more for the audience reaction than for the movie itself. It's gonna be a trip. I saw the first Twilight movie in a crowded theater and was beyond entertained by the giggles, the gasps, and the shouts of "I LOVE YOU!" (I couldn't hold it in) at the movie screen. I expect no less this time.

Happy Wednesday guys - I hope your day was better than mine!

Frankenstein nightmare!

Out of all the monsters in horror movies, Frankenstein has always seemed to me to be the least scary. He's slow, dimwitted, and grunts a lot. Yet last night I had a nightmare that I was being chased by Frankenstein and it was terrifying! It was the kind of nightmare you wake up from and you're afraid to move lest he realizes your awake and gets you.

I know it's crazy. I mean, the extended arms, the grunting, the stiff movements...they don't seem scary until you see them in real life. Real dream life, that is. Until Frankenstein is actually chasing you. It's much worse than I imagined it would be. I'll never forgot those bolts.

What's with dreams? Why Frankenstein? Is it because I was talking about Frankenmuth so much yesterday?

Will you still need me, will you still feed me...

fLast night I met up with a friend at a bar to see a band. I don't drink, but I go to bars now and then either to see bands or for karaoke. Last night something horrible happened. When I went entered the bar...I wasn't carded.

At first I thought the guy sitting there just wasn't carding people, but when I passed by him later, I saw him carding some girls who were walking in. I gasped and stared. I was outraged.

It hit me, and it hit me hard. I look over 21. I mean, I obviously look over 21. There was no doubt in the carding guy's mind. I wanted to give him a piece of my mind, but I was afraid I'd look like the lady in the picture above.

I comforted myself by talking bad about the girls he carded, "why that whippersnapper just thinks they're young because they're dressed liked floozies!" Then I grabbed my walker, hitched up my knee socks, muttered "kids" under my breath, and marched back over to my table, trying to put the incident behind me.

{Sigh.} Good thing I have my AARP discounts to comfort me.

Your specialty

Do you have something that you're known for at Thanksgiving dinner? And I don't mean your tendency for bringing up family secrets or or how you always spill on the table cloth; I mean your special recipe that everyone hopes you'll bring again! I want to make something delicous for Thanksgiving dinner this year whether it be a side dish or a dessert. If you have a recipe that people love, please share it!

The Chris Farley Show

Kathy and I were laughing about this video earlier this week and I thought it was worth sharing. I had forgotten about this clip completely which is crazy because I used to love it quote it all the time. I hope you enjoy it as much as we did.

"Remember that time..?..."

Wednesday Thoughts

As summer fades into fall and fall fades into w*nter, I'm getting more and more pale. I guess over the summer months I forgot I'm part albino. Do any of you fake bake in the winter? I never have because of, you know, cancer. But I wonder if once or twice would hurt?

I had an extremely stressful experience at the herstyler stand at the mall over the weekend. It involved:

1) Getting bullied into a buying (what turned out to be) a (n) (amazing) flat iron.*
2) Getting bullied into giving the sales guy my phone number after paying for the flat iron.

Our conversation went like this:

Him: Can I have your number?
Me: You already made the sale, you can stop flattering me now.
Him: No, I really like you.
Me: (putting my wallet away) I don't think you do. (This had nothing to do with low self esteem but rather, the fact that he had been showering me with insincere flattery for the past half hour in order to make the sale.)
Him: I really do. Are you busy tomorrow night?
Me: Yes.
Him: Please give me your number.

At this point I gave him my number for two reasons - one, I never thought he'd call, and two, I wanted to leave. Since then, I've gotten a call almost every day from the same local number but the person hasn't left a message. Is it him? Should I call him back? I have no desire to go out with that guy, don't get me wrong. It's just curiousity. If it is him calling, I'm pretty sure he's just doing it to call my bluff. He's relentless.

Moving on, in other Wednesday Thoughts, what do you think of Christmas music starting on the radio after Halloween?

And lastly, today's 11/11, make a wish.

Happy Wednesday.

*Stop judging me for caving. He gave me an amazing deal, and what can I say - I have weak sales resistance.

Awkward responses

I've either said or heard all of these lately.

Person A: Happy birthday!
Person B: Happy birthday to you too! (it was not my birthday)

Taco Bell drive through worker: Pull around to the next window. Thank you!
Person B: You're welcome.

Waiter: Enjoy your meal!
Patron: You too!

Most likely the "you too" response is the most common awkward response - I've heard it or said it many times to the ticket taker at the movie theater who says, "enjoy your show!" Why can I never remember the obvious response of "thank you"!?

Cuteness Overload

K, I don't normally do this, but I have to post a picture of the cutest dog ever (besides your dog, of course). I'm watching this dog this week and I can't get over her cuteness so I had to share. I thought it would be selfish not to. She had just gotten done biting at me and snuggling with me (simultaneously) when I took this picture. That's why she looks so worn out.

Wednesday Thoughts

How do you feel about "whole nother" verses "whole other" (or is it "another whole?")? You would think as someone with a degree in English it would annoy me when people say "whole nother" but it actually intrigues me.

Who here's going to participate in No Shave November? Ladies? Guys? I love to see a guy with a good (well kempt) beard in the winter. Speaking of winter, I saw some snow flakes on my way to work this morning! It was magical.

I got too scared to finish The Changeling the night before Halloween when I watched it with Katherine. I've seen that movie one million times (to be precise) yet this time I couldn't finish it because I was too scared. What in the world!? I think I need to watch it with a big strong guy next time. Yeah, that's it...

I'm not ready for winter. I like the snow, but I hate the cold. I think I need to plan a vacation to someplace warm to get away to when the cold and gray get to be too much. Where's a good warm place to visit that's not too expensive?

Happy Wednesday.

Fountain of Youth

I'm getting older. I can see it in my eyes. I'm getting lines around them. I start thinking about my options: anti-aging cream, botox, or aging "gracefully."

A few years ago, I ran into an old friend. Or not so much a friend, rather, someone I used to know. When she saw me, her eyes widened and she said, "Wow. You look older." What else could I say but, "Thanks a lot." Backtracking quickly, she said, "No, I just mean that you've always had a baby face but now you look your age."

Again, thanks.

My dad's mom used to always say she was a young person trapped in an old lady's body. That's me. (I wish there was such a thing as a sarcasm text. I hope you all know me well enough by now to know that I'm half joking.)

For the most part I don't mind being the age I am. There are parts of it that are more stressful than others. Some are serious worries and some are less serious. In general I don't usually feel too "old" and I don't try to look or act younger than I am.

But I really don't like what's happening to my eyes. I was talking about this at a family gathering on Satuday and my uncle said, "Let me see." He looked at my face and told me to smile. Then he gave me his diagnosis, "those are just smile lines, not crows feet."

So there it is. My punishment for being happy: wrinkles.

But the thing is, no matter how bad the smile lines get I know I don't have it in me to actually get Botox. I just don't think I'm a Botox kind of girl. I've even found myself actually looking up websites about Botox injections (I like the before and after pictures) but it always leaves me thinking, "I'm never going to actually do this....am I?" But I'm not. I think I just use it as a way to threaten my skin, "if you don't stop aging, you're going to pay." My skin probably knows it's an idle threat but I keep trying to scare it into behaving anyway.

My hairstylist, who's the same age as me, gets Botox injections every 4-6 months and has tried to talk me into doing the same. But aren't we too young to start doing that so often? If you're doing that every 4-6 months at age 30, can you imagine how much Botox will be in your system by the time you're 60!?

I think my best option is to stop the aging in process in nonsurgical ways. First matter of business: no more smiling, laughing, or doing anything else to deepen my smile lines. That includes giggling. Muffled laughing is ok as long as I don't move my face at all.

Ok, now I did not write this post so you would tell me I don't look old so please don't feel any obligation to do so. The whole post is somewhat tongue in cheek (with a little truth to it). If any of you feel the same way about laugh lines or Botox or have any tips, feel free to share! But don't write anything funny in the comments - remember, no more laughing.

These are a few of my...

Scariest things:

• Movie: The Changeling
• TV character: The Smoke Monster
• Article of clothing: Tie between the ascot and the dickie
  
• TV show: Gossip Girl (I've never actually seen it, but it looks terrifying.)
• Personality trait: The One-Upper!
• Sound effect in a scary movie: Child's music box
• Thing to see in the dark: a lady ghost
• TV show commercial: Medium
• Politician: Kwame Kilpatrick (ok, maybe he's not the scariest - by far - but he's been on the news a lot again lately and what he says scares me.)
• Fact about me: I know 2/3 of the Jonas Brother's names
  
• parody: scary Mary Poppins
  
• Time of day: dawn

What are some of your scariest things?

A clip about the Changeling:

Wednesday Thoughts

You know it's "that kind of day" when you check the clock four times in the first hour of work.

You know what, you guys? I will never understand men. Games, games games... They are mysteries to me. I'll leave it at that.

I feel embarrassed whenever I hear that Party in the USA song by Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana. Is anyone with me on this?

Is blogging vanity? I've been wondering this lately. Why should I assume that any of you care what I have to say? Do any of you struggle with this in your blogging?

I hope you're not too mad at me for blogging about vampires yesterday. I've almost forgiven myself.

Three more days till Halloweekend and I can't wait. I think a haunted hayride might be in order.

Happy Wednesday.

Blood Lust

Of all the creepy, spooky, lurking things out there, vampires are consistently on top when it comes to hottness. But who's the hottest of them all? There are so many options - there are at least two or three vampire shows on this season, not to mention the movies and books about vampires. When I was a teenager, my favorite movie was The Lost Boys, a vampire movie featuring some of the hotties of that time period. And I'm pretty sure Brad Pitt was a vampire in the 90's. But for my money, these are the top three contenders for hottest vamp:

Spike. Spike, Spike, Spike... In my opinion, he's the winner. He's definitely my favorite character from Buffy The Vampire Slayer. His attitude, his humor, his personality, his bad boy persona, his disregard for rules, his physical strength, etc.... Spike's hot.

Angel -Also from BTVS, Angel's a close second and at times almost beats Spike. But although his looks are more classically attractive, Spike's attitude makes him hotter (in my opinion). Angel's brooding and sensitivity do make him a contender though.

Edward - I'm not going to post a picture of Robert Pattinson because I can't stand him as Edward. I'm talking about the Edward in the book. He's hot, sensitive, loving, lonely, brooding, etc... He's basically number one in the Twilight books (after Jake).

What do you think? In the spirit of Halloween, who's your favorite vampire? Is your favorite on this list?

Thoughts from this weekend

It was an interesting weekend. It came with the good and the bad. Here are some thoughts from this weekend (as with Wednesday Thoughts, these thoughts are unrelated):

1.) Starbursts should not be trusted. I bit into one yesterday and its sharp edge made a huge cut in my tongue. My tongue is all swollen now and it's nearly impossible to talk normally! I don't blame you for laughing - it's ridiculous.

2.) Whenever I talk to my married friends about having a crush on a guy or wondering if he likes me, they always get nostalgic and say they miss those days of "not knowing" at the beginning of a relationship. I suspect that they're not remembering the insecurity, self doubt, and confusion clearly. But I could be wrong. Maybe some people enjoy those feelings.

3.) I am easily scared when it comes to ghost stories. At my Halloween party on Friday, my friend Adam told me some scary stories and I could hardly sleep that night. I am turning into a serious light weight as I get older.

4.) I really need to step it up when it comes to costumes. I never give my Halloween costumes 100%. Are any of you going all out this year? I still have six days to come up with something awesome.

5.) I went to a Halloween concert last night where the whole orchestra was in costumes. A ton of the guys dressed as women, which caught me off guard (why wear heals if you don't have to!?). One section of the orchestra went as Tetris pieces, which I loved. It was fun to see the group costumes (others included the Scooby gang, secret service with Obama, mimes and many others). Have you ever been part of a group costume? I only have once and it was as Earth, Wind, and Fire. We dressed as the elements, not the band. People didn't get it.

So there you have it - a few thoughts from this weekend. Now it's Monday and I've been informed that some toxic waste is being removed nearby. I had no idea there was toxic waste on this block but it does explain my third eye.

Hope you had a great weekend!

Wednesday Thoughts

I just got back from a walk with The. Most. Stubborn. Dog. (Some of you know her as Daisy.) On our walk through the park, Daisy fell in love with someone - a human who was walking her dogs. She (Daisy) refused to walk past this woman, and insisted on walking with her the rest of the way. Luckily the lady was cool and thought it was funny. And even more luckily, we were near the end of the trail when Daisy decided she would walk no more than five paces away from her new best friend. It was still slightly ridiculous though.

I am so glad it's Wednesday. Partly because that means Modern Family is on tonight! If you guys haven't seen this show yet, you should check it out! It's hilarious.

In other thoughts, it's almost November. Am I the only one who is shocked by this? When I was a teenager my uncle told me that time goes faster and faster the older you get. He was right!

So anyway, I decided that I'm going to be Medusa for Halloween. I bought some little snakes to put in my hair, and I know how to do my makeup, but what should I wear? I have no idea. And I only have till Friday to figure it out. Any suggestions are welcome!

Happy Wednesday.

Communication Breakdown

When I was young and I wanted talk to a friend I had two options: call them or go to their house. If they lived far away, I had to call them long distance (sparingly) or write them a letter and wait days or weeks to hear back.

As you know, the ways to stay in touch with friends and family have changed dramatically in a short time. E-mail, texting, free long distance, video chat, non-video online chat, blogs, facebook, myspace, etc... These methods are wonderful when used to stay in touch with friends and family who live far away, but when it comes to loved ones who live nearby, I think they might be overused. Are we connecting emotionally less? I don't know. I haven't done any research on this, it's just something I've been thinking about.

From time to time I stay with a friend's teenage kids while she and her husband are out of town. When the teenage girl gets home from school, the first thing she does is get on her laptop and starts chatting online with her friends. I did something similar when I was her age, except that I called my friends on the phone after school. When she wants to communicate with a guy she's crushing on, she does so via Facebook or some kind of online chat. I didn't have that option at her age - I had to either call the guy I liked or talk to him at school. I know I sound old school when I say this, but I wonder if there's something dangerous or numbing about the one step removal from voice to voice communication. I could be wrong, it's just something I'm curious about. Does it make it easier to say things you would not say (or should not say) in person? Do you feel as close to your friends when you're not hearing their voices or seeing their faces? Does the same bonding occur? Does it make you more lonely?

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate technology. I think all these things can be used for good and quite frankly, I use all of them. And maybe I'm being a hypocrite. After all, I grew up without this technology and heaven knows I'm no master communicator because of it! But still, I can't help but wonder. The changes in communication technology all happened so fast that we haven't really had a chance to think about them. Some things have become normal that maybe shouldn't be.

Here are a few more questions/thoughts I've had on the subject:

1.) Is it ok to ask someone on a first date via e-mail? This has happened to me several times, and while it doesn't offend me, it also doesn't give me the butterflies being asked on the phone or in person does.

2.) Should you make a major announcement in a Facebook status update before you've told your family and close friends? This includes pregnancies, engagements, or life decisions.

3.) Do you find yourself always using an e-card to replace a paper card for your closest friends/relatives (for anniversaries, holidays, birthdays...)? I do this a lot, and I'm not saying it's a bad thing necessarily, I'm just wondering if it's over done.

4.) This last one is more of a statement than a question: long texting conversations do not count as real conversations. This is especially confusing when it comes to dating. So often after a friend of mine has gone on a good date, I'll ask her later, "So, have you heard from him since the date?" And she'll say, "well, he texted me..." with a confused sound in her voice. When it comes to dating, texting is confusing. Who's with me on this? I'm not saying it should be banned, but I think it should be used sparingly, at least at the beginning of a relationship.

I know this post is a bit random and out of character for me but I have been thinking about this stuff lately and I thought I'd post about it. I'd love any insights you have. I really hope this post doesn't sound judgemental - I just think that sometimes we use technology when it would be more appropriate to actually talk to each other. (Ironic that I'm communicating these thoughts to you via my blog, no?)

Top costumes

According to this article I read, these are some of the costumes that will be most used this Halloween. Which do you think would be the most fun to dress up as?

The Balloon Boy

The Swine Flu

Joe Wilson

Lady Gaga

Kanye West and Taylor Swift

Susan Boyle

Dreams...

I had a dream last night that I was a full time bridesmaid. By that I mean that it was my job. The whole dream was of me in different dresses marching down the aisle at various weddings of strangers. At one point in the dream I wondered why these brides didn't have their own friends to be their bridesmaids. It was a weird dream. Do you think it means anything? Do I subconsciously think I'll always be a bridesmaid, never a bride?

It was an amusing (not depressing) dream full of ugly dresses and I just had to share it.

Wednesday Thoughts

With the weather getting cold and the leaves changing colors, I'm finding myself in the mood to watch Ghostbusters. Remember that scene with the ghost librarian? Terrifying. (The rest of the movie, not so much.) It's sad how as you get older, movies that scared you as a kid are no longer scary. Another movie in that "used to be scary"category: Watcher in the Woods. Remember that one? NAREK!! (That's a reference to one of the "scariest" parts of the movie, in case you haven't seen it.)

This has been quite a week. I got my oil changed and found out five things need to be replaced in my car. I got a jury duty summons in the mail. My phone broke. My earring broke, etc.. etc...

But lots of good things have happened too, so I'm trying to focus on those. Don't worry, I'm not too gloomy - I'm sure things will pick up as the week goes on.

Moving back to what I was saying at the beginning of this post, I am definitely in the fall/Halloween spirit. I feel like watching a movie that's scary, but not too scary. Any suggestions? I caught something called "Mostly Ghostly" on the Disney channel and watched about five minutes before getting spooked and changing the channel. So keep that in mind when making recommendations.

How are you getting into the fall/Halloween spirit? Happy Wednesday.

To shave or not to shave...

Look, I'm going to just apologize in advance for blogging about Magnum again. I promise this will be the last time. But, of my celebrity crushes, he is the most controversial of them, by far. There's just something about Magnum. Not Tom Selleck, mind you. Magnum.

Today at work, somehow the topic of Magnum came up. I'm pretty sure I did not bring it up, although I'm sure some will claim I did. Anyway, Kathy hadn't known about my Magnum crush and was pretty shocked by it. Our conversation went something like this:

Kathy: Magnum, really!?

Me: Yes.

Kathy: What about the chest hair!?

Me: Yes.

Kathy: Ewwwwww!!!!!

Justin: I have no idea what Monica saw in him.
Me: Hey!!

This all led to a conversation about body hair. We were very divided on men's body hair, with me being against soul patches and goatees, and them being against beards and chest hair (I am a for both of those). We all agreed on mustaches though (no, at least, not if you're under 45 - I think it's a generational thing). We also agreed completely on women's body hair (how do some women not shave their legs?!).

So I decided to poll some of my friends tonight. I didn't give them any explanation before starting the poll, I just asked them if I could ask them a few questions for my blog. About two questions into the poll, Christi said, "Are you blogging about Magnum again!?" Sarah had a funny reaction too. She answered all the questions (solidly against all body hair on men), but when I said, "this post is going to be about Magnum, by the way," she said, "Oh, well Magnum is a totally different story! He's the exception." Katherine felt the same way. So without further ado, here are the results:

The type is very small, so to clarify, the first question was chest hair, yes or no, the second was goatee, then soul patch, followed by mustache and finally beard. What do you think?

I recently told someone that I should make myself wait 24 hours before posting the things I write on my blog. When I told this to Katherine later, she told me that would take all the fun out of it. This is the kind of post where I hope she was right.

Question

Do you think if someone said "yoink" when they stole your purse (or wallet) it would make it funnier?

Wednesday Thoughts

I had a horrible night's sleep last night. I woke up almost every hour I think. Needless to say, I feel like a zombie today. I'm not sure what caused my night of sleeplessness, but I think I can blame it on the Tigers game. It was either that or the nap I took from 7:00 to 9:00 yesterday evening. One of my more foolish decisions this week. In my defense, I had just had a big bowl of chicken and white bean stew and slipped into a stew coma. So it was more of a coma than a nap.

So, not to be too gloomy, but this has been such a long week. Last night felt like it should be Friday night. The upside: today's Wednesday. Hump day. We're almost there!

Today I'm feeling more optimistic but yesterday I was in a mood. I wrote a whole blog post about how my iPod was driving me crazy. The post had a list of complaints from everything to a tangled cord to songs that started out too quiet then deafened me when they started (because I turned the volume up when I couldn't hear them at the beginning). Aren't you glad I didn't post it?

Another thing I resisted blogging about: the Dr. Mario tournament I was a part of Monday night. Partly because I don't want to embarrass the people I beat (annihilated), and partly because I've been accused of talking (bragging) about Dr. Mario too much. Also, I'm pretty sure my grandma would tell me it's not helping my cause. Honestly, I'd have to agree with her.

Well, I just managed to blog about two things I told you I wasn't going to blog about.

Have a great Wednesday!

A visit to Grandma's

Tonight Katherine and I visited our grandma. We had a nice, pleasant visit but I was disturbed at how openly my grandma talked about getting things in order so she can die. She was very casual about it, not giving talk of death the forboding tone I usually use when talking about my own future death (insert sad/scary music here).

Because I've told you about her before, and because she makes me laugh, I thought I'd share two short conversations I had with her tonight.

Me, after picking up a throw pillow that had fallen behind the couch, "Grandma, do you want this on the couch?"
Grandma: "No, it needs to be washed. When I die you can throw it away."
Me: "Grandma! Stop talking about dying!"
Grandma, laughing: "Oh heavens, I'm looking forward to it!"

later...

Me, saying goodbye: "I'll come by to see you later this week. Don't die. At least wait till I get married!"
Grandma: "I've been waiting and waiting and waiting! I can't live forever!"

Oh, Grandma.

Pain + Pain = More Pain

Yesterday, after suffering through two weeks of constant headaches, I decided to treat myself to a seated massage. I had concluded that the headaches were stemming from a pain in my neck and that a massage was not an extravagance in this case, but a medical necessity.

I was assigned a massage therapist named Steve. He was a big guy with huge hands. I've had many seated massages in my life, but they've mostly been by the same small woman each time so I was kind of looking forward to the change. Little did I know...

The massage started out nice, but quickly became painful as Steve worked out the knots in my shoulders, pressing on each knot with his elbow and leaning on it with all his body weight. The pain increased as he started working on my neck. As his huge hands worked their way around my neck I thought, "so this is what it would feel like to be choked to death."

Eventually the choking part of the massage was over and the massage became slightly less painful. Until the karate chops started. Steve was probably three times as big as me and didn't seem to notice that his karate chops were breaking my spine into tiny little pieces.

The good news today: my headache isn't as bad as it has been. The bad news: it's possible I'm a candidate for a full body cast. Was it worth it?

Wednesday Thoughts

I think I've gotten myself in too deep with sewing. I started a new pattern today - it's the first time I've really followed a pattern - and I truly have no idea what I'm doing. I spent two hours cutting out all the fabric, then I just stared back and forth between it and the pattern for a long long time until I had to walk away, bewildered. I've been occassionally glancing over at it, but it intimidates me and I haven't had the nerve to approach it again yet.

I almost skipped writing Wednesday Thoughts today, but I skipped it last week and didn't want to get out of the habit. Truth is, I've been feeling a little blah these last couple Wednesdays. I'm not sure what it is. I'm sure I'll snap out of it. Usually I enjoy Wednesdays. Maybe it has something to do with the change in seasons - it's a mystery.

One thing I have been thinking about lately that I will share with you: I've been trying to come up with a good Halloween costume. The last couple years I have had a really hard time choosing a costume. I've asked my nieces and nephews for ideas but they always have the same suggestion: "a pwincess."

I was talking about this with a friend the other day and she told me that her mom always dressed her in crazy costumes when she was a kid, including one Halloween when her mom dressed her as an OB/GYN. She was about seven or eight, dressed in a doctor's costume, carrying around a naked baby doll the whole night. She had no idea what an OB/GYN was.

I want to come oup with something creative like that, but maybe without the "ew" factor. I've thought about being Doc from Back to the Future on occassion, but I'm not sure I want to be something ugly (no offense, Doc). Although I would like the excuse to say things like, "1.21 gigawatts!" And "Great scott!" for a whole evening. Halloween's the one night of the year I can get away with saying those things without people looking at me like I'm a crazy person.

What was your best costume ever?

Happy Wednesday.

Questions

I've had a few questions on my mind lately. If you have any insights/answers, feel free to share.

Is it worth it to continue giving someone the silent treatment if they don't realize you're giving them the silent treatment?

If someone says, "it's just not my humor" about your favorite show, are they really trying to say the show isn't funny? Should you be ashamed that you think it's funny?

Is there such a thing as everyday shoes that are comfortable, affordable, and cute? I know there's not so don't tell me there is.

Maybe there's no correct answers to these questions. Or maybe that's just what I tell myself when I disagree with the answers.

Love Story

My grandma is going to be 90 years old in January. She recently told my mom that she feels like her body is starting to shut down in her advancing age. She also said that she hopes to live long enough to see me, her oldest granddaughter, get married (no pressure).

This is definitely not the first time I've heard this from her. I really don't mind when she says it because I know she means it in a sweet way - she cares about me and wants me to be happy.

As I was thinking about what she said, I realized that this situation would make a good movie. Well, it would make a good made-for-t.v. movie at least. But depending on what channel it was on, the story could be interpreted very differently.

For example, if it were on the Lifetime channel, it would have a name like, "A Grandmother's Wish." This movie would involve me meeting a handsome gardener or childhood friend while staying at my grandma's house to care for her. It would definitely end with the gardener/childhood friend and I getting married, but since it's a Lifetime movie, it would also end with my grandmother's death. I can't have that. Let's explore some other options.

ABC Family: In this movie, I would hire someone to play my fiance to appease my grandma. There would be all sorts of minor conflicts, such as a snoopy sibling discovering that the guy I hired isn't really my fiance and almost ruining everything. There would also be a moment where I'd wonder if I was doing the right thing, toying with everyones emotions. This moment would come when I see my "fiance" laughing and bonding with my family, then making meaningful eye contact with me. This movie would end well, with us actually falling in love in getting married. Oh, and it would be starring either James Franco or Ryan Reynolds as the fiance. I would play myself, and my grandma would probably be played by Betty White. (The more I read this synopsis, the more I think I've already seen this movie in several different forms.)

Disney channel: Because I'm ancient in Disney years, in this movie I would be marrying for a second time, after having my heart broken by my first husband and becoming fiercely independent. Selena Gomez, Disney's sweetheart, would probably have to be in the movie, and sadly, they'd probably cast her as my daughter. She and my grandma, who would be played by Julie Andrews, would scheme to help me find love. They'd succeed. Dangit, I just realized that because it's the Disney channel, my love interest would probably be Billy Ray Cyrus. Oh well.

Clearly the best option is the Family channel version. Well, the best option would probably be actually getting married, but until then I'll see what I can do about getting this movie made. First matter of business: does anyone have Ryan Reynolds' phone number? I just want to know if he's available. For the movie, that is.

I'm ready...

...for candy corn, pumpkins, scary movies, crisp fall weather, changing leaves, hot apple cider, Halloween, Thanksgiving...and so much more! I have all things fall (autumn, that is) on my mind lately.

I'm sorry if you find this post obnoxious with the changing fonts and colors and whatnot. I just couldn't contain my excitement about fall.

The Un-friending

I think it's widely accepted that facebook is both awesome and evil (it's about 30/70). One of the ways in which it is evil is the un-friending.

I'll admit that I have unfriended people myself. In fact, I recently un-friended about 35 people who were on my friend list. Before you tell me how harsh that is, I have to clarify that these were people I barely knew, but who's friend request I accepted because they looked vaguely familiar and we had some mutual friends. That describes the majority of them anyway. When their updates showed up in my news feed, I'd think, "who is that?" So I didn't feel very guilty un-friending most of them.

I was talking about this with a friend of mine this past week and she told me that she had recently been un-friended by someone and that it didn't feel very good. It was someone she knew growing up and even though she hadn't been in contact with this person for years, she was still kind of hurt when she realized this person had un-friended her.

I could relate. One old friend of mine friend requested me last year, then three months later with no explanation, un-friended me! That was more amusing to me than anything, but it did make me wonder if I'd done anything wrong.

Often though, I think we have no idea that someone un-friended us. I have, in the past, noticed my number of friends decrease and wonder who un-friended me. But I figure if you don't notice that you're no longer friends with them, you probably weren't that close with them anyway. Either that or they were trying to stick it to you and you didn't notice, which really just sticks it to them.

Another friend told me that her family uses facebook as ammo when they're mad at each other. She said that her siblings and cousins are constantly un-friending each other, then later friend requesting each other when they make up.

From talking to some friends about this, these are the top reasons for un-friending people. (This poll was not scientific.) You'll have to let me know if I miss anything important reasons.



Have you been un-friended? (I'm going to post a poll at the side to make it easy for you to respond.) I'm also curious about what makes you un-friend people, or if you have done it in the past.

In other news, I wish I could remember life before Facebook...

Trash Talk

I am often accused of being a mean trash talker when I'm playing Dr. Mario with friends. I try to back off a bit but I always say, "this is nothing, the friends I used to play Dr. Mario with were the meanest (read: best) trash talkers ever! "

In order to prove that, I am posting the following conversation. This is between me and one of my friends who I will refer to by the initials "M. F." (Mean Friend). I told him I wouldn't use his real name when I asked him for permission to post this conversation. And when I say "Mean Friend" I mean it in the nicest way possible.

This e-mail conversation occured recently when I started a game of Scramble on Facebook with M.F. and subsequently forgot about that game, then did very poorly when I took my turn.

M. F. :Seriously? You challenge me, then you lay an egg, then you stop playing? Just pathetic. I bet your parents are ashamed. Just ashamed.
Me: Lay an egg!? I don't remember that!! I actually forgot I started that game; I'll get on it tonight.
M. F. : Oh, so you actually thought you were doing well? That's even better.
Me: I forgot how mean you are.
M. F. : I forgot how bad you are.
Me: This is our last game.
M. F. : Actually, our last game was apparently our last game, since I wouldn't count this.

...a bit later...

M. F. And just know: whatever you say, I will have a comeback. And it will be meaner than the last one. It's a race to the bottom and I'm world-class, baby.
Me: You are cracking me up. And hurting my feelings, simultaneously.
M. F. : Question: What's laughter without hurt feelings?
Answer: Friends.
Question: What's laughter with hurt feelings?
Answer: Family.
Glad to know we're family.

See, I'm not that bad, right?