With "Transformers" coming out this week, Kathy and I got talking about the movie and more specifically, Shia LeBeouf. Shia becomes my celebrity flavor of the week whenever a new Transformers comes out. Kathy even told me my tone when talking about him was inappropriate for work. I mentioned this to someone else and they said, "really!? Shia LeBeouf!?" But I know I'm not the only one with an eye for Shia. Which is why I'm going to the drive-in to see Transformers tonight even though one critic said:
"Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" -- the most terrible revenge since Montezuma's -- is louder, longer and lamer than the 2007 hit it succeeds."
I'm seeing it anyway. Because that's what you do for your celebrity crush, right? You support them in their movies - good and bad (well, that, and I was outvoted about what movie we're seeing tonight but for Shia, I'll concede).
This isn't the first time I've seen a bad movie purely because of the eye candy - there was Race to Witch Mountain for the Rock, Leatherheads for George Clooney and John Krasinski, and others I probably shouldn't mention dating all the way back to Young Guns II.
What do you think? Is Shia worth it tonight? Have you ever seen a movie you knew was going to be bad just for the eye candy?
Ok, so my last post got no comments. It's cool, it's cool....I don't need validation. Really, I'm fine. I feel good about myself either way, honestly. I mean, so you didn't like my last post. That's ok. We're still friends. You can't please everyone all the time, right? That's what they say. Sometimes I guess you just don't really have anything to say in response to things I've written...It doesn't mean you don't like me. It doesn't mean I'm a bad person or that my blog is no good. I don't need comments to feel good about myself. Honestly. I'm fine. Really.
"There are two types of people in the world" has got to be one of my all time favorite phrases. You never know how it's going to end, and it almost always puts people into the most ridiculous and truly non-defining groups imaginable.
Just yesterday, I was thinking about the movie "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou" (which is a movie I didn't understood or particularly enjoy) and as I thought about it and how weird it is, the phrase, "there are two types of people in the world..." came into my head in regards to how people either seem to love that movie or hate it. But then I thought, "wait, that can't be right. Are there really only two types of people in the world? And if so, are those the groups?"
Which got me thinking about other "two types" I've heard in my life. Here are some I thought of. (Which of these is the most true?)
...those who can do the Hammer dance, and those who can't. ...those who like South Park and those who don't. ...those who think the Office is funny and those who don't (I'm leaning towards thinking this one is true.) ...those who like Jimmy Buffet and those who don't. ...those who like George Bush and those who don't. ...those who have blogs and those who don't.
What if we were all separated into two groups based on one of these and forced to live together? I wonder if I'd have anything in common with my group besides the fact that we can all do the Hammer dance?
Which group would you be in? Do you have any "there are two types of people..." distinctions of your own?
I have some dating rules, as you know. One I don't think I've mentioned before is "no arguing on the first date, unless absolutely necessary." I recently went on a first date where this rule was tested. The guy I was out with made some statements of his opinions that I found more than just a little shocking. Now, I should be clear that I don't think he was trying to argue with me. In fact, I think he just assumed I would agree with what he said.
Instead of arguing with him, I just changed the subject as delicately as I could. The next week, I reported to Ann and Kathy about the date. When I told them some of the things he said, their jaws dropped and they said, "What did you say to that!?" When I told them about my rule, they looked at me like I was crazy. But my theory is that it there's no point arguing on a first date unless, as previously stated, it is absolutely necessary. For example, if the guy says something that insults your core beliefs. In this case, his statements were politically based. And while I strongly disagreed with him, I knew that there was no point getting into it and that neither of us would change our opinion.
There was a time though, years ago, when I got into quite a fight on a first date. Do you want to hear about it? If you do, read on. If not, boooring! Here we go.
Now, this wasn't a typical first date. I don't even know if this could technically be considered a date, but I'm going to tell the story anyway. This story is about a guy named..let's say... Rob (changing his name for obvious reasons). Rob moved to the area for a summer job and we casually got to know each other. He flirted with me, I thought he was attractive, and after talking several times, he asked me if I'd like to meet up with some of his friends and go camping.
I thought it sounded like fun and I wanted to get to know him better so I agreed. So the next weekend we headed off for what would be one of the worst weekends of my life.
We had a nice enough drive to where we were camping (three hours away), and when we pulled up to the campsite, a whole bunch of people came up to meet us. It was dark so I couldn't see them at first, but as my eyes focused and I heard the giggles, I realized they were all girls, and they were all thrilled to see Rob. And less than thrilled to see me. They put their flashlights in my faces and asked in unfriendly tones, "who are you?" Then crowded around Rob and pretended I wasn't there.
We put our stuff down and went to the campfire, where the girls rushed to sit on either side of him. I should mention, there were guys there too but Rob didn't know any of them.
I introduced myself to some of the people and tried to make the best of the situation, but the whole time I was thinking, "why did he invite me here if he was coming to see these girls?" As the night went on, my rage increased. I eventually went off to my tent and tried to get some sleep. The next morning he greeted me as if nothing weird had happened and I decided to just power through - we were going home later that day and I hoped today would go better than the night before. We ate breakfast, then we all headed off to go canoeing.
When we got to the canoes and were choosing partners, a couple of the more carnivorous girls from the night before grabbed Rob and took him to their canoe. I could not believe that he would make me go in a canoe with strangers, but that's exactly what happened. You can imagine my fury at this point but I was too shocked to say anything to him at the time. Plus, I knew that considering how mad I was, there would most definitely be a scene.
When the canoeing excursion was over, Rob and I went back to his car. Once in his car, I let him have it. The funny thing is, he was totally caught off guard. He had no idea that I would be mad that he had invited me on a camping trip filled with women who loved him and hated me. We got in a huge fight, then had the most awkward three-hour drive home of my life.
And I never spoke to him again.
Anyone got a better story? Anyone gotten into a fight on a first date?
...five days later I still have the heebie jeebies. I watched the movie by myself, mostly with the shield of my fingers up over my eyes to protect me from the scariness. That must not have been enough to protect me though because I thought I'd be over it by now. But some recent behavior is telling me that I'm not over it. Things like:
- quickly pulling back the shower curtain when I go to the bathroom to make sure there's nothing scary behind it (an apparition of some sort? Or worse.).
- Afraid to go outside after dark.
- A little convinced there's something in my closet. I mean, in a grown up way, of course. Not in a childish way.
- Waking up in the middle of the night and not wanting to open my eyes for a minute or so.
- General feelings of goose bumpy-ness followed by a sideways glance.
I thought that watching the "behind the scenes" of the movie on the DVD would help de-scarify it but I was wrong. In fact, it only made it worse.
I'm just not good with scary movies. This is something that I know about myself but pretend isn't true because I like watching them. Years ago I saw the movie "The Grudge" with a then-boyfriend and it scared me to death. My ex-boyfriend thought it was hilarious to make that horrible Grudge sound to freak me out all the time. It wasn't. Then he thought that seeing the parody movie "Scary Movie" would make me less scared since that particular Scary Movie mocked the Grudge. But that didn't work either. Even though it was supposed to be funny, it actually scared me too.
But I just can't resist watching an occasional scary movie. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it. Plus, it's almost campfire time so it's time to get those scary stories ready, right? What's the scariest movie you've ever seen? Any tips on getting un-scared?
It's been far too long since I've endorsed any as-seen-on-tv products. Remember the Arctic tie? And the Chillow? And of course, who could forget the Snuggie. Well, Chris brought to my attention an awesome new product that I absolutely had to share with you. It's called the Comfort Wipe and it's what you've always been looking for! I've been saying for years now that the days of old fashioned toilet paper are coming to an end. Check this out:
Ok, now that you've seen it, I can't pretend to endorse it anymore. It's just too hilarious. My favorite lines:
"For over 100 years, we've been scrunching and folding toilet paper. Finally, there's a better way!!!!!!" (Is it really that hard to fold and scrunch?)
"It's as easy to use as a shower brush!" (I've always found shower brushes hard to use, actually.)
"Think about it: toilet paper is really archaic and disgusting!" (So is going to the bathroom at all when you really think about it. Let's eliminate the whole process! Now that would be a product I could get behind! Get it? Behind...? Moving on...)
"Being a big guy certainly has its advantages and its disadvantages. This is a great product!" (That guy is never going to live this down.)
"The Comfort Wipe allows you to maintain your dignity." (That's the fakest accent I've ever heard. Also, Chris pointed out that "dignity" shouldn't be in this advertisement unless it's in a sentence that begins, "This will ensure total and permanent forfeiture of your...")
"The first improvement to toilet paper since the 1880s!" (I still don't know what's wrong with normal t.p. George Costanza already tried everything to improve t.p. and proved that it can't be done. Who do these people think they are!?)
"Don't be embarrassed, just get a comfort wipe!" (What could be more embarrassing?!)
Let's just say you were given a Comfort Wipe as a gift. Would you use it? I have a sneaking suspicion it's not as clean and "dignified" a product as they are implying. I won't get into details though in case you're eating.
I'm starting to get a little bit of a complex about what my blog is saying about me. Tonight I was talking to my aunt about how a friend of hers wants to set me up on a blind date. My aunt suggested, "you should send her a link to your blog so she can send it to him. That way he can see how... (searching for the right word)...weird you are."
But that's not the first time my blog has had me (falsely) labeled as weird. Whenever my mom reads my blog, her response is inevitably a laugh followed by the statement, "you are so weird."
My own mother. But not only that. Three times now my blog has been described to me as "quirky."
Oh boy. Most of you know me in person, so hopefully my in person persona has convinced you of my normalcy. But I know there are some of you who don't know me in person. I can't help but wonder what your perception is of me based on my blog. I'm not asking, I'm just saying I'm curious. I'm not sure I really want to know the truth.
And I'm feeling maybe just a tiny bit of pressure to write something "normal," and fast. This is going to take some work. And I make no promises. I'm just saying it's something I'm considering. You'll find out soon enough which direction I'm going. Any requests? Weird or normal? Or maybe even, dare I say, quirky?
Lately, I've noticed something I hadn't noticed before on Facebook. On the side of my home page I'm seeing what my friends are becoming "fans" of and it's not what I expected. Now, I understand becoming a Facebook "fan" of your favorite band or TV show because as a fan, the fan group might send you updates about the bands performances or the TV shows premiere. Or maybe you want to become a fan of an organization you support. I totally get that.
But I don't understand what I've been seeing lately, which is people becoming "fans" of the most mundane things, such as (these are real):
being barefoot the sun soap shampoo nail polish eating
As I've seen more and more friends becoming fans of these things, I've started to feel pressure. If I don't become a "fan" - officially I mean - of soap, shampoo, regular showers, or the sun, does it mean I don't like them? Or support them!? Because I do. I really do. It's just more of a private, personal, unspoken, assumed support. It's not the kind of support I've ever really declared publicly. I'm afraid if I start becoming a Facebook fan of everything I like, I might be starting down a slippery slope. Eventually, after exhausting all my Facebook options, I'll feel obligated to join (or start) fan groups such as:
the circulatory system cuticles breathing oxygen blinking pores the regular intake of life sustaining calories
I'm sure some of you are getting a little annoyed right now. Why? Because I saw you on the sun's fan page. But don't be mad. I think I'm on board now. Together, you and I can set up fan pages for everything from cuticle cream to cumulus clouds! "Let no love (or commitment to hygiene) go undeclared!" will be our motto.
Well, I'd better end this post. When I think about all the things I've shown mild to serious interest in or appreciation for throughout my lifetime, I realize I have a lot of work to do. Time to start making a long list. Happy Wednesday.
Here's a bit of a conversation I overheard this morning between two older gentlemen I work with:
Gentleman A (GA):Did you read the Times this weekend? Gentleman B (GB):No, I didn't get to it. GA: Well, it was a good one! You really missed out! GB: (walking away) I'll live. GA: (calling to him) Yeah! You'll live in ignorance!!
It made me laugh to myself. I mean, who says that!?
Yesterday, my sister Heather and her husband had a garage sale. At the end of the garage sale, my brother-in-law Jim told me that if I wanted any of the CDs he'd been selling, they were up for grabs for free. After rifling through the bin, I grabbed a Toad the Wet Sprocket CD and a Counting Crows CD. Both of these bands were staples I lived on in my high school years (along with R.E.M., Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Gin Blossoms, Nine Inch Nails, and other old 90's bands).
When I got in the car later, I pulled the Toad the Wet Sprocket CD out of my purse and put it in my CD player. And wow. Ok, I'm sure you guys have experienced this when listening to a band from the past - especially a band you loved in those crazy, formative years of high school -listening to TTWS immediately sent me back to those high school days. In a good way.
As I listened to the CD, a virtual montage of my life from that time period game to mind. Here are some things that I remember most from that time: grunge, So I Married an Axe Murder, TGIF shows, Wayne's World, marching band (yeah I know, geeky), Pete and Pete, flannel shirts, really good friends, bad hair coloring on my part, big hair, senior pictures, pranks, crushes, and a decent amount of teen angst, insecurity, and anxiety. Sigh. Memories. What do you remember about your high school years?
This post is dedicated to Sarah, Abi, Kelly, Sara, Kristin, Carey, Andrea, Sharri, and all my other high school bffs!
Uhhh ohhh....I'm watching "He's just not that into you" and I'm feeling myself getting more and more bitter as the movie goes on... I never wanted to see this movie. When it first came out, some of my friends talked about seeing it, but I said, "I'm already aware that the proverbial he just isn't that into the actual me. (haha) I don't need a movie to tell me that." But I heard it was actually really good so I rented it.
Ok, normally I don't consider myself bitter. (Maybe a little?) But watching a movie like this brings out my feelings of annoyance about dating and men in general. Here's a quote from the movie that pretty much sums it up:
"We are all programmed to believe that if a guy acts like a total jerk that means he likes you."
The movie portrays women as needy, delusional, obsessive, and totally stupid. And the men are jerks, narcissistic, selfish, liars, and manipulitive.
Obviously it's just a movie. And I happen to know that not all guys are jerks. I am friends with some very sweet, non jerky guys.
But this movie left a very bad taste in my mouth!! Did you guys see this movie? What do you think of it?
And yes, I know my new blog background looks exactly like a Trapper Keeper cover but it's amusing me during a movie I'm hating so I'm keeping it. For now.
It's moving week. On Friday we're getting cubicles. And can I just say: I hate packing! Here's why:
1. It's tedious 2. I'm covered with dust 3. I don't know why I have a Ricky Martin CD in my desk drawer and even though I try to sneak it in Justin's boxes, he finds it and gives it back to me. 4. I've somehow acquired a Kenny Loggins record that has my initials on it (I have a short list of suspects for that). 5. Justin is trying to show me up with much more thorough packing than mine.
Time to focus on the positive.
1. I've somehow acquired an awesome new Kenny Loggins record. 2. I finally threw away my 2008 calendar. 3. Justin's candy is now on top of his desk (instead of hidden in his drawer) and is therefore, in my opinion, up for grabs. 4. Ann also acquired a Kenny Loggins record and hers is much worse than mine. 5. Our free table is being filled with all sorts of dusty treasures people forgot they had in/under their desks. 6. Kathy, Ann, and Justin are all going to get awesome surprises when they unpack their boxes next week.
And next week we'll be all cozy in our new cubicles. I've already bribed the cubicle guys into building a hammock in mine! It's going to be awesome.
It is a rainy Monday morning today and I must say, I love it. I mean, if it has to be Monday, it might as well be raining, right? It seems honest and right. And today has some good things going for it! For one, it's our very own Volcano-taco-loving-Justin's birthday! And Ann left me a pamphlet for Botox on my desk, so things are looking up.
How many of you guys had the Jhoon Rhee song in your head all weekend?
I live in Michigan. I'm a tiny bit older than you thought (fair warning: it's best not to ask). To spare my friends and family from listening to my every thought, I created a blog. It's sort of like a pensieve, only slightly less dramatic than Dumbledore's.
Rose: Last year the Woman of the Year in St. Olaf saved all the books from the library fire! She grabbed two books in one and and one in the other." Dorothy: Your library only has three books? What happens when someone reads them all? Rose: I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. - The Golden Girls
"A penny!? Worthless! It's the garbage of money!" - Barry, The Goldbergs
Danny: You wanna live in a ninth floor walk-up!? What happens if there's a fire? Mindy: Danny, you know my plan in an emergency is just to count to ten and wait for death's embrace! - The Mindy Project Chris: Leslie, I'm sorry. Anne didn't just go to Ann Arbor to visit her family. She went to sign a lease on our new home. Leslie: Ann Arbor sounds disgusting! Chris: She already has family there, and I have a new job lined up at the University of Michigan. Go Blue! It's a good town, and it's a great place to raise a family. Leslie: What is so great about it!? There's no JJ's Diner there, there's no Welcome to Pawnee sign! I mean, the stupid state is split up into two pieces! It's ridiculous! - Parks and Rec Tom: "Now, I know high-end, internet only magazine isn't really your scene, so Donna and I wrote up some cocktail banter and some conversation snippets for you to practice so you can fit in." Ron: (Reading) "Annabel, could I be more jelz of your low-lights right now, I mean O.M. squee, talk about bangs envy." Donna: "Oof, you got a long way to go, Swanson. Let's go again, from the top." Ron: "I regret everything." - Parks and Rec
"Hello, young man, do you carry Fat Steps Cankle Wranglers? They're for the problematic foot." - Mindy, The Mindy Project
"No one tells you how hard it is to be a parent!" - Frankie "That's because if they did, no one would do it. It's called punishing-it forward." - Mike - The Middle
"He gave us his magic and then he disappeared. Just like Toad the Wet Sprocket." - Gene, Bob's Burgers
"Listen to me. NOBODY on the computer is having as good of a time as you think they are." - Mike, The Middle
"It took me all day, but I got the ten signatures I needed! I'm running for student body president!" - George Michael, Arrested Development
"Life is precious. And if I die, I want my... son... to know the dealio. The dealio of life." - Michael Scott, The Office
"Somebody threw a snow-cone at my windshield today. I thought I hit a rainbow. It was terrifying." - Teddy, Bob's Burgers
"Stop calling me the Prince of Darkness. That's how rumors get started." - Monk
"I'm giving you an all tomato, meaning you give me the whole tomato or else." - Troy, Community Tracy, talking about Weird Al: Don't you understand? He's going to parady you again! That's what he does! That's all he does! You can't stop him! Jenna: Unless I write a song that can't be parodied. Tracy: Impossible. What do think Phil Collins was trying to do with Sussudio!? -30 Rock
"20 year old girls! They think I'm awesome! Look at them! They don't know what Saved By the Bell is and they've never felt pain!!" - Nick, New Girl
"Due to my campaign, the romantic aspect of our relationship is over, and I am totally fine with that. But Ben and I have so much in common! I mean, we're amazing friends! And friendship is better because friends help you move, they drive you to the airport! Boyfriends just.... love you and marry you." - Leslie, Parks and Rec
Claire: You know that really dangerous intersection? Phil: Where desire meets jealousy and the result is murder? Claire: Uhuh. The one where I almost killed you this morning. Phil: Oh yeah, that was my bad. I got lost in my jams! Dangerous combo: speed walking and Speedwagon. Oh! I wasn't even trying for that! - Modern Family
Tobias: As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch. Michael: Really. When did that start? Tobias: Well, I don't want to blame it on 911, but it certainly didn't help. -Arrested Development
"I don't want to talk about it Ken! You'll hear all I have to say about Jack Donaghy in my tell-all book, 'Betrayal, COLON, What Really Happened With My Baseball Team, COMMA, Disaster at Knuckle Beach, QUESTION MARK." - Tracy, 30 Rock
Burt: "You seem real happy to keep pining for her! You pine, pine, pine, but you don't do anything! You just sit there like a log!" Virginia: "A pine log!" Burt: "Which is the worst kind of log! Best log? Yule. Best Yule? Brenner. Best Brenner? David. Best David? That's where it starts to get complicated." - Raising Hope
"Camping sucks! It's super boring. And you can see the stars, which I hate. They're creepy." - April, Parks and Rec
"Andy!! I don't even want to be here! The air is too fresh - it's disgusting. I can't breathe. And there's a brook somewhere that won't stop babbling. SHUT UP!" -April, Parks and Rec
Shawn: "Gus, don't be the ribs that flip over Fred Flintstone's car. I know you're not completely sold on my hit man theory, but I need you to suspend your disbelief and hop onboard the streetcar named Shawnzire." Gus: "Dude, you know how that metaphor makes me uncomfortable." -Psych
"You had me at meat tornado." - Ron Swanson, Parks and Rec
"So dumb guys go for dumb girls, and smart guys go for dumb girls? What do smart girls get?" - Alex "Cats, mostly." - Phil -Modern Family
"The parade was awesome. Angela Lansbury was the grand marshall. Good times, she wrote." - Phil, Modern Family
"What?!? I don't have $30,000 laying around! I have it buried very deeply. And I don't want to have to dig past a certain someone to get it." - Dwight, The Office
"When you're a kid, I remember really loving going to bed. There was one time where I actually laughed myself to sleep, 'cause I couldn't believe me luck. - Karl Pilkington
"And so our employee of the month is the late Roger Dusset, who tragically died from complications due to union organizing." - Mr. Burns, The Simpsons
Ron: "I'm hungry." Leslie: "Ok, don't be such a baby. I cooked you some bacon for a trail snack." Ron: "I ate it already. I could smell it in your purse before I even parked my car. And now it's gone and I hate everything." - Parks and Rec
Shawn: "Lassy, where did you go? We were totally filming your speech!" Gus: "And we need you to sign a release for America's Funniest Home Videos." -Psych
"I've been with NBC for a really long time. A really long time. Remember the Cosby Show? I was Rudy." - Conan O'Brien
"A book hasn't caused me this much trouble since Where's Waldo went to that barber pole factory!" - Tracy, 30 Rock
"Can we go to Banana Republic? I have a crush on a mannequin there." - Millhouse, The Simpsons
"I just stopped by to thank you. You've been really supportive of me during my transformation to hideous man-beast." - Harvey, Sabrina the Teenage Witch
In reference to the date being 9/9/9: "I haven't heard that many nein's since I dated that German woman." - Conan O'Brien "
"Sadly, Teamocil has been discontinued. The sense of wellness it created in relationships was merely the first sign of complete pituitary shutdown." - Tobias Funke, Arrested Development
"I am single now. What we have here is the ultimate smackdown between the nard dog and crippling despair, loneliness, and depression. I intend to win." - Andy Bernard, The Office