Sunday, February 28, 2010

"It's interesting"

The biggest problem with changing your hair style is "the reveal." You never know how people are going to respond, especially to a big change, and it can make you feel pretty self conscious. There are a few responses that I like the least.

1) "Oh, you changed your hair!" (long pause) "Do you like it?"
2) No response from someone who obviously notices you changed it. They just look at you and look away or ask you how your weekend was while clearly avoiding saying anything.
3) "It's interesting."

The first one is harsh because they're trying to reassure you that although they obviously don't like it, the most important thing is that you like it. While that may be true, it doesn't make you feel much better.

The second one is a slap in the face. The third one is an obvious slap in the face. So what's the correct thing to say if you don't like someones hair? I've come up with a few options:

1) Lie and say you like it. I'm pretty sure you don't go to hell for these types of lies.
2) Say something like, "Oh you changed your hair! I love changing my hair - keeps things fresh." - see, you didn't lie, you didn't pretend there was no change, and you didn't compliment. But you were positive.
3) Say, "Your hair is the same color as ..." then name a celebrity who is not hideous. Once again, you're avoiding complimenting it but you're still saying something positive.

If you have more ideas, please share. And without further ado, here is a picture of my new hair. I'm not good at the self take so it was the best I could do for now. I may add more pictures another time. I really hope the comments section isn't full of "It's interesting"'s.

Friday, February 26, 2010


My mind has been wandering today and my daydreams have been all over the place. First I found myself wondering what I'd look like with extensions in my hair. Then, after reading about the whale that killed the trainer at Seaworld, I started daydreaming about how nice it would be to have a whale at work. Obviously I wasn't really thinking about all the details in the story I had just read. It would be peaceful to watch it swimming around is my theory.

I told this to my coworker Ann because we had been discussing the whole Seaworld killing and she said she'd prefer an office cat. I told her that we really couldn't have both so we compromised on a killer cat.

Later I found this image and thought it was hilarious. I think I'm exhausted or something because really, under normal circumstances, I don't think I would find this funny at all. I think I might even be annoyed by it.

I think one thing is obvious: I need sleep. Not to be cliche, but thank goodness it's Friday.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

One Item

If you were going on the show "Survivor" and could only bring one luxury item, what would it be? I think about this more often than I should admit, considering I would almost certainly be the first one voted off the show.

The problem with choosing is that I go back and forth between something noble, like scriptures, and something practical, like chapstick (which I'm addicted to) or Vaseline (which I use as a chapstick/lotion/cure for cuts and burns).

I looked up the rules. The show provides: contact solution, lady products (was that vague enough for the guys?), insect repellent, sunscreen and necessary medications. They do not provide toothpaste, tooth brushes, razors, or any other grooming supplies. Nasty.

So, what'll it be? If you could bring one noble item (picture of a loved one, religious item, etc) and one luxury item, what would the luxury item be? What's the thing you can't live without?

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Wednesday Thoughts

I have to tell you something but I'm afraid you're going to judge me. I feel like what I'm about to say makes me sound unAmerican. If you're ready for it, here's my secret: I'm tired of the Olympics. I know, I know, it's not cool to admit that. It was almost as hard to admit as the time I confessed that I don't like Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I'm not sure if you were ready to hear that or not, so I put it in small font to soften the blow.

It's not that I don't love America or supporting America's Olympians (especially the over 30 crowd), it's just that I miss a couple of my shows that are being preempted for the Olympics. I'm going through Thursday night must-see-tv withdrawals. (It would be so easy to backspace over that last sentence - and I know I probably should - but I can't keep secrets from you.)

You would think I'd be able to survive two weeks without my shows, wouldn't you? But they're winter weeks, which are so much longer than summer weeks.

Don't mind me, I've just been cooped up inside for three months. Last week it got really nice and sunny, then this week we had a ton of snow dumped on is. The good news is I got another snow day on Monday. The bad news is, my hope for an early spring was dashed.

Ok, time to move on to happier thoughts - thoughts that have nothing to do with me watching tv or being tired of winter. Here's something that might make you laugh. My friend Vaughn sent me this picture yesterday - it's a bumper sticker he saw that reminded him of me:

Thought you'd enjoy that. If that's your car, fess up. I won't judge you, I promise. I can't deny that that song is catchy. It's just better if I don't listen too closely or watch the video (so disturbing).

One last thing. See that "follow" button over there? Think you could click on it? I would love to know who's out there! I will return the favor.

Happy Wednesday!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

And now for the ladies

Since I did a post about what men like, I thought I'd do one for the women too! I know a lot more on this subject, but I also know that not all women like the same things as me. So ladies, feel free to slap me across the face and call me an anti-feminist if you must. Or kick me in the shins and call me a feminist if that's the way you're leaning. Just do it quickly. I bruise easily.

We like going to the bathroom together. It's a secret why we do this, and I'm really not allowed to tell you why (Ok, I'll tell you - we're talking about you).

We like talking about men. Most of these conversations consist of these staples, "I don't understand men," "what was he thinking?," and "he wasn't thinking." Ok, that's not totally true. You'll also hear a lot of "he's so cute" and "he's so sweet" and of course, "has he proposed yet?" (I just threw that in there to scare the guys who are reading.) We love men, we just don't always get them.

We like offering to pay for dinner and being told not to worry about it. No explanation needed on this. Honestly we don't mind paying for dinner. Buuuuuut, if you insist.

We like
shopping. Even if it's just a new pair of socks or a book. I think we're hard wired to shop. I had a friend who shopped all the time when she was stressed. When her brother asked her why, she said, "it's cheaper than therapy." I'm not sure if it actually was cheaper, but I accept her logic.

We like chocolate, and we like it in a major way. I read this quote the other day that I think helps explain why: "eating chocolate affects your brain similarly to falling in love." We like love too, so it makes sense to me.

We like it when you think we're younger than we are. Last night, without being asked, I was charged student ticket price at the movie theater and I almost kissed the 18 year old employee for making such an assumption. Of course, he probably just charges everyone who looks under 50 the student price, but still. I love him.

We like
Jane Austin. Even someone with a heart of stone (like myself) just can't resist Captain Wentworth or Mr. Darcy. {Sigh.} What can I say? We're suckers for Victorian "will they ever really get together?" stories. (Spoiler alert: they do.)

We like
it when you notice we got our hair done. Not noticing is not a major crime. But noticing will get you major brownie points!

We like
babies. I can't apologize for this. I love babies - those little toes and tiny fingers! So for the ladies, here's a trailer for the upcoming movie "Babies" which I really know nothing about. I just know that I suffered a serious case of cuteness overload when I first saw this trailer, and I bet you will too.

I hope it goes without saying that we like much deeper things as well, such as higher education, charity, and successful careers. But those just aren't as entertaining to blog about, so please don't be offended that I left them out.

Thursday, February 18, 2010


Hey guys, this post is just for you. Being a woman, I'm not exactly sure what men like to hear about but I got some ideas from comments from the last post and came up with a few of my own. Here's what I know about you.

You like: crazy reality shows like The Deadliest Catch and Dirtiest Jobs. So for your enjoyment, here is a list of some of the dirtiest jobs: 1) sewer cleaner 2) cow inseminator 3) fuel tank cleaner 4) porta potty cleaner 5) bat cave scavenger 6) hot tar roofer 7) chimney sweeper 8) avian vomitologist 9) cow hoof trimmer 10) Lake Erie water snake researcher. If you had to chose one of those, which would you choose?

You like: sports. I got nothing. But here's a link.

You like: weird trivia. So here's a little fact - the person who's balanced the most spoons on their face ever is this guy named Joe Allison. But here's what I didn't tell you - he was nine years old when he did it. And the number of spoons was 16. You can beat that. Here's a tip, use a lot of lotion on your face before attempting this.

You like: growing facial hair. I'm a fan of facial hair, but as far as mustaches go, I only like them on Magnum. But if you are going to grow a mustache, I double dog dare you to try one of these:

You like: toys and gadgets. What do you think of the 3-d t.v.? Would you ever own one? I can see watching some things on it, but I can't imagine watching Jeopardy in 3-d. It seems like overkill. Plus the idea of Alex Trebek popping out of my t.v. like he's in the same room with me is terrifying.

You like: comedies and action movies. I don't watch too many action movies but here are my top 5 comedies:
Any to add?

You like: cars and boats. So here's a question for you: which would you rather drive, the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile or this thing? You'd have to drive whichever one you choose for a whole year. This is non-negotiable.

You like: women. For those of you who like women, here are a couple tips. 1) If you want to approach a girl who's in a pack of girls, approach her. Her friends will (should) scatter. 2) A little cologne never hurts.

You like: acting manly. So here's a little clip for you - no warps. (Watch the clip to get that reference.)

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Wednesday Thoughts

My weekly jumble of mostly unrelated thoughts.

Have you guys been watching the Olympics at all? One of my favorite things about watching the Olympics is finding out that some of the Olympians are older than me. I find myself thinking, "Wow, she's 35? I still have time to learn how to ski and become an Olympian!" I've been practicing the pose I'll use on my Wheaties box cover. Here's a little sample of what's to come.

Yesterday was Fat Tuesday, and that means Paczki day in Michigan. If you've never had a paczki, they're basically like a jelly donut, only slightly heavier. I ate my weight in them yesterday and I only ate one. That should tell you something.

In other Wednesday Thoughts, yesterday on my way to work I heard a commercial on the radio for a special deal a plastic surgeon is offering. It's a two for one deal where you can choose from any of the following: nose job, eyes, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, or liposuction. It was the strangest two for one deal I've ever heard. But it made me wonder, do the eyes and breasts count as one or two?

So, a guy friend recently told me that he reads my blog but never comments. When I asked him why, he said something about how it's written from such a "feminine perspective" that he just has nothing to say. So I have decided to take a break from writing about menstrual cycles, panty hose, and lipstick and dedicate a post just to the guys who read my blog. Expect it later this week. I have a few ideas, but if any of you have any ideas what guys want to read about, let me know.

I wouldn't be surprised if the guys stopped reading as soon as they saw the words "menstrual cycles."

So ladies, now that it's just you and me, let's talk about girl stuff. So who do you like? Tell me all about him.

Happy Wednesday!

Monday, February 15, 2010


The number of readers who have voted for "If you mention Valentine's Day again, I'll break your fingers" in the poll. Thanks guys! Thanks a lot! (No, really, it did make me laugh.) Wait...does this count as mentioning it again?

Let's move on to a new holiday, hopefully one that will make you less angry. Happy Fat Tuesday? I'm not calling you fat, that's the name of the day.

I better just quit while I'm ahead.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

The Ball

One thing that single people are very aware of is "the ball." And by that I mean we're constantly questioning who's court it's in. I'm sure we've all said at some point, "Well, I told him I like his tie so the ball is in his court!" (Ok, usually it's not that lame.)

But truly, this is a problem for single people and I think lots of times relationships end prematurely because both people think the other person has the ball in their court and when it's never acted on, both feel rejected and move on.

Here are some scenarios. If you have any insights as to who's court the ball is in, I'd love to hear them.

1) The guy says, "we should get together sometime" but then doesn't follow up with an actual date.

Is it the girl's responsibility to follow up on that? Or is he just suggesting it to see if she'll agree so he can ask her out at a later date?

2) The man asks a woman on a date, she accepts, they go out once.

Should she ask him out next? Or should she wait for him to ask her out again?

3) You're at that beginning phase of something with that special person - you're not really sure if they like you or not, but there's been flirting on both sides. You e-mail them and they don't e-mail you back.

Are they not into you? Personally, I've been guilty of forgetting to e-mail a person back even if I liked their e-mail and like them. But at the same time, it's easy to think, "I guess they don't like me anymore" when this happens. What do you do?

4) Your friend tells you that that guy/girl thinks you're really great. That guy/girl knows that you know that they said that (did you follow that?). You think they're pretty sweet too.

Do you take that as a cue to ask them out? Do they expect you to since they know you know that they know that you know?(Kidding, I was trying to confuse you that time.)

Ok, now that I've posed these questions, it's time for you to comment. Seriously. The ball is in your court.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Single Awareness Day

Let me preface this by saying that I have no delusions about being in a relationship. I know relationships have their challenges and are not always pure bliss. I'm not trying to say in this post that single life stinks and relationships are perfect. Single life can be fun at times, and being in a relationship can have it's challenges.

Now that I have the disclaimer out of the way, let's move on.

As I have previously said, I like Valentine's Day. To me it's more about love in general than being in a relationship. But I've heard many friends call it "single awareness day" and I have to agree that as a single person Valentine's day sort of puts a capital S on single.

In honor of Single Awareness day, I thought I'd make a list of things that are not fun to do alone. I hope I don't sound bitter in this post (because I'm not) and I promise to end on a happy note. So without further ado, here's my list of things that stink to do alone!

Going to the movies - I did this once. I saw Harry Potter alone. All my friends had already seen it and I thought I was strong enough to go alone. I hated it. If you have ever done this successfully you'll have to let me know your secret. I knew a woman once who went to a movie alone and even though the theater was practically empty, a weird man came and sat in the seat right next to her. Not cool creepy guy, not cool.

Going out to eat - I actually do this from time to time and don't really mind it but I have several single friends who hate doing this and I guess I understand why.

Going on vacation
- I've heard of people doing this but I don't know how it's done. Do you hang out with people you meet while on vacation, or do you just spend all your time alone? I don't get it and I don't like the sounds of it.

Staying in and watching a movie
- Some things are just better done with a significant other, let's face it. I have two Snuggies and it's not right that one of them is available to be wadded up and used as a pillow while I'm wearing the other one.

Playing board games/cards/uno
(I find it ironic that a game called Uno can't be played alone but that's neither here nor there) - I played Monopoly by myself once and still lost. I swear I can't win that game to save my life.

Going to weddings/receptions/parties - I hate going to weddings by myself but at the same time I don't want to ask a date because I'm afraid he'll think I'm trying to give him some kind of subliminal message "marry me.... you want to marry me..." simply because I invited him to a wedding. Well, that and that fact that I sometimes whisper that on wedding dates. It hasn't worked yet but it will. Oh, it will.

Wow, that was creepy.

Ok, to even it out, here are things that are fun to do as a single person:

Watch Lifetime movie marathons
Read People magazine while eating a bowl of ice cream
Change your hair color without even thinking about if someone else will like it or not
Crush on every guy you meet
Wear both Snuggies at once
Not worry about doing something super special for your significant other on Valentine's Day
Buy yourself a heart shaped box of chocolates and eat them all

Am I missing any? (On either list?)

P.S. Thank you anonymous commenter, for the flowers. They are beautiful.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Wednesday Thoughts

My weekly jumble of mostly unrelated thoughts.

I went to a doctor on Monday and at the end of the appointment he said, "You're relatively young and in good health...." Was it really necessary to say "relatively"? I can't even remember what he said after that and it may have been important.

In other news, this week my office has been abuzz with snow day fever. The speculation for a snow day today started on Monday. At that point, I still wasn't sure if I wanted it or not (crazy as that sounds) as evidenced by this conversation I had with my co-worker, Ann:

Me: Well, it would be nice but then we'd have so much work to do on Thursday to catch up!
Ann (suspiciously): It sort of sounds like you don't want a snow day. It almost sounds like you're a .... work lover.
Me: Take it back!!

Yesterday as the snow was falling the words "snow day" were on everyone's lips. I was taken over by it too. Ann was getting progressively tense, thinking that by talking about it so much, we were jinxing it. Here is another conversation we had at one point in the day:

Me: So Ann, are you feeling snow day hope yet?
Ann: Yeah, but I've already gone through all the stages and now I'm angry that we're going to have to come in.

When you hear about the possibility of a snow day, it's impossible to get the idea out of your head no matter how hard you try. You know it's dangerous to get your hopes up but you can't shake the idea. You try not to think about how late you'll be able to sleep in, or all the time you'll be able to spend watching the Golden Girls and eating Lucky Charms while working on your FarmVille farm, but it's too late. You've got Snow Day Fever. (SDF) Some people though, like Ann, quickly cycle through the stages in an attempt to not get their hopes up. I think the stages go something like this:

Hope - it's totally going to happen! Snow day!
Fear - what if it doesn't happen? You're setting yourself up for disappointment.
Denial - there's no way we'll get enough snow.
Hope - but we might.
Anger - it'll never happen! Get it out of your head!!
Resignation: if it doesn't happen, I will survive.
Hope - it might happen.
Anger - stop thinking like that. You'll only get hurt.
Hope - I can't help it.

Some people rest on anger just for safety. Especially if they've been hurt by SDF before.

But it happened, we got a snow day today! Here I am at 10:00am lounging in bed, writing in my blog. Try not to hate me too much.

And lastly, in Wednesday thoughts, the votes are in for a possible hair change and it looks like numbers one and three are the winners. Any last opinions? My hair appointment is in a week and a half and I still haven't decided what to do.

Happy Wednesday!

Sunday, February 7, 2010

He thinks you're cute

You know who's really attractive? That guy (or girl) who thinks you're attractive. Isn't it the best thing to find out someone thinks you're attractive or likes you? I may not have noticed the guy before but suddenly I start to see him in a new light. Maybe I just admire his good taste in women. Or maybe it's the ego boost. Either way, I think it's interesting that just knowing someone likes you or thinks you're cute often makes you more interested in them.

I remember an episode of Full House (I'm not ashamed) where something like this happened. Here's what I remember of the conversation between Kimmy Gibbler and DJ.

Kimmy: What do you think if Tom Smansky?
DJ: He's ok.
Kimmy: Well, Kathy Santoni told me that he likes you!
DJ: TOM SMANSKY!? He's a fox!!
Kimmy: I thought you said he was just 'ok.'
DJ: That was before I knew he liked me!

Truer words have never been spoken, DJ.

Does this work for guys? If a guy finds out that a woman thinks he's hot, is he more interested in her? Here's a test for the guys. Pretend your friend is talking to you:

Hey! Guess what? Elizabeth told me that she thinks you are really hot. She even mentioned that it looked like you'd been working out. She doesn't even care that you're losing your hair. And yeah, she digs your mustache.

Did it work? Do I appeal to you more now? On second thought, don't answer that.

I'm not sure why that happens but I know I like it. And I have something to tell you. You know that guy or girl you work with or is in your class? They told me they think you're cute.

And the winner is...

Natalie!! Natalie, please send me your address at and I will have your specially made Valentine and candy in the mail by Tuesday!

Thank you all SO much for participating. I think I'll do another giveaway sometime - it was more fun than I expected. Please don't be too T.O.ed if you didn't win. There's always next time and just know this: I love you all.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Story Time

Last night after a lively 60th birthday party for my mom, I was wiped out. So I decided to lay down on the couch for a bit and rest. To my delight, my niece (5) and nephew (3) hopped on the couch to snuggle up with me. To keep them entertained I decided to tell them a story.

The first story that came to mind was Goldilocks and the 3 bears but they already knew that one and Paige took over telling it about half way through. So I went back in my memory bank and pulled up Hansel and Gretel. It had been awhile since I'd thought about that story and as I was telling it, I found myself increasingly uncomfortable with its contents.

My telling of it went something like this (parts in parenthesis are my thoughts):

Once upon a time there was a boy named Hansel and a girl named Gretel. Their parents were poor and decided to (uh oh, should I say this part?) um... get rid of them because they were too poor to feed them. Well...story goes on...bread made of turned out that the house belonged to a witch who wanted to (gulp - is this information going to do any permanant damage?) eat them. (Why does there have to be cannibalism in this story?!)

So, the kids stay there as her slaves...she fattens them on and so forth... but when the witch wasn't paying attention, (oh boy...) they pushed her into the oven and burned her alive. (How is that ok to tell to kids!?)

But neither kid seemed the slightest bit disturbed. In fact, Paige told me that she heard a different version in school and she wanted to tell it to me. In her version, the kids pushed the witch into a cauldron so they could eat her. I said, "I don't think they wanted to eat her, I think they wanted to run to freedom." She just said, "Oh, yeah." At the end of Paige's story, the evil step mother was eaten by crocodiles. Paige seemed very happy with this ending, clearly feeling that justice had been served.

And here I thought my version would scare them. I guess I know nothing about kids. Either that or kids are ok with cannibalism. I guess I'd better watch my back.

*Don't forget, there's still one more day to enter the giveaway below!

Friday, February 5, 2010

Valentine's Day Giveaway

I've never done a giveaway before. To be honest, I don't even really understand them. But I thought it might be kind of fun to give it a try anyway. See what all the hype's about.

So here's my idea - I would love to send (or give, if you live nearby) one of you a Valentine's Day card and candy. The card will be handmade and personalized, and the candy will be a candy of your choice. This could go to a guy or a woman! (Of course when it comes to dating, I'm interested in men but this giveaway isn't about dating, it's just about spreading the love on Valentine's Day!)

If you are interested in winning, tell me a couple things you love in honor of Valentine's Day! They can be silly or serious. And please include your favorite kind of candy. You have till Sunday night at 10:00, EST. I will announce the winner that night.

If you want to re-gift the candy to your significant other, you can tell me their favorite kind of candy. I'll never know. Maybe I'll even personalize the card for them if you ask nicely although I'm not writing a sappy poem so don't push your luck.

I hope to get the package in the mail to the winner by Tuesday. I hope this interests some of you! Who couldn't use some love on Valentine's Day?

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Wednesday Thoughts

As a single person, I am morally obligated to be against Valentine's Day. If I admit that I like Valentine's Day, I'm betraying my kind. But secretly, I kind of like it. I like walking into Target and seeing red and pink everywhere. I like thinking about things I love too. True, I don't have that one special person to love but I'm not bitter (please read that sentence in the most sarcastic "I actually am bitter" voice you can think of).

Saying the word "bitter" triggered the irritable part of my brain so I need to voice (pen?) a quick complaint, if you don't mind. I have been really stressed out about doppelganger week on Facebook. I have no doppelganger. And I don't dare ask people, "what famous person do you think I look like?" because what if they say Danny DeVito or something like that? Some things are better to not know (see previous post for more on that). The one famous person I have ever been told I look like is Angelica from the Rugrats. I don't see the resemblance, but I suppose it could be worse.

Will you indulge me in some very girlish stuff for a second here? It won't take long. Guys, you can tune out if you want, although I'd like to hear your opinions too. I'll make this quick. I want to change my hair color but I'm not sure what to do. I've been highlight/low lighting it forever and want a change. I asked my hairstylist what color my natural color is (because I have no idea) and she said it's medium blond with a tiny bit of red. But in the winter it looks darker than that. Boring.

So I went to one of those "see what you'd like like with a different hair color" websites and this is what I found. I was supposed to take a picture of myself head-on with my hair pulled back but really didn't feel like doing that. So all of these pictures show this dang rogue curl coming down my shoulder. Try to ignore that. Here are the results:

Any opinions? Oh, and if you were wondering, that's my nephew on my lap. Poor little guy probably wishes he had nothing to do with this post. I can relate.

Happy Wednesday.

P.S. Happy birthday, Mom!