Monday, June 23, 2014


Last night I had an altercation with a wooden gate. As I was shutting it, I walked away from it and it grabbed hold of the back of my ankle and left a huge gash on it. I knew immediately that this was the kind of wound I wouldn't want to see. So I just limp-ran inside, grabbed a wet paper towel and applied pressure.

The pain was intense. I knew it was bleeding profusely and I couldn't bare to look at it. So I didn't, for as long as possible. I just kept applying pressure to it, and switching out the paper towels. When I finally did see it, it was worse than I imagined.

Here's the part where evil people would post a picture of it. But I won't do that because I'm not cruel! I do, however, have a picture of it on my phone so if you want to see it, let me know.

My first thought when I looked at the gash was this:

Guys, here's the thing - it's not THAT bad. I mean, it's gross and it's painful but it's not horrible. It might need stitches but I don't know and I honestly don't think I could survive the process.

One thing this has taught me is that I'm a HUUUUUGE baby when it comes to seeing my own blood. If someone else is bleeding and needs help, I'm ready and able! But seeing my own blood? I can't handle it!

I put a fresh bandage on it this morning and when I went to check on it a little bit ago, it had bled through the bandage and my sock. For about 20 minutes afterward I thought I was either going to throw up or faint.

This is a side of myself I didn't know about. It's not just the blood - it's the pain and the blood. A lethal combination which is turning me into a three year old. (It took five tries for me to spell lethal correctly.)

Is anyone else out there a baby about seeing their own blood?

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Wednesday Thoughts

Yesterday while on Pinterest looking for ideas for Girls Camp (besides fake poop... speaking of which, someone asked me yesterday how I plan on even using the fake poop - the options are so limitless I didn't even know where to begin!), I came across this image:

This just totally baffled me. There were comments under it like, "these are SO cute!" Huh? I just sat there with the most confused look on my face. Why would anyone think writing "Mormon" on their butt was a "cute" idea? Maybe I'm missing something. I sent the image to my friend Jesse to get his reaction. I blocked out his name on this exchange because he has a fake Facebook name because he's in the witness relocation program (oops, I think that was supposed to be a secret). This conversation shows why I shouldn't have brought it to a guy for a reaction, expecting his reaction to match my own:

This morning I started composing my shopping list for camp. It looks something like this:

extra toothbrushes
fake ants
construction paper
monster cutouts
joke underwear for raising up flag pole (??)
hair bands for braiding
fake mice

I'm not going to tell you how old I am but let's just say I'm on the wrong side of 30. And I still think this stuff is hilarious.

In other Wednesday Thoughts, I made a huge mistake yesterday. I got home from work, made some dinner, and thought I'd lay down for a half hour to an hour, tops. I was feeling really sleepy and my allergies were bad. This was around 6:30. When I finally woke up and checked my clock after my nap, it was 11:45!!!!! Suffice it to say the rest of my night was a total mess. I got up at that point and did the dishes, cleaned a bit, showered, watched a Brady Bunch marathon, tried to sleep, couldn't sleep, watched some more Brady Bunch. Thought about how annoying Jan Brady is, pondered which was a better  Brady vacation - Hawaii or Grand Canyon?, decided to write a blog post about that at some point, tried to sleep again, finally fell asleep, woke up a half hour later.

And here I am.

Happy Wednesday!

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Girls Camp Prep

This morning I sent a packing list to the girls from church who are going to camp next week - it included things like, "bug spray, swimsuit, soap, shampoo, two towels, etc..." My personal list, however, is a bit longer. I checked several items off when I hopped on Amazon this morning:

While camping with friends a couple summers ago, my sister had us fill out some Mad Libs. Of course, we offered mature words to fill in the blanks like: senator, apartheid, Shakespeare, and Benghazi.

I'm kidding of course. This was our best Mad Lib sentence:

TOTALLY WORKS! We died laughing. I'm sure our tent sounded like a loony bin from the outside.

My theory on life is this: If you can have fun, do. Of course, not every situation is meant to be fun. But girls camp is definitely a place for fun!

What are some things that make camping fun for you?? (Besides being one with nature, blah blah blah.)

Oh, also, if you go camping in Michigan, watch out for the Dog Man.

Totally real.
He's been spotted several times which means he's gotta be real. And how do I know he's a he? Because dogs are boys and cats are girls. Oh gosh, I just realized it'd be such a missed opportunity if I didn't make a couple of black cardboard cutouts of the Dog Man to tape to the outside of windows at night......

I have a lot to do to get ready for camp.