Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Fountain of Youth

I'm getting older. I can see it in my eyes. I'm getting lines around them. I start thinking about my options: anti-aging cream, botox, or aging "gracefully."

A few years ago, I ran into an old friend. Or not so much a friend, rather, someone I used to know. When she saw me, her eyes widened and she said, "Wow. You look older." What else could I say but, "Thanks a lot." Backtracking quickly, she said, "No, I just mean that you've always had a baby face but now you look your age."

Again, thanks.

My dad's mom used to always say she was a young person trapped in an old lady's body. That's me. (I wish there was such a thing as a sarcasm text. I hope you all know me well enough by now to know that I'm half joking.)

For the most part I don't mind being the age I am. There are parts of it that are more stressful than others. Some are serious worries and some are less serious. In general I don't usually feel too "old" and I don't try to look or act younger than I am.

But I really don't like what's happening to my eyes. I was talking about this at a family gathering on Satuday and my uncle said, "Let me see." He looked at my face and told me to smile. Then he gave me his diagnosis, "those are just smile lines, not crows feet."

So there it is. My punishment for being happy: wrinkles.

But the thing is, no matter how bad the smile lines get I know I don't have it in me to actually get Botox. I just don't think I'm a Botox kind of girl. I've even found myself actually looking up websites about Botox injections (I like the before and after pictures) but it always leaves me thinking, "I'm never going to actually do I?" But I'm not. I think I just use it as a way to threaten my skin, "if you don't stop aging, you're going to pay." My skin probably knows it's an idle threat but I keep trying to scare it into behaving anyway.

My hairstylist, who's the same age as me, gets Botox injections every 4-6 months and has tried to talk me into doing the same. But aren't we too young to start doing that so often? If you're doing that every 4-6 months at age 30, can you imagine how much Botox will be in your system by the time you're 60!?

I think my best option is to stop the aging in process in nonsurgical ways. First matter of business: no more smiling, laughing, or doing anything else to deepen my smile lines. That includes giggling. Muffled laughing is ok as long as I don't move my face at all.

Ok, now I did not write this post so you would tell me I don't look old so please don't feel any obligation to do so. The whole post is somewhat tongue in cheek (with a little truth to it). If any of you feel the same way about laugh lines or Botox or have any tips, feel free to share! But don't write anything funny in the comments - remember, no more laughing.


Christi said...

I have the same worry about botox. Can we really start this young and keep it up? And isn't it expensive? But don't worry, you don't look a day over 20!

Melanie said...

I don't know much about botox, but just don't get collagen injections. Those are creepy.

I still trying to get people to think I'm older than 17... Bring on the wrinkles!

David and Linda said...

Maybe you could watch Mary Poppins in the "I Love to Laugh" song. I think Mary does a good muffled, non-eye-wrinkling laugh there. No surgery and no Botox!

sterlingandbrandi said...

I'm stressing too about the lines. I worked at a plastic surgeons though and got free botox. Supposedly you are trying to prevent wrinkles (vs. really treating that much of them) so technically you should start young. But its super expensive. I just like it for preventing the frown line between the brows. I mostly just can't get over the maintenance and cost - so I haven't done it since I quit the doc's office.

Katherine said...

Do what the actors do and, when you think you're going to laugh, think of dead puppies. Terrible, I know, but you've gotta think sad in order to avoid Botox! I'm still sort of 50/50 on Botox, actually. Part of me thinks it might not be a bad idea, the other part knows I'll never actually do it. I think becoming a cave-dweller is a logical answer - no squinting in the sun, and the darkness would be far from funny.

Kwo Ling said...

My skin aged like 5-10 years on my mission. But, dude, if you stop laughing, then you really will be an old person.

Elizabeth Downie said...

Haha, very good point Melanie. I'll never be able to stop laughing anyway. It was just another idle threat. ;)

AMy said...

i totally wish that there was such a thing as sarcasm text ... we should create it and retire early off of it!! and this doesn't suggest that you are near the retirement age ;)

John Hicks said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! You? Stop smiling? That'll never happen! I wouldn't worry about anything like that if I were you. You look great!!!