My grandma is going to be 90 years old in January. She recently told my mom that she feels like her body is starting to shut down in her advancing age. She also said that she hopes to live long enough to see me, her oldest granddaughter, get married (no pressure).
This is definitely not the first time I've heard this from her. I really don't mind when she says it because I know she means it in a sweet way - she cares about me and wants me to be happy.
As I was thinking about what she said, I realized that this situation would make a good movie. Well, it would make a good made-for-t.v. movie at least. But depending on what channel it was on, the story could be interpreted very differently.
For example, if it were on the Lifetime channel, it would have a name like, "A Grandmother's Wish." This movie would involve me meeting a handsome gardener or childhood friend while staying at my grandma's house to care for her. It would definitely end with the gardener/childhood friend and I getting married, but since it's a Lifetime movie, it would also end with my grandmother's death. I can't have that. Let's explore some other options.
ABC Family: In this movie, I would hire someone to play my fiance to appease my grandma. There would be all sorts of minor conflicts, such as a snoopy sibling discovering that the guy I hired isn't really my fiance and almost ruining everything. There would also be a moment where I'd wonder if I was doing the right thing, toying with everyones emotions. This moment would come when I see my "fiance" laughing and bonding with my family, then making meaningful eye contact with me. This movie would end well, with us actually falling in love in getting married. Oh, and it would be starring either James Franco or Ryan Reynolds as the fiance. I would play myself, and my grandma would probably be played by Betty White. (The more I read this synopsis, the more I think I've already seen this movie in several different forms.)
Disney channel: Because I'm ancient in Disney years, in this movie I would be marrying for a second time, after having my heart broken by my first husband and becoming fiercely independent. Selena Gomez, Disney's sweetheart, would probably have to be in the movie, and sadly, they'd probably cast her as my daughter. She and my grandma, who would be played by Julie Andrews, would scheme to help me find love. They'd succeed. Dangit, I just realized that because it's the Disney channel, my love interest would probably be Billy Ray Cyrus. Oh well.
Clearly the best option is the Family channel version. Well, the best option would probably be actually getting married, but until then I'll see what I can do about getting this movie made. First matter of business: does anyone have Ryan Reynolds' phone number? I just want to know if he's available. For the movie, that is.
Some of my favorites from Summer 2015
1 month ago