Crunch

When you work in a shared office space, you  get to spend a lot of time with other peoples eating habits. From the smelly to the crunchy, food becomes a shared experience in an office whether intentional or not.

I, myself, am not blameless. It's not uncommon for me to feel it necessary to apologize to those sitting nearest to me about the smell of a hard boiled egg, or the loud crunching of celery sticks. I think my worst offense so far was my brief stint with microwaveable bacon. That won me many enemies as the smell drove people wild with jealousy and cravings. Though I miss the candy of meats, I chose friendships and office harmony over the occasional blt.

Besides the foods I've already mentioned there are a few others I try to avoid in the office. Anything with a strong odor such as fish, or anything with a really loud crunch, such as popcorn. In fact, popcorn, it seems, is one of the loudest foods out there and can make people around you feel like this:

Not that I've ever felt that way.

What are some foods you prefer not to have a shared experience with?

Partyin' Partyin' Yeah!

I used to love Fridays. And of course, I thought my love of Fridays was impenetrable. I mean, what could ruin Friday!? The last work day of the week - the start of the weekend! But one girl is trying her hardest to get me to dread Fridays. Who is it, you ask? I bet you already know. HER:

She's not the devil. But her song is. It's been proven.

Yep, Rebecca Black. Yesterday I was feeling excited about how today is Friday and that wretched song came into my head. I started thinking "yesterday was Thursday. Today it is Friday..." I mentioned it to Justin and he said, "I've never heard of it." I thought he was kidding, but he wasn't. So of course, I made him listen to it. If I'm going down, I'm going to drag him down too. That's what friends are for. After the first 30 seconds he said he couldn't take it anymore. I then made him watch two parodies of it.

I'm sure some day I won't think about it when Friday rolls around. I'm starting to get worried though because I first heard that "song" several weeks ago and it's only growing stronger. Maybe I'll try to replace it with something less annoying, like the Macarena. Or Who Let the Dogs out.

But today is not just any Friday! It's the royal wedding! At my office, this is how we are celebrating the special day. By looking at Kate and William every time we use the bathroom.

Someone at work decorated the generic male/female forms on the
bathroom doors to honor the special day.

How are you celebrating the royal wedding? And confess: who got up at 4:00 (or stayed up till 1:00 or 2:00 if you're out west) to watch the wedding? That would not be me. I need my beauty rest. As for me, I plan on congratulating them every single time I use the bathroom. Well, Kate, anyway since I doubt I'll be heading in Will's direction at any point.

What about you? Do any of you care about it?

Wednesday Thoughts

You know what's on my mind today? Buds. Leafy tree buds to be precise. This is the time of spring I most look forward to - when the leaves come back. It's one of the few things I love about spring. As far as ranking the seasons goes, my list looks like this:

Yay!

1. Summer
1. Fall
- summer and fall are tied because they're both awesome-
3. Spring - I don't trust it.
4. Winter. In last place, obviously.

But the thing spring really has going for it is the leaves. Winter in Michigan is so bleak at times. By March, we are aching for green grass and green trees again. This week I've finally started seeing buds on all the trees and it is making me so happy!

In other Wednesday Thoughts, yesterday my co-worker, Justin, and I had an interesting conversation. I turned to him while he was trying to work and asked, "Justin, if you knew you were going to die tomorrow, what would you want for dinner tonight?" After discussing the pros and cons of various foods and meals, he settled on a BLT sandwich and potato salad, with ice cream for dessert.

I chose pizza for dinner with chocolate cake and ice cream for dessert. Pizza isn't necessarily my favorite food ever, but I love it and I always feel guilty about the calories. In this case, that obviously wouldn't be a concern! For lunch, I'd have soup and crispy bread. And for breakfast, eggs and hash browns. It all sounded so good that by the time were done discussing all our options, I said to him, "Dang, I wish I were dying tomorrow." He made me take it back.

What would you want for your last meal(s) if you knew you were going to die tomorrow? Just pretend you were in some kind of alternate reality where dying tomorrow was no big deal and you still totally had your appetite. Otherwise this question is super morbid.

Lastly, I saw Insidious earlier this week. It was pretty scary. I wrote about it over here (link) if you'd like to read my review. I thought I'd start a little movie blog. To be honest, I don't see myself updating it too often, but you never know. I go to great lengths to avoid exercising sometimes.

Happy Wednesday!

Floating away

I like crushes. This is no secret to you guys, I'm sure. I'm kind of a flirt, I like men, and I get crushes from time to time.  I've even blogged about my love of crushes in the past. What I don't love is when a crush passes over into the "feelings" zone without any warning. I like when things happen in the natural order:

1. Girl meets boy

2. They go on a date

3. Crush forms

4. They get to know each other

5. Feelings develop

When things go in that order, it's awesome and exciting. What I don't like is when I think I just have an innocent crush, but realize I'm actually (unexpectedly) experiencing "feelings." I'm walking along, thinking everything's under control, then suddenly I think about a guy and my heart starts racing with lovey dovey feelings? Um, not cool!

It's kind of exciting, but it's mostly really scary. Here's an illustration:

One of the last times this happened to me, that's exactly what it felt like. Powerless. Luckily, the guy did something kinda jerky the next day and the feelings/crush balloon deflated, bringing me safely back to earth.

Do any of you single readers feel this way?

No lectures on how I need to get over this if I ever want to get married, please. Condescending comments will make me raise my fist to the computer in rage and mutter under my breath which just makes me look like a crazy person. And that's not good for anyone.

(Nor is it moving me any closer to marriage, let's be honest.)

Note: Because a couple people asked, I wrote my distinction between a crush and feelings in the comments section. Please feel free to add how you would define them if you are interested!

Not that Elizabeth Downie

When I was a kid, I saw a terrifying movie called Anna to the Infinite Power. It was about human cloning, a concept that has always given me the heebie jeebies.

In the movie, a girl named Anna finds out that she is a clone and that her parents had always known this. She also learns that there are five other Anna clones out there. She discovers this after she sees one of them on the news talking about a plane crash that she had survived.

As a kid, I hated this movie. Not only was it creepy, but it bummed me out that Anna wasn't her own person. She was afraid of fire because the original Anna was. She was good at the piano because the original Anna was, and so on.

I guess it's always been important to me to be unique, which is why when I first joined Facebook and searched my name to see if there were any others, I was disappointed to see sooo many Elizabeth Downie's listed. Luckily, a cursory glance assuaged my fears of being part of a cloning experiment since none of them looked at all like me.

I actually met another Elizabeth Downie once. She went to the same college as me. After talking for a few minutes we realized that besides having the same name, we really had nothing else to talk about. I think she was still holding a grudge against me for for canceling her dorm housing when it was accidentally mailed to me. Other than that, she seemed like a nice girl.

Recently, however, I found out about an Elizabeth Downie who is undeserving of the name. The way I found out about her was from an email I received from someone in Melbourne, Australia, who reads my blog. I responded to his email and asked him how he stumbled upon my blog. In his response, this is what he said:

"Unfortunately I stumbled across your blog while researching a story on a woman of the same name who killed her husband last year in Melbourne."

He found my blog because a woman named Elizabeth Downie killed her husband.

Please tell me none of you found my blog the same way?

Oh, and PS, I'm not that Elizabeth Downie.

Peep Show - Diorama Style

You may remember this from previous years, but every year my family does a Peep diorama competition. This year I decided to base mine on the viral video "Bed intruder" from the Autotune the News guys. I've always had a moral conflict laughing at this video, so please don't judge me. Admittedly, the topic isn't funny at all, but the autotune guys made it quite a phenomenon last summer!

In case you haven't seen the video, here it is:

In case you were wondering, I didn't win.

Happy Easter!

Would you rather

Take a truth serum and spend an hour answering questions from a panel of random people in your life (chosen from among your family, your coworkers, your ex boyfriends/girlfriends, people you know from church, people who don't really like you all that much... You have no say who's on the panel.)

or

Let those same people see you naked. (No streaking.)

Things to consider:

That thing you did
That one time
That thing you're afraid of
Your real weight
Your real age
That guy you like
That weird growth
That show you like
That non-funny embarrassing moment
What you look like naked
Who might be present

Which do you choose, and why?

Wednesday Thoughts

This would be bad.

You know what I was going to write about today? I was going to make a list of things I could never explain to a martian in the case of an alien invasion. But as I started writing the list, I realized I really couldn't explain much to an alien at all, and quite frankly, I don't need everyone judging me for not totally and completely understanding electricity or how a phone works.

In the case that aliens do invade, we should probably decide now who our representative is going to be so we don't get stuck with someone like me. (Am I the first person to think of this!?) The volunteer representative would be sort of a host, with a badge and a basic knowledge of things like where our leader is, how things work, and how to avoid being probed, among other things.*

But I digress. Since I won't let you judge me for the many, many things I couldn't explain to a martian in this post, I'll give you something else to judge me about. Namely, my secret love of cheesy movies.

When people ask me what my favorite movie is, I usually have to think about it for awhile. The situation goes something like this:

Person: What's your favorite movie?
Me (internal dialogue): "It's a three way tie between For Richer or Poorer, Bride of Boogedy, and Free Willy.**"
Me (out loud): "Maybe Inception?"

Best case scenario: Sister Act III?

The other day I was talking to a friend about my boyfriend quiz, and he mentioned another option I hadn't listed: becoming a nun. We don't have nuns in my faith though, so that wouldn't work out. I did point out to him, however, that I liked the idea because, hello!? Sister Act!!

To my surprise, my friend didn't share my love of Sister Act and attempted to make fun of me for liking it! I say attempted because, duh, that movie is awesome.

Anyway, I confessed some of my embarrassing favorite movies - what are some of yours?

Happy Wednesday!

* Confession: I wrote this post really late at night and was slightly slap happy. In case that's not blindingly obvious.

**One of those isn't really my favorite movie. I won't say which but I will say whichever one it is didn't make the cut because all the stuff with the orca was just really stressful.

I assume

You know what they say about people who assume? That they shouldn't do it. (That's what they say, right?)

On my way home from work yesterday, the Weezer song "Island in the Sun" came on the radio. It got me thinking about how I pretty much just assume everyone likes Weezer. I'm sure that can't be right, yet I can't remember meeting anyone who doesn't like them. And that's usually the first thing I ask someone when I meet them.

There are lots of things I assume though, and when my assumptions are wrong, I'm always caught off guard.

I think I've told you guys this story before (that's how strongly it's impacted me), but I remember a time when I found out a friend of mine didn't like pizza. Pizza! This was a guy I thought I knew. Suddenly I had no idea who he was. Didn't like pizza!? Why?  I had so many questions. He answered them all with a shrug.

Here are some other things I assume.

Things I assume everyone likes:

Weezer
Pizza
Ice cream
Summer
Flowers
The Beatles

Things I assume everyone dislikes:

Nazis
Papaya
Ohio State
Chupacabras
Perez Hilton and Paris Hilton
Lady ghosts*
The word "phlegm"

I assume some of you are up in arms right now about something on my list. I assume I'll get some angry comments. I assume I'll enjoy them.

What are some things you assume?

*Some people have asked about this, so to clarify, lady ghosts = female ghosts. They're scarier than male ghosts. I don't know why. I just know it's true.

Boyfriend Quiz

The other day something happened that I really don't feel like divulging in this forum, but which led to the following conversation with my coworker, Justin:

Me: As far as I see it, I have two options at this point: spinsterhood or arranged marriage.
J: Do you like cats?
Me: Not really.
J: Looks like it's an arranged marriage.

I don't want to sound bitter or anything because I'm not, but why does dating have to be so hard!? (That sentence should get more whiny as it goes, for the record.) But the more I thought about things, the more I started thinking that there has to be a better way. An easier way.

There are certain things I look for in a guy. Namely, there has to be some level of attraction (don't argue with me, you know it's true - but attraction is very unpredictable and comes in many forms), he must be nice to me, and we have to have a decent personality match. For me to marry him, he needs to be of the same faith as me. If I meet a guy who seems to fit those things, maybe I'll just give him this quiz to see if we should continue. If he passes, he can be my boyfriend, if he so chooses.

Oh, also, he'll be hooked up to a polygraph while he's taking this quiz. See, I told you there had to be a simpler way! What could be more simple than this!?

Wouldn't it be nice if it were that easy?

(I realize this would exclude some awesome guys. This quiz is just meant to be amusing. Although, there are a couple questions on the quiz that are non-negotiable. You can probably guess what those would be.)

Pedestrians

When I was in college, there was this guy I'd sometimes see walking around campus. Or rather, I'd hear him walking around campus then see him. He'd walk around with his headphones in, singing along as loudly as he could. Every time I'd see him, I'd get really scared. Who is that uninhibited!? I'll tell you who: psychopathic murderers. That's who.

Recently I encountered another pedestrian singer. I was on a walk in a residential area and I heard something strange in the distance. Some kind of ruckus. As I got closer, I realized it was a man walking along, singing/rapping at the top of his lungs. I knew for sure that if I got too close to him, my days on this earth were limited. Luckily he turned at the next block (either he's an easily distracted murderer or he was on his way to his victim's house).

Isn't it sad that just because someone is uninhibited and feeling the music, I assume the worst? I don't know why those people scare me. I guess I just think if they're ok with flouting society's norms to that extent, who knows where they draw the line!?

From the safety of my car however, I find pedestrian crazies amusing and harmless. Today as I was driving home from work, I saw a man walking down the street playing air piano. And when I say playing air piano, I mean, really getting into it. Thrashing his head about, pounding the keys like nobody's business, stepping on the pedals, everything. I don't know what he was playing but it had soul. Think Mike from Friends.




And a few months ago, I saw a guy walking around all normal like, when he suddenly kicked his leg up over his head and then kept on walking! Like nothing had happened!

What about you? What's the craziest thing you've seen a pedestrian do?

Wednesday Thoughts

I'm glad you guys enjoyed the first installment of "why you're not married." I say "first" because another friend  begged me to write about him next and I'm pretty sure I caved. So far I've been able to resist everyone else who's asked.

But seriously, what the heck!? I honestly can't believe so many people want to be roasted in this fashion. I don't have it in me to actually be mean so if I do keep doing these, they're going to be tongue-in-cheek like the last one. After all, I know a lot more about Vaughn that I could have put in that post but didn't. In fact, he was surprised I didn't use all the ammo I have on him. This was part of his response to his post:

"It was a good laugh.  I thought you were going to stab a little bit harder or a little bit deeper.  I was disappointed with the pain level.... much too low."

Which reminds me, if you haven't read the comments to his post, you should. Both Vaughn and his motorcycle commented. Yes, his motorcycle. I believe my point has been proven.

In other Wednesday Thoughts, it was 83 degrees on Sunday! Of course, that didn't last and the temps have since dropped at least 20 degrees, but that one day was glorious. My friends and I grilled outside to celebrate - a perfect way to spend the first warm day of the year. However, when night came, the warmer temperatures presented a problem I'm not used to.

See, in the winter, I sleep with approximately one million blankets covering me. And no matter how cold it is, I like to have a fan on too. I feel cozy in a cold room, all snuggly under umpteen pounds of blankets and quilts. But that night, it was too warm for that. So I slept with just a sheet and a couple of my lightest blankets. It was weird to have so little weight on me as I slept. I remember half-awake thoughts throughout the night like, "What's on me? Cotton balls? Clouds? Feathers??" This confusion led to weird dreams.

In case you're having a hard time visualizing this, here are a couple fab drawings I did to illustrate:

Winter sleeping



Sunday night



The drawings of the blankets are to scale. Oh, and I really do look that good when I'm sleeping, in case you were wondering. It's hard to look stunning while in a deep sleep but what can I say? It comes naturally.

I promise I'll stop subjecting you to my "art" soon (that's a lie - I've started and I can't stop). Anyway, now that the temperatures are slowly on the rise, what are some summery things you're doing for the first time this year?

Happy Wednesday.

Bonus Feature: Why You're Not Married.

I know I said I wouldn't tell any of you why you're not married, but my friend Vaughn convinced me that he can handle it. He agreed to my non retaliation clause, so I decided I'd do it. Still, at first I was worried it might hurt his self esteem, so I mentioned that to him. This was his response:

"What self esteem?  Oh, the self esteem I have that could cover a half a dozen guys? Well if it is a severe blow I will only have enough for a FEW extra people....which is still sufficient for me....and a few other lacking guys. Plus it comes back each time I take a good look in the mirror."

I guess I didn't need to worry. A little background about Vaughn: He came to Michigan a few years ago to do an internship and we became friends. We live on opposite sides of the country now but remain good friends. In fact, his is the phone that forces me to hear my voice echoed back (grrrrr). Vaughn has many great qualities (just ask him to list some and he'd be happy to), but this isn't about those qualities. So without further ado, Vaughn, this is why you're not married.

1. You're a complete wild man who may not live to see 30 because of your risks. There were so, so, so many pictures I could have used to show this wild side, but I chose these six:

1. Acting like a wild man on a stationary bike.

2. With a gun.

3. Doing something crazy I don't understand but I know is crazy.

4. Motorycle.

5. Getting pulled over.

6. Driving 110 mph. 

2. You refuse to commit to even the smallest of things.

When Vaughn lived in Michigan, we often had conversations like this:

Me: Are you going to the thing Friday night?
Vaughn: I don't know yet. Maybe.
Me: Why maybe? Do you have something else going on?
Vaughn: No, so far I don't.
Me: What do you mean 'so far'? Are you going to make other plans?
Vaughn: No, but something might come up.
Me: So you're waiting to see if you get a better offer?
Vaughn: No, I just don't want to say 'yes' in case something comes up. Then you'll get mad if I cancel.
Me: What? I won't get mad! If something comes up just explain it to me and it'll be fine! Just commit to coming, and it's no big deal if you have to cancel.
Vaughn: I might go.
Me: UUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!

3. You will never love a woman as much as you love your motorcycle.

Romantic pictures of his motorcycle in scenic places.

I have heard Vaughn refer to his motorcycle as "she," as in "she has expensive taste." Should I mention that he has a separate credit card for her?

4. You rank Joe Dirt among your short list of role models.

I can't tell which is the real Joe Dirt.

5. You're a handful. It's as simple as that. You fill up my voicemail if I don't answer the phone, you spam my facebook with 99 notifications in one night just to be obnoxious, you push my buttons to make me mad, you think it's fun to have an enemy, and most importantly, your heart isn't sure which to love more: guns or motorcycles.

And that, my friend, is why you're not married. Or at least, part of the story.

Brraaaaaiiiiins

Ok, so someone unfollowed my blog today. Which one of you was it? Was it because I made you choose between tv and your cell phone? Look, these decisions aren't binding! There's no reason to freak out.

But anyway, I can be strong. This isn't the end of the world. I'd say crying for three hours is a reasonable response and now I'm ready to move on. (Please know no tears were actually shed, I promise. I just had dust in my eye.)

Now to move on to the point of this post. Art. Specifically, my art. Many of you know that my sister, Katherine, is quite the artist. She has sold paintings, been commissioned to do more paintings, is getting her masters degree in painting, and is all around a pretty talented gal. But what you don't know is that she's not the only one in the family with drawing skillz.

The other day, Katherine and I were chatting, and she mentioned a place called Brains, which is in the city where she lives. I guess I was only half listening (sorry, Katherine), because I suddenly backed up and said, "Wait, 'Brains'? Is it a Halloween store?" She said, "No, it's an actual medical place." I said, "Well, it doesn't sound like a legit medical place. It sounds like a Halloween theme store." And I quick-like drew up a few sketches of what they might have on their store sign.

Now keep in mind, I am not making fun of the actual medical place, since I know nothing about it. I'm sure they do wonderful work and don't deserve to be mocked. I simply think the name of the place is amusing and odd. Halloween monsters popped into my mind because it seems like they're all the time hobbling around yelling "Braaaiiiinnnsss!"

Dang, I'm going to lose more followers from this aren't I?

Anyway, which do you think would be the best drawing on the front of a place called Brains? (Think of it as a Halloween store called Brains so you are less offended. I will do the same so I feel less offensive.)




I often get my monsters mixed up. The one above is supposed to be Frankenstein. Katherine reminded me that he doesn't want to eat brains, he just wants a brain. Also, his bolts go in his neck, not on his head like ponytails. My bad.

This is a zombie looking for brains to eat. Duh.

This picture requires no explanation.  

This is something straight out of a horror movie, especialy because of how life like it is, right? It's just a Halloween decoration, not real, so don't be scared, ok?

Would You Rather

give up:

TV for one year,

or

your cell phone for one year?

Things to consider:

For the tv:
You can't watch tv shows on the internet either.
You can't watch youtube (or other) clips from shows you like (or don't like).
You can't watch movies on your tv.
You can watch movies in the theater.

For the cellphone:
You can use a land line.
If you need to use a cellphone for work, you may use it for work purposes only.

Which do you choose, and why?

Karma

I remember this time when I was a kid and my brother and sisters and I had a baby-sitter. I was laying in bed (supposed to be asleep) when the baby-sitter came upstairs to check on us. I lied and told her I didn't feel well and that the only thing that would make me feel better would be a cup of root beer. She fell for it and I drank my root beer triumphantly.

Later that night I woke up feeling sick for real. I was miserable - my stomach hurt, I was throwing up - the whole thing. When I got back into bed after all that, I wondered, "had I gotten sick because I lied?" I knew I had. I just knew that had to be what happened. Was it God punishing me? The universe? My parents (though they didn't even know about the lie)? I didn't know. But I knew in my 10 year old heart that because I lied about being sick, I got sick for real.

Flash forward a million years to today. Remember a certain April Fool's joke I played on my co-worker, Ann, last week? Where I pretended to be locked in the basement of our office building and that I was hearing strange noises? Well guess what? I have to go down there today to get some supplies.

The basement where I work is spooky, for real. I'm not going to say it's haunted, but let's just say... it's haunted. For sure. 100%.

Is the same thing that happened with the root beer going to happen?

Let's just leave it at this: if I text you today telling you I'm locked in the basement, I'm not kidding, so don't ignore it, k?

Nuh uh

It's possible some of you are a bit masochistic. Many of you chose Option 3 but you can forget about it! I would never actually tell any of you why you're not married! First of all, I don't know. Second of all, even if I did know, I wouldn't tell you. I can picture exactly how that would go:

Me: "Look, you have a lot to offer, but you're obsessed with Weird Al Yankovic, you wear sandals with socks, you carved 'Pretty fly for a white guy' in the side of you hair, and you wear Where's Waldo glasses. And that's just a start."

You: "Yeah? Well here's why YOU'RE not married..."

Me (thinking): "I'm not ready to hear this."

Plus, honestly, I don't know why anyone's not married. Marriage is this huge mystery to me.  In my mind, it's a miracle anyone gets married. Two people finding each other, liking each other, not getting completely fed up with each other, and wanting to be together forever? And both feel the same way?? How does that happen as often as it does!? Honestly, it's a miracle. (A wonderful miracle.)

And that's why I won't be doing option 3.

Since everyone wants something different, I'll rotate between a couple of the features below every Friday on "Feature Friday." Don't expect to see any Option 3's though, unless I'm particularly mad at one of you in which case I'll let you have it! You asked for it! (Literally.)

Wednesday Thoughts

A friend of mine has a weird phone - he claims it's my phone that's the problem but that's not true. It's his. Anyway, the thing about his phone is that whenever I talk to him, I hear an echo of my own voice. Which I hate. And which completely distracts me. Finally last week I said, "Honestly, how can you stand listening to my voice!? It's awful!" His response? "I wonder that myself sometimes."

Insults aside, why do we all hate the sounds of our voices so much? Does anyone out there like their voice?

Ok, in other Wednesday Thoughts, I'm thinking about adding a new feature to the blog! Here are some options I am considering. Help me decide?

1. Would you rather? My sister, Katherine, told me she misses "would you rather" so I'm considering bringing it back for awhile.

2. Elizabeth of Yesteryear. I really didn't know how to do my hair in high school. Any of you who have seen my senior picture know that's true. In my defense, it was the 90's, which was half of the problem. My only problem with this feature is that I'm not sure my self esteem will be able to handle the inevitable mocking. At the same time, it could be hilarious. Peg legged jeans and all.

3. I randomly choose a blog reader and tell them why they're not married.

4. Book reviews - this is exactly what you would think. Don't make me do this.

So what do you think?

In other thoughts, I'm going to start adding pages to the top of the blog - as you can see, "employment" is the first one to make the list on the upper left. I'm jealous of all the websites that have "employment" buttons so thought I'd become legit by adding one. Feel free to apply!

And lastly, I removed the "featured comments" section because a few of  you told me it stressed you out. So now that there's no pressure to be witty, I expect to see comments from those of you who complained. :)

Happy Wednesday!

The Neck Basket

This morning I saw a commercial for pajama jeans - pants that look like jeans but have the comfort of pajamas. At first I thought it was a joke, but when I realized it wasn't, I ordered five pairs in my size.* Surprisingly though, pajama jeans weren't the craziest product I saw advertised today! I thought I'd take a second between sessions of conference to share it with you.

Thanks to my friend Heidi, I was introduced to the revolutionary new (and much needed!) product: the Neck Basket. And yes, I'm ordering one in every size. With only three low payments of only $7.99 a month, how could I not!?

What would you put in your neck basket?



*I didn't.

April Fooled

The universe was out to get me to day. But since it was April Fool's Day, I was able to laugh about it...for the most part. Here are some of the ways the universe pranked me today:

1. I sleep with my hair in a ponytail. When I took out the ponytail holder this morning, it was stuck. I mean, really really stuck. I ended up having to cut it out of my hair. That hasn't happened since I was a kid.

2. I was late for work.

3. I ordered a mini Snickers blizzard and was given a Kit Kat one instead.

4. I went to the Acme store with only five minutes to spend inside and found the door locked, with this sign on the door:

5. The waitress at the restaurant tonight asked if I needed a refill on my Coke. I was drinking rootbeer. Coincidence? I think not.

I'm definitely not one to prank people on April Fool's Day. I can't keep a straight face for one thing. And I feel bad making people believe a lie. But I decided to lower my pranking standards today and pull a few little fast ones on my coworkers. Here's what I did:

1. Switched out Justin's tiny stapler for a huge one. He discovered it immediately (duh) but still, it was epic. I've been referring to it as "the stapler incident of 2011."

2. Justin and I went to the basement of our office building and started texting our other co-worker, Ann, telling her we were locked in the basement and were hearing strange sounds. We got increasingly panicked in our texts, hoping to freak Ann out. She was on to us though, telling us that it sounded like a real emergency, so she was just going to call 911.

3. I put some tape over the top of Ann's sparkling water can. Unfortunately, she saw it. Also unfortunately, the can was empty.

4. I replaced Justin's mandarin orange in gel fruit cup with my mixed fruit in cherry juice fruit cup and he didn't realize I'd made the switch! He ate it! I was panicking, hoping he wasn't allergic to anything in there. When I told him what I'd done, he said it was the best prank all day and that he felt like a fool.

Pranks done to me:
1. Ann rickrolled me. I loved it.
2. Justin scared me with a plastic ant. I jumped a mile.
3. The universe toyed with me all day, as previously mentioned.

Were you pranked today? Did you prank anyone?

I found your gloves

Now that April is here, I'm officially saying goodbye to winter. I know what some of my fellow Michiganders are thinking: "It's still cold." Yes. It is. But it's April now, which is when the leaves grow back and Michigan turns green again. So it won't be cold for much longer. I usually start chanting that to myself nonstop this time of year. It's not creepy at all. I just mumble it in public, and as we all know, mumbling is much less weird than chanting.

But I digress. Winter is over.

And for that cause, I am going to share with you a little project I worked on this winter. Whenever I'd see a lost winter clothes item in the snow, I'd snap a picture of it. So to you, lost mittens, lost earmuffs, lost hats, and lost scarves, I say good bye.

And don't come back.