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Saturday, April 16, 2011

Boyfriend Quiz

The other day something happened that I really don't feel like divulging in this forum, but which led to the following conversation with my coworker, Justin:

Me: As far as I see it, I have two options at this point: spinsterhood or arranged marriage.
J: Do you like cats?
Me: Not really.
J: Looks like it's an arranged marriage.

I don't want to sound bitter or anything because I'm not, but why does dating have to be so hard!? (That sentence should get more whiny as it goes, for the record.) But the more I thought about things, the more I started thinking that there has to be a better way. An easier way.

There are certain things I look for in a guy. Namely, there has to be some level of attraction (don't argue with me, you know it's true - but attraction is very unpredictable and comes in many forms), he must be nice to me, and we have to have a decent personality match. For me to marry him, he needs to be of the same faith as me. If I meet a guy who seems to fit those things, maybe I'll just give him this quiz to see if we should continue. If he passes, he can be my boyfriend, if he so chooses.

Oh, also, he'll be hooked up to a polygraph while he's taking this quiz. See, I told you there had to be a simpler way! What could be more simple than this!?



Wouldn't it be nice if it were that easy?

(I realize this would exclude some awesome guys. This quiz is just meant to be amusing. Although, there are a couple questions on the quiz that are non-negotiable. You can probably guess what those would be.)

14 comments:

Heather said...

Yes. It would be easier.
And.
I agree on all your answers. A pre married quiz of my would have looked just like this.
And then
I would have NEVER married my husband who I love very, very much.
(Except that I would never settled for a pathological liar....again.)
:)

Elizabeth Downie said...

Haha, yes, I know. A lot of the guys I have liked the most in my life would not have passed this quiz.

The Boob Nazi said...

The problem with number 3 is that he COULD BE LYING ABOUT IT. That's the trouble with those pathological liars.

Katherine said...

Oh, man, that would be nice!!! I think arranged marriage might be the answer for me, too, being allergic to cats and all. I think a lie detector is essential, too. I'm saving for the delux. ;)

Janice said...

A) I'm stealing this quiz.
B) I decided that I'm doing the arranged marriage thing. Sort of. Lots of my male relatives have gone back to the old country to find a good Arab woman, marry her, and bring her back to the U.S. So I figure, why don't I do that? It should be an easy sell considering Palestine is a war torn country and it's super hard to get a Visa unless you marry an American. I'll let you know how it goes.

Savd said...

You could give eHarmony and Match.com a run for their money with this idea!! Much more direct and to the point. :)

This reminds me of a book I read: "Five Things I Can't Live Without" by Holly Shumas - I'll loan it to you sometime! :)

Drake said...

Wow I was doing pretty well till the quiz took a turn for the tricky. But seriously...telling you ghosts aren't real? That's like telling a little kid Santa wasn't real...if he was terrified of Santa.

movingluggage said...

You don't have a boy from when you were 14 that promised you "If neither of us is married by the time we're 35, ..."?

Btw, this post inspired a post on my blog. I have effectively unlocked the the secret of the universe aka "Why is dating so hard?"

Mark said...

Whenever I play Life, the pink peg falls out of my car before the game is over.
Yes, but I want to know if you're laughing at or with me.
This answer is not intended to be a factual statement.
My grandmother thinks I am.
I prefer your hair.
See #2.
My moustache is connected to a full beard. You decide.
I will tell you that Mr. Darcy isn't real.
Do you mean the kind of adventure where we plan on going to Ludington but end up in Tawas City, or where we plan on going to dinner and end up with a dead hooker in the trunk?
Yes, and I'm proud to be a nerd.

Mark said...

I'll tell my dad I answered this quiz and that will keep him from sending me links to LDSHookups.com for a couple of months...

Christi said...

Remind me to tell you about my new ghost story.
I think you should hand this quiz out at church. Just to narrow it down a bit.

Anonymous said...

what about a guy that sends you a cake?...just saying

From experience match.com might not be a good route.

but I know there is someone out there that is deserving of a beautiful girl from Michigan with curly hair.

An admirer from the distance. ;)

Sui Sin Far said...

I think spinsterhood or arranged marriage is a better prospect than spinsterhood or apostasy. And, what's an LDS hookup? That seems oxymoronic.

Liz said...

I think I may have accidently taken and passed that quiz.