Thursday, March 31, 2011

Sucker Punched

Stephanie as Blondie
Warning: if you thought Sucker Punch was good, I guess we can still be friends but I'd advise you not to read the rest of this post or you will 1. not want to be my friend or 2. tell me I just "didn't get" Sucker Punch. In which case, I might have to sucker punch you.

One of my hobbies lately has been seeing bad movies. They're nearly as enjoyable as good movies in their own way. I just feel bad for the people in the movie theater who are actually enjoying the movie while I laugh at all the wrong moments.

For someone who likes bad movies, Sucker Punch seemed an obvious "must see." Especially with reviews like these two, from Rotten Tomatoes:

"The hypocrisy of Sucker Punch is that it portends to supplant traditional
objectified-female eroticism with violence, but all it does is turn said
violence into another form of fetishized display for its largely male audience."
- James Kendrick

"It's not often you see a film that makes you think, 'I wish I was watching Yogi Bear again.'"
- Charlie Lyne

My biggest mistake was not listening to those reviews. I thought I was stronger than them. I thought I could handle how bad Sucker Punch was. I thought it would be funny and maybe even a little entertaining. I thought it would have a coherent storyline. I thought people would be getting sucker punched right and left.

I had no idea what I was in for. The story was a delusion within a delusion within a pretentious movie. It included Jon Hamm performing a lobotomy. And Vanessa Hudgens was in it, so... yeah, it was bad.  In fact, I think I'd go so far as to say it's worse than Troll 2. And not in a good way.

The only good part of the movie was that the fight scenes were so weird and nonsensical, they actually lulled me to sleep and I enjoyed a short reprieve from the movie.

What's a movie you wish you hadn't paid $10 to see?


Maxabillion J said...

Okay so people make mistakes! I was young! I mean, how is a thirteen year old supposed to know! It was late, and at a party and everybody else was doing it! I guess I didn't think about the consequences. Okay, yes, I'll admit it. I watched Bring It On.

Katherine said...

I saw an awful movie that I think was called "Mars Attacks" or something like that. I can't get into movies like that. Armageddon was similarly TERRIBLE, but I don't think I saw that in the theater. Overly dramatic space movies (unless it's Apollo 13) make me grumpy. :)

Amy Teeters said...

But, Katherine, Mars Attacks was supposed to be a bad alien invasion movie. They fulfilled a ton of the qualifications. It makes it one of my favorite movies for laughing.

I don't think I've seen a movie I was upset about spending the cost of the ticket to see it. I just get disappointed in some of the sloppy skills of continuity.

I saw The Fountain in the theater but kept falling asleep, since I had woken up very early for work. So it first confused me since I missed parts. So I eventually checked it out from the library and watched it again.

Brady said...

I have only walked out of a theater once. And it wasn't because the movie content was objectionable in any moral sense. I was bored out of my mind and decided that standing in line was preferable to watching one more minute of that movie. The movie? Fantastic Four. Not so fantastic.

Heather said...

The only movie I ever walked out of was Hot Shots with Charlie Sheen. It was one of the most stupid things I had ever seen. (And I taught sixth grade for a while, so that is saying something.)
Thanks for the heads up on Sucker PUnch.

Sarah said...

Worst movie I ever paid to see, "Shallow Hal" with Jack Black and Gwyenth Paltrow...awful awful awful. Oh, and "Bring It On" should NOT be on this list of awful movies! That's one of my's timeless! :)

Today's Gift said...

Clash of the Titans. I went to see it with a friend and during dinner afterward he and I both complained about how bad it was.

lizzie mc.- said...

You need to find someone to sponsor you as a movie critic. It's not like I was saved from a bad movie that I was aching to see, but what a riot. Watch more so I can enjoy more reviews...

BTW, there are several new movies coming out with whats-his-bucket green goblin dude...

Was delightfully surprised to not just endure but enjoy Mastermind.

karajean said...

Hmmmm.... the only movie I can think of right now that I can't believe I saw in the theaters was Stuck On You with Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear. Not sure how good my decision making skills were back then, although I was young and movies were a lot cheaper, so I probably only paid 5 or 6 bucks, not 10.

elliespen said...

How odd. You're the second person on my blogroll to blog about Sucker Punch today. (My good friend did a full analysis of it here, if you're interested:

I can't think of any movies right off that I wish I hadn't paid $10 to see, but I did go to a play on Saturday that I seriously considered walking out of.

I was kind of ticked off that I would never get those two hours back after I watched "Taken." Most people loved that one, though, so I may need to give it another chance. "Romeo + Juliet" is another one that makes me want to throw something at the screen. I periodically re-watch it to see if I'll like it (because I really love Shakespeare adaptations in general), but always regret it afterward.

billysasquatch said...

I remember not liking a movie called last action hero the first time i watched it but another friend wanted to see it so I went again and sat through it... again. This experience has always haunted me.

Wait. This post is 4 months old?? heheheh. I finally saw sucker punch and thought of this post. The movie's not so much pretentious as trying to hard to outwit viewers. Believe it or not I think it was reaching concept / poor execution.

"Dress us to satisfy your fetishistic whims - baby doll, sailor, geisha, stripper - but in doing so you free our fantasy world, too, in all its potency."

Very creative but no where near as stylistically impressive as snyder's other movie 300. shots were off balance, colors were messy and seemingly picked from a late 90s music video, and he loved him some slow moooo. Anyway the 'idea' of fighting 3 story warriors and dragons whilst piloting wwII aircraft is a lot cooler in a novel or comic then what I saw on screen.

with his concept he was trying to separate regular nerds from uber nerds, and fans from fanboys- trekkers from trekkies, shazam from superman thus the title of the movie.

Based on my chrystal clear rock solid logic here i'm guessing you are a superman loving, regular nerd trekker. So. There. AND that's why you didn't like it:)

anyway, hope you stumble on this one day and it makes you smile. lj