Sucker Punched

Stephanie as Blondie

Warning: if you thought Sucker Punch was good, I guess we can still be friends but I'd advise you not to read the rest of this post or you will 1. not want to be my friend or 2. tell me I just "didn't get" Sucker Punch. In which case, I might have to sucker punch you.

One of my hobbies lately has been seeing bad movies. They're nearly as enjoyable as good movies in their own way. I just feel bad for the people in the movie theater who are actually enjoying the movie while I laugh at all the wrong moments.

For someone who likes bad movies, Sucker Punch seemed an obvious "must see." Especially with reviews like these two, from Rotten Tomatoes:

"The hypocrisy of Sucker Punch is that it portends to supplant traditional
objectified-female eroticism with violence, but all it does is turn said
violence into another form of fetishized display for its largely male audience."

- James Kendrick

"It's not often you see a film that makes you think, 'I wish I was watching Yogi Bear again.'"

- Charlie Lyne

My biggest mistake was not listening to those reviews. I thought I was stronger than them. I thought I could handle how bad Sucker Punch was. I thought it would be funny and maybe even a little entertaining. I thought it would have a coherent storyline. I thought people would be getting sucker punched right and left.

I had no idea what I was in for. The story was a delusion within a delusion within a pretentious movie. It included Jon Hamm performing a lobotomy. And Vanessa Hudgens was in it, so... yeah, it was bad.  In fact, I think I'd go so far as to say it's worse than Troll 2. And not in a good way.

The only good part of the movie was that the fight scenes were so weird and nonsensical, they actually lulled me to sleep and I enjoyed a short reprieve from the movie.

What's a movie you wish you hadn't paid $10 to see?

Wednesday Thoughts

this one's for the children

My 12 year old self would have been so proud of me yesterday as I walked into the Michigan student Union Ticketmaster to buy tickets for the New Kids on the Block/Back Street Boys concert in June.

When I approached the register, I said to the college aged girl working at the desk, "this is embarrassing, but I need three tickets to the NKOTB/BSB concert."  As she told me what seats were available, I asked her if she'd ever been to the Palace so she could give me a better idea of where the seats were. Her response was, "yeah but mine is even more embarrassing. I went there to see Brittany Spears."

Even though the concert isn't for three months, I got myself psyched up today by listening to a few old NKOTB favorites. Guys, I don't know how to say this but they didn't exactly stand the test of time. The first song I listened to was "Popsicle." As I listened, my thoughts went something like this, "Jordan should not be hitting those notes...oh no, not sing-talking!! I hate sing-talking!...wow this is a long song....why is she his Popsicle anyway!? what does that even mean!?!?"

I was also reminded of how, a couple years after I fell in love with NKOTB, when I was about 14 or 15, I had the distinct feeling that I might be getting too old for them. It was bittersweet. I dread the day when I make that realization about Justin Bieber.

Now it's time for a confession: this is not my first time seeing NKOTB in concert. It is only my second though, if that makes you feel better. And the first time was about twenty years ago when I was in sixth grade (dang, I'm old). I went with my friend Kristin. Her mom waited in the car for us the whole time, a sacrifice we naturally didn't appreciate at the time. When the guys came out on the stage, I was star struck, completely. I was totally mad about Jordan but I wouldn't have turned Joey down, had he asked me out. Sigh. Memories.

My sisters were too young to go to the concert back then, so we decided to make a sisters night out of it this time. It's going to be a blast. I just hope Jordan notices me this time...

Ok, now I want to hear from you: what was your first concert!?

Happy Wednesday.

TV boyfriends

When I went to Sarah's to meet up with her the other day, she said, "I have some stuff for you over there on the chair." I looked to where she was pointing and saw there was a book she thought I'd like, and this, which she'd torn out of a magazine for me:

Yama Mama!

For you anti-Losties, that's Sawyer, one of the many hotties of Lost. The number one hottie, really. (Don't even try to say Jack is hotter - we all know it's not true. I suppose a close second would be Hurley.)

Looking at this picture (or gazing, really), I started thinking about my other TV boyfriends. I know what you're thinking right now, "pf! tv boyfriends! pathetic!" But you know you have them too. It's not like you spend time thinking about them when you're not watching their show, but when you are watching their show, you think of him as the guy you'd date if the show were real and you were a character.

Here are some shows I watch, or have watched, along with who my fantasy boyfriend is in that show:


HIMYM boyfriend: Ted. or Marshall, depending. But mostly Ted.
Lost boyfriend: Sawyer. And sometimes Keamy.
30 Rock boyfriend: Kenneth*
Community boyfriend: I choose none.
Friends boyfriend: Ross
The Simpsons boyfriend: Ned Flanders
Modern Family boyfriend: Dylan (he's 22 in real life, so stop judging)
Psych boyfriend: Henry (he's 56 in real life, so stop judging)
The Office boyfriend: Jim or Darrell
Seinfeld boyfriend: Putty or Jay Peterman
Magnum PI boyfriend: Higgins**
Northern Exposure boyfriend: Chris (duh)
Sabrina boyfriend: Harvey (double duh)

Who are your tv boyfriends/girlfriends?? Dish!


*Just kidding. It's Lutz.
** Jah right!

Not funny. Two points of view on the same night.

Last night my friend Sarah and I went to a Michigan firehouse fund raiser. Three comedians performed at the fundraiser. I'm not in any way anti-comedian. Jerry Seinfeld? Love him! Ellen Degeneres? Hilarious! But last night, Sarah and I were not amused by any of the three comedians who performed. And here's why.

What I learned from the comedians (all men):

Women are horrible. They're pure evil, they manipulate men, they nag all the time, they trick men into marrying them then turn into the worst versions of themselves. And not only that, but one guy said having a daughter has taught him that women are born evil. Nice dad, huh?

DUIs are hilarious! What's funnier that an DUI? Isn't drunk driving the funniest thing? One guy talked extensively about how he got a DUI and how hilarious it was. And how he's planning on how to get out of the next one. He even joked about victims who are injured by drunk drivers. I'm not kidding.

Racism! SO funny! One of the comedians kept making Arab jokes and what's worse is that people were laughing so hard they were banging the tables. I was completely baffled.

Religion! Isn't it hilarious?

Look. I have a sense of humor. If you've read this blog for any amount of time, you know that. Maybe you don't find me funny, but you know I'm willing to laugh at myself and life. But that stuff I listed? That stuff isn't funny. What do you think should be off limits for comedians to joke about? Maybe being raised in the 90's just made me too politically correct.

Here's the one joke I laughed at.

"You know who I like? Kid Rock. I like him because he's a millionaire, but he looks like he should be running the tilt-a-whirl at the carnival."

It's funny because it's true.

Sarah's take on the night:

"Truth be told, we did laugh a few times, but we had to supply our own amusement. Such as, cracking up every time the older couple behind us had to ask the other to repeat the punch line, or when the woman at our table would cackle and then repeatedly pound on the tabletop. One time, the comedian did crack us up, but it was more nervous laughter, as he accosted a gentleman coming out of the bathroom, asked him what color the soap was (to validate that he had washed his hands), then the comedian proceeded to run into the bathroom to verify that the guy was wrong, and called him out on it!

The vibe of the evening was that of an awkward church retreat for older couples rekindling the romance. In a firehouse. By laughing at all the flaws each comedian pointed out about how these couples raised their children and then managed to screw up their own relationships.

And speaking of the material, it is clear that comedians think the funniest bits are ripping women to pieces. In fact, we are pretty sure that the final comedian was gay, but still used material related to his 'failed marriage' and his newest conquest...pretty sure he totally made those scenarios up just to fit in with theme of woman bashing by the other comedians!"

Have any of you had a bad experience with comedy shows? Have you had a good one?

Things making me happy this week

Yesterday was Thursday

Today it is Friday

We-we-we so excited

We gonna have a ball today

(If you don't recognize these lyrics, consider yourself lucky! Check out #8 for more info.)

Like I said, today is Friday! Time to reflect on the things making me happy this week. Without further ado:

1. Detroit women's roller derby. We went to a game on Saturday and had a blast. Unfortunately, it wasn't all underground and hardcore like in Whip It, but even at Cobo Arena, it was pretty cool, and fairly hardcore.

2. Bridal showers. This is a secret I haven't revealed on here, but last year I put a ban on all bridal showers and baby showers for personal reasons (which I'm sure you can figure out). I realize it was a bit selfish of me but it was a matter of survival. I think I only went to one last year - so that person (you know who you are!) should feel really special. Anyway, I have been to two bridal showers in the past two weeks and have been having a blast. Guess I'll keep the ban lifted for awhile.

3. Deeeeetroit! I ate at the delicious crepe restaurant "Good girls go to Paris" for the second time this year. And hopefully not the last.

4. Photofunia. As is evidenced in my new header, I've been having way too much fun with that website.

5. Friends. I know, I'm so cheeseball.

6. Making this list. Double cheeseball.

7. This list of "The best Simpsons headlines!" If you love the Simpsons as much as I do, you should definitely check out this link. You will bust a gut. 

8. The song "Friday" by Rebecca Black. Wow. Just... just awful.

9. Conan's version, "Thursday". So good!

What's making you happy this week? 

Think vs. Say

Though it may not seem this way, I don't say everything I'm thinking. My filter may not always be as big as I'd like it to be, but it does stop some things from escaping out of my brain through my mouth. And thank goodness for that.

Here are some things I often think along with what I choose to say instead. Initially I just typed it out, but blogger was being a butthead about making columns so I had to make this (this is more fun anyway):

I feel bad even writing "Wacko Jacko," since Michael Jackson passed away, may he rest in peace.

What thoughts do you filter?

Shriekfest 2011

I just had the second most terrifying shower experience of my life. Here's what happened.

I was pretty much this scared.

I was minding my own beeswax, shampooing my hair and whatnot when what did I see but a HUGE yellow spider, STARING at me from the safety of the body wash bottle.

There was nothing I could do. I had nothing to squish it with, and even if I wanted to get something to squish it (which I did!), I would have had to get out of the shower, drip water everywhere, dry off a bit, grab some t.p., get back in the shower, turn the water off, and chase the spider around the bottle.

So I continued showering. What ensued was Shriekfest 2011 as I went about my business keeping one eye on the spider the whole time, and letting out a shriek every time it moved. To be fair, the spider seemed to be in as much of a panic as me, staring at me, then running around the bottle, then lowering itself a few inches, then rushing back up and staring at me some more.

I rushed through my showering routine, shaving my legs like I was in leg-shaving speed competition (ouch, by the way). The spider, which I am almost positive is climbing on me now, tormented me through the entire experience. I'm shocked I made it out alive.*

Like I said, second worst shower experience ever. The first worst involved a spider too, but that story has to be saved for another day. I can't talk about it right now.

What's your worst spider story? Or shower story, whichever. Just keep it clean. (Get it?**)

*no detail in this story has been exaggerated in the slightest. 
** worst pun ever.

Wednesday Thoughts

I'm about 40% grouchy this morning. I blame it on some bad honey dew I had earlier. When fruit is good, it's pure nirvana, but when it's bad, it's horrible and foul.

I started writing a grouchy Wednesday Thoughts but one sentence in, decided it was only making me feel worse. So instead, I'll tell you a couple highlights from a visit with my grandma last night. I want to preface it by saying that I have been really enjoying this time with my grandma. She is sweet, loving, and a complete worry wart.

Grandma: "Mary (my aunt/her daughter) told me not to worry about you, that you always have stuff going on and you're fine."
Me: "It's true, my life is happy. You don't need to worry about me."
Grandma: (sadly), "But...well... I guess I just hoped you'd find someone and get married."
Me: "Well...there's still time."
Grandma (disbelievingly): "Yeah...."


Later:

Grandma, while turning on a lamp she's bequeathed to me after she dies, "This will be your lamp!"
Me, not thinking about what I was saying: "Yeah, I can't wait!"

(realizing what I said)

"I mean, I can totally wait! No rush! Take your time! Absolutely no rush at all!"

My grandma is always saying things like, "I just don't see how anyone couldn't like you!" Completely baffled by it. I guess it's her role as my grandma to think any man who doesn't like me is a fool. It both makes me feel loved and aware of my flaws (as it puts a spotlight on my non-married status). C'est la vie.

In other Wednesday Thoughts:

I added two songs to my iPod thinking they would cheer me up but so far they've had the reverse effect:

"Angel of Mine" by Monica. Thought it would be a fun blast from the past but instead it's creating that bad kind of nostalgia.
"Man in the Mirror" by Michael Jackson. I heard it on the radio last week and loved it. Now it's making me  melancholy.

I need some happier songs. Suggestions?

Lastly, some birthday shout outs!

Happy birthday CHRISTI and LIZ! :) Yay! Hope your birthdays are amazing today!

Happy Wednesday!

A Very Brady Vacation

I've been dreaming about taking a vacation lately. And because I'm dying to feel sunshine and warmth while simultaneously realizing a lifelong dream, I've been thinking more about seeing the Grand Canyon.

I feel like I sound like a kid from a different decade when I say that. Who, my age, is dying to go to the Grand Canyon? I'm pretty sure a single person my age should want to go someplace "cooler" than that - someplace like Branson, Missouri, for example.

Speaking of different decades, I've also been in the mood to watch the Brady Bunch  (I have no idea why), so imagine my delight when I happened upon it Saturday afternoon. Not only that but (wait for it.....) at the beginning of the episode, Mr. Brady announced to the kids that they were going on a family vacation to the Grand Canyon! I'm not sure who was more excited about this - me or Bobby!

Unfortunately, the Bradys decided to take a little detour and visit a ghost town on their way to the Grand Canyon. While there, they got mixed up with an old prospector who was afraid they were trying to steal his gold. He ended up luring them into a jail cell and locking them up. Once I realized they probably weren't going to make it to the Grand Canyon (there were only ten minutes left in the episode), I lost interest and turned the tv off. I have no idea how the Bradys and Alice got out of that jail cell, or if they ever did for that matter. Maybe that's how the series ended.

Darn prospector!

Regardless of what happened to the Bradys, I am still dreaming about going to the Grand Canyon. Theirs was a cautionary tale. I'm pretty sure I can make it all the way there without a ghost town lockup. (Though probably not without a TSA pat-down which could end up being just as uncomfortable.)

What about you? Where are you dreaming of vacationing?

A love letter

I spent a really nice evening with friends tonight. Spring is here, and it was a rainy day which turned into a rainy night. At my friend's house, while a couple of the guys prepared one of the most delicious meals I've ever eaten, the rest of us played a board game. The game was a raucous, competitive one with lots of laughing and  friendly arguing, which is my favorite kind of game.

Later, as I was eating dinner, feeling quite content, I looked out the now dark and rainy second story window across from me and what did I see? A helium balloon with a long ribbon tied to it, floating up and away. It was honestly magical. (I tried hard not to think that a child may have lost it, though watching a balloon float majestically away is better than watching it slowly deflate inside anyway.)

It was a nearly perfect moment. A belly full of good food, a nice evening with friends, feeling warm and happy inside, while looking out at the rainy night sky with a balloon floating by.

The other night I was with friends and I jokingly said that I don't believe in love. My friend Brady said, "that's a lie, you write about love in your blog all the time." I said, "I do??" And he said, "yeah, you're always writing about how much you love your friends and family and everything." It surprised me that he said that because I didn't realize I write about that that much. But I was also happy that he said that because I really do have a lot of love in my life. And many people to be grateful for.

Today my home teacher shared a wonderful lesson with me about looking for the good. The truth, for all of us, is that life is difficult. Everyone is going through a trial, whether great or small, and it's easy to become down and cynical. It's often hard to find the good in our lives because the bad demands so much more attention and is easier to focus on. But I have found that when I really try to find the good, I can. And I'm much happier.

One of the things I've been thinking a lot about lately is how blessed I am in the friends department (and I include my family in that as well since I consider my family my friends). I seriously have such wonderful friends. They make me laugh, they support me, encourage me, and show me love. When it comes to "looking for the good," I often look to my friends because of how good they are to me and how much they enrich my life.

I know this post is a slight deviation from what I normally write about but I can't help it - a helium balloon sent me over the edge of happiness and I had to share some of it with you all. I hope that you are able to find the good in your lives and share it. Happiness really is contagious.

The Happy Things

Welcome to "things making me happy," the St. Patrick's Day edition! As you know, last week I posted a collage of things that had made me happy that week. Focusing on the positive cheered me up so I thought I'd make a habit out of it! Here's week two:

1. Green cupcakes with green sparkles for St. Patty's Day!

2. The snow and ice are melting! Good riddance!

3. Bike riding is back in my life and this is making me beyond happy. I'd forgotten about that part of me - the part that flies down the street with my hair blowing in the breeze. I missed that part of me! I'm so happy spring is here (here-ish).

4. Corned beef and cabbage - delicious!

5. A fire hydrant wearing a winter hat - with the temps earlier this week, I understand.

6. Twitter. I've been blowing it up this week with the most fascinating, mind blowing (read: boring) tweets ever. Still, I'm loving it. (This picture is slightly altered for the holiday.) :)

7. Green salsa. Going out to a Mexican restaurant on St. Patrick's Day didn't seem right, so I got some green salsa to make it better.

8. Bad movies. I saw Beastly with my friend Heidi last weekend, and it was (spoiler alert): bad. The only good thing was that Neil Patrick Harris had a small role - he almost saved the movie. Other that that, hilariously bad. Two words: Mary Kate Olsen. Make that three words. She played the witch who put the curse on the popular boy. Need I say more?

The next night we got a couple other girls to join us and saw Red Riding Hood. It was ridiculous. Seeing bad movies is my new favorite thing to do. :)

What's making you happy this week?

Wednesday Thoughts

That one time with Prince Charles at the parade

Due to the random nature of today's Wednesday Thoughts, I have numbered them to make them easier to follow:

1. Tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day. I'm not actually Irish (technically I think I'm something like 6% Irish), but I love any excuse to eat green food so I pretend I'm all Irish for the day (which I think is what most people do, really).

What do you do to celebrate St. Patrick's Day? My celebration pretty much consists of wearing something green so I don't get pinched - well, that and drinking green milk. Actually, I haven't had green milk since elementary school, which is very sad indeed.

A friend of mine believes that kisses are free on St. Patricks day and he goes out of his way to take advantage of the day. What do you guys think? Are kisses free on St. Patty's Day?

2. I really have to give "elliespen" credit for admitting she thinks sneezes have a smell on my previous post. Until she commented, I was almost starting to feel bad for Jesse, being all alone in this world with his super sense of smell. Turns out he's not alone. After I read her comment this morning, Jesse and I had the following textversation:

Me: Someone else smells sneezes.
Jesse: Someone else will live through the apocalypse.

3. I've been tweeting so much lately, you guys. I don't know what has come over me. Boredom? Maybe. Honestly I'm not even sure what I'm doing over there. The other day I tweeted about eating too much basghetti. Also, I just started "retweeting" so it doesn't look like I'm having conversations with myself. There's a learning curve on Twitter and I'm pretty sure I'm not there yet. But I'm loving it anyway, even though I know some of you are haters. I have several friends who roll their eyes and/or groan when I mention Twitter. Which only makes me want to mention it more, of course.

Anyway, come over and follow me on Twitter! I'll follow you back, unless you're the scary kind of stranger.

4. The weather lately feels like fall. Not early fall - the most enchanting time of year - but late fall, right before winter starts. I'm trying to look at this as a good thing, because fall always trumps winter. It's making me nostalgic for Halloween, which I love. Still, I'm aching for summer. Spring is right around the corner, right? Right?!?

5. I ordered Jillian Michaels' 30 day shred video and I'm way nervous - I've heard it's so hard it makes you hate life. I'm going to do my best though - in fact, I'm pretty sure I'll keep a journal of my 30 day progress for your amusement. So keep an eye out for that in April!

Meanwhile, wear some green tomorrow or I'll pinch ya. Or kiss you, depending on what we decide on the question of kisses being free. Either way, watch out.

Happy Wednesday!

The sneeze couch

The sneeze heard (not smelled) round the world

 

I need you guys to settle something for me. My friend Jesse claims that sneezes have a distinct smell. When he lived in Michigan, there was a couch in his house which he claimed "smelled like sneeze" and which he referred to as "the sneeze couch."

I had sat on this couch many times and never having noticed anything that smelled like sneeze on it, I naturally thought he was crazy. So the next time I was there, I sniffed the couch. I got as close as I could to it, trying to detect anything sneeze like. Besides smelling like it belonged in a house where only men live, I smelled nothing I could identify as "sneeze."

Now Jesse's back at school and I forgot all about the sneeze debate until this morning when I got a text message from him saying that a guy in his class sneezed and he could smell it. He claims that "not all sneezes have a smell" but some do.

I told him I'd take it to the blog to settle this dispute. What do you guys think? Have you ever smelled a sneeze?

Side Effects

Today has been loco - I have been running from one thing to the next. Everything going on has been very fun (bridal shower, seeing Beastly {which I give 3 stars out of 10}, going to a party or two) but still - nonstop. I decided  I would sit down for 2.2 minutes and relax while waiting for something to warm up in the oven for the next event. So I plopped onto the couch and turned on the tv.

Though I haven't been paying any attention to what is actually on tv, I have noticed the commercials, specifically those prescription commercials - the ones that say things like, "yes, this could improve your heart OR, it could make things a million times worse."

Like this one for Toehelpia:

Quickly relieves toe pain due to over use of flip flops.

Side effects may include: increased toe pain, hatred of flip flops, major personality change, head aches, desire to wear roller blades inside, toe fungus, heart problems, diabetes, long nose hairs, baldness, hip dysplasia, foreign accent, distrust of friends, increased belly button lint, loss of toes completely, and death.

I know that legally they have to list the side effects (actually, I don't know that, but I assume that - otherwise, why would they?) but honestly! The message of some of these commercials is: "what you have is bad, but if you're interested, we could make it worse!"

Hmmm... sounds like some dates I've been on.

Random thoughts, I know. Ok, on to the next thing!

Think of the happiest things

The weather this week has been glooooomy. Cold, melty, freezy, (I hope these technical terms don't confuse you), and gray. So gray. So I've been getting by by thinking about happy things. Here are some of the things that have gotten me happily through the last couple days.

1. The Cupcake Station. I know I made fun of cupcake places in a previous post, but I'll admit that I may have been wrong. The cupcake I had there was amazing. Plus, isn't this place cozy?

2. The cupcake. The PB&C (peanut butter and chocolate). Oh so good.

3. The snow is melting. Yes, it looks hideous at this stage but just think of it in human terms: it's pretty as a baby (freshly fallen snow), not so cute as an adolescent (melty, muddy snow) (not that adolescents are hideous, they're just...awkward...or at least, I was), then nice looking again as an adult (grass). Worst analogy ever? Possibly. You know what I'm trying to say though.

4. I almost got this book at Borders today: Marry Him, the case for settling for Mr. Good Enough. I didn't, because I was afraid of what I would do if I read it. 

5. I ordered a Whirley Pop popcorn popper. My friend Kate has one and it makes the best popcorn ever!

6. I also ordered this book, Swamplandia, which I've been wanting to check out and which I've heard good things about. I am so in the mood to sink my teeth into a good book (figuratively of course - cause otherwise that would be weird).

7. I ate at my favorite Japanese restaurant with my favorite Sofía (who also went with me to the Cupcake Station - what a friend)!

8. I lost my keys BUT, knew I had a spare set in my purse thanks to my little show and tell post the other day, AND my keys were rediscovered at Borders. So, it could have been a lot worse, right? All's well that ends well. 

What's making you happy today?

*Ten points to anyone who gets the title of this post. :)

Wednesday Thoughts

A name like Elizabeth lends itself to a lot of nicknames - some traditional, some unique. At this point I'm used to answering to all sorts of nicknames and mispronunciations.

Here are a few of my nicknames along with who calls/called me it:

Liz - mostly by guys who never ask if it's ok to call me that.
Lizzy - my uncle and a few other friends
Libby - Chris
Lizzy Lou - Vaughn
Rizza - Diane
Liz Beth - Jesse
Dawitabis - my nieces and nephews at some point
Salibis - my nieces and nephews at some point
Bibis - my brother and sisters when they were kids
Dit - a kid I baby-sat for in high school
B - my friend's niece when she was a toddler
Ah-beth - my niece, currently
Lizardbreath - my brother as a teenager
Liza-poop - my friend's younger brothers when we were kids...and currently.
Katherine - this is my sister's name but people call me it by mistake all. the. time.

As you can see, I'm accustomed to hearing lots of variations on my name.

But one thing I have never been called is "Uncle Elizabeth." My friend Abe, who lives in Seattle, sent me this picture yesterday:

Uncle Elizabeth's Internet Cafe

Hm. Uncle Elizabeth's. Not my favorite, but I've already to confessed to being called much worse.

What's the weirdest thing you've been called?

And for the record, I prefer to be called Elizabeth.

Happy Wednesday.

What's in your bag?

I recently read an article about how women's purses have grown exponentially in recent years. The article said that a lot of these purses weigh up to 20 lbs and contain everything from medicines, hand wipes, and band aids to spare underwear and even toothbrushes. The article called these purses "an emotional crutch," which seemed a little harsh to me, but which I'll admit could have some truth to it.

It made me think about all the things I have in my purse, so I decided to empty it, take a picture of everything that was in it, and document it for your judging pleasure. For the record, I almost always have gum in my purse, but was out (lest you think I'm unprepared):

Could be worse, don't you think? There may or may not have been a few wadded up receipts and gum wrappers at the bottom too, but I figured no one needs to see that.

Time to fess up: what's in your purse?

Sexy Feet!!!

I have to admit, most of the time when people post youtube videos on their blogs, I don't watch them. It seems like too much of a time commitment to watch a video for some reason. When I occasionally do watch them though, I'm always glad I did! If you watch this video, trust me, that will be the case with you. I've probably watched it five times and it cracks me up every time.

Short Term Goal Updates

A few posts ago I wrote out some short term goals. Here's where I hold myself accountable for how I've done:

•"Check in" on Facebook (if you're unfamiliar with "checking in," it's that thing where you let the government and all your friends know which restaurant you're at via Facebook.) I tried. This is what the screen said the entire time I was at the restaurant. Guess I shouldn't have added the "Block Big Brother app." 

•Either start Tweeting or get rid of Twitter. I've tweeted at least three times since I wrote this so I'd say that's a success. I took a shameful turn on Twitter though and started following Charlie Sheen. I can't help it though. He's "duh! Winning."

Which reminds me, if you haven't seen it, here's a clip of Jimmy Fallon impersonating Charlie Sheen. He nailed it.

  •Learn a new, healthy, recipe that doesn't make eating healthy feel depressing. Check, and check.

•Watch more Portlandia. I have failed at this but will get on it.

•Start a Snow Support Group for real. Well, for real-ish. In progress!

•Finish the book I'm reading, Dewey. I'm nervous because I heard it gets sad later... Dang cats. Almost there.

•Find a new celebrity crush. I'm getting tired of James Franco. Changed my mind. Why get a new crush when James Franco is such a worthy one?

•Watch James Franco on the Oscars Sunday night and drool over him. A lot. It would have been easier to drool over him if he didn't have that crazy look on his face the whole night:

•Tell the snow how I really feel about it, then kick it. Hard. I said some hurtful things to the snow. The kinds of things you can't take back. It helped a little bit. The problem with the snow is that while I hate it, in the sense that it is the Cobra Kai and makes driving impossible, it really is pretty. This was the scene I saw out the restaurant window tonight:

•Get rid of my winter personality (grouchy) and replace it with my summer personality (elated). I'm afraid I have not yet made this happen. I'm pretty sure it won't happen until winter ends.

•Watch Legally Blonde for something like the fourth time this winter. Love it just as much every time. If not more. I happened to catch it on tv the other night, so yes! Love it.


BONUS UPDATE: Since I've been talking a lot about the Justin Bieber movie, I thought I should tell you that I saw it today. Not only did I see it, but I saw it in 3D. Um, this next part isn't easy for me to say. I went to the movie thinking I was going to mock it the entire time. Turns out it was........

.........

good. It turns out the kid can dance. (Oh yeah, and sing.)  And the story of his rise to fame was actually kind of interesting. When we sat down, I said to my friend, "my biggest fear is that I am going to leave this theater with a crush on Justin Bieber." When the movie was over, I turned to him and said, "My fear came true." He said, "Even worse, I have a crush on him too." I've given you enough to judge me about in this post, so let me be clear that we were both joking. I did get a slight case of Bieber Fever, but the fever broke the moment I left the theater and no further treatment was required. Thank goodness.

How are your goals going?

Wednesday Thoughts

I have to admit that this week I have been in a bit of a weather-related funk. Every afternoon the temperatures have been getting just above freezing, which is just warm enough to melt some of the snow, which then forms impassable puddles on the sidewalks. Then in the late afternoon and overnight, when the temperatures go back down, these puddles freeze.
 


This used to be my playground
(Madonna style)

This morning as I was attempting to walk without falling, I decided in my anger that I am Daniel-san and winter is the Cobra Kai. All I'm trying to do is survive and not be afraid to go outside, but the Cobra Kai won't let me be. And when I decide to be brave and go on a walk, winter sweeps my leg. Every time.



If any of you have good ideas for how to keep my spirits up and beat winter, you can consider yourselves my Mr. Miyagi. I'm pretty sure "the Crane" isn't going to work in this case though, so don't even think about suggesting it or I'll know you were trained with Johnny at the Cobra Kai dojo.

That one time at the dojo

Ok, enough about Karate Kid and winter. (Although, PS, that movie's awesome.)

In other Wednesday Thoughts:

• I'm tired of hearing about Charlie Sheen.  
• It's March, which means it's almost St. Patrick's Day! I look pretty ok in green so March 17th is my day to shine. (That's one of the most ridiculous sentences I've ever written.)
• I bought season one of Modern Family on DVD and just finished it. Hilarious!
• Haven't seen the Justin Bieber movie yet, but will this weekend. It's gonna be hilarious too, but for different reasons.
• I'm trying to undo the damage I did this winter which means less chocolate, more carrots. That might be contributing to my current mood, where everything, and everyone is against me. That reminds me, Doritos, chocolate, and ice cream are also in the Cobra Kai.
• It's Wednesday, and that makes me happy. The weekend is almost here!

Happy Wednesday!