Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Wednesday Thoughts

This picture is hilarious to me.
Thank you all for humoring me yesterday with my "it's my birthday, me, me, me!" post. I appreciated the birthday wishes! You guys really enrich my life and I'm grateful for you.

I had a great birthday, even though my birthday plans got postponed by the snow. I guess it's a January 11th tradition to have a snow storm in Michigan. But I still had a great birthday. I went home and made some chicken noodle soup (from scratch - yeah, I'm bragging) and felt totally snug inside with the snow coming down outside the whole evening.

Yesterday my friend sent me a great link: 11 Dating Mantras to Live By. I thought it might be kind of fun to come up with list of my own! But my list is more dating advice, rather than mantras. Keep in mind, I'm no expert and this list isn't all inclusive. It's just a list of some things that I try to remember, or that I have learned (usually the hard way). So without further ado,

Elizabeth's Dating Advice

1. Don't give up! Even if you're feeling old because you just had a birthday, there's still hope!

2. If you're feeling undesirable, get your eyebrows waxed. You'll feel much better.

3. Don't hang out with guys who are engaged or have a girlfriend if you have a crush on them. Move on. It's a waste of your time.

4. If you want to bond with a guy, watch a scary movie with him. ;)

5. If you've been hanging out with a guy you have feelings for for awhile, but you're not sure if he just wants to be friends or not, clarify it as soon as possible. Don't let this go on for much longer. Or if you think he has feelings for you and you don't feel the same way, talk about it now. Trust me.

6. If you're feeling way down on dating, don't take an extended (planned) break. Just spend a little time with your friends, eating ice cream, watching funny movies, laughing, rejuvenating yourself, and not thinking about dating. Then ease back into it. You never know what the future holds. Try not to get bitter. Life is full of surprises.

7. If you think you're obsessing too much about dating, you probably are. Focus on spending time with friends or getting involved with a hobby to take your mind off it.

8. If you think a guy is a player and you don't feel like being played, don't go out with him when he asks (lesson learned the hard way here!).

9. Flirt. It's fun and harmless. (As long as you don't flirt with a murderer, of course.) And it gives you and the person you're flirting with a little ego boost. Find a way of flirting that works for you, then find someone you kinda like (or think is cute/fun) and flirt!

10. Try not to let dating impact the way you feel about yourself. You're awesome whether you've been asked out recently or not. You really are. Think about all you have to offer and don't worry if you haven't met someone who appreciates that yet. Make a list of the things that you like about yourself, or ask a friend what they like about you if dating has put you in the negatives, self esteem wise.

There you have it, after my 3X (thirty-something) years of dating experience, those are some of the lessons I've learned. But of course, I don't know everything - those are just some tips that work for me. If you have any words of wisdom, I'd love to hear them! And men, I know you're reading now (cat's out of the bag) so I want to hear some of your unique advice too.

I got some great dating/birthday advice from a friend yesterday: "make this the year you become a cougar." Ha! Not sure I'm going to follow that advice (also, I'm not technically old enough to be a cougar), but it certainly made me laugh.

Happy Wednesday.


Katherine said...

Great advice! Thanks! And good luck with the cougar thing. ;)

Sarah said...

Stop with the over-the-hill references, you're bumming me out! And, 30-some years of dating experience...unless you were literally inviting boys to your crib, you can knock a decade at least off that number. :)

And glad you liked the 11 Mantras...I actually really identified with those, and definitely your list, too!

Elizabeth Downie said...

Don't worry, Sarah, we are way young! I was experiencing birthday related feelings of premature old-age when I wrote this, but I am back to my old youthful self now. And I re-worded it a bit to reflect that. :)

And Katherine, you and I both know that I've been a cougar for years now, I was just playing innocent in the post - haha. ;)

Christi said...

Your tips are awesome, and all SO true. Also, I love that this is the year you will become a cougar.

That is all.

alecia said...

Great tips! I changed some of the words to give myself a pep-talk about parenting, i.e.

"10. Try not to let [parenting] impact the way you feel about yourself. You're awesome whether you['re child behaved well recently or not]. You really are. Think about all you have to offer and don't worry if you haven't [taught your kid to pee in the potty] yet. Make a list of the things that you like about yourself, or ask a friend what they like about you if [parenting] has put you in the negatives, self esteem wise."
Transferable skills from dating experience!

Heather said...

My best friend got married in her late thirties and by that time she had had an epiphany....don't change for a guy. So instead she just found someone who liked loud, clingy, drunk chicks. :) They have been happily married for almost ten years.

Ashley said...

Thanks for the good advice! I think many of us ladies spend way too much time going after the wrong kind of guys (definitely #3,5,8 of your mantras) and have harsh self-judgment (#10) when things don't end happily ever after. I'll definitely have to try the eyebrow waxing mantra...

Sui Sin Far said...

Katherine already said it. Even if you were lax on that don't date till 16 rule, that'd make you 45. In which case, you could make this the year you're a cougar. So, yeah, 2X years of dating experience. Although, maybe you are counting those baby smiles as flirting. So, okay.

Angigi said...

i wish you had like buttons on your blog ;)

Ru said...

Haha, I just found your blog and it is awesome. I especially like the eyebrow waxing advice, and intend to follow through on it STAT.

Liz said...

Could you make a how to video on flirting? And could you address flirting while online dating. I'm always confused on whether or not I should use a lot of emoticons.