Contraband

This weekend was one of the busiest I've had in a long time. I spent all day Saturday running around trying to get everything done before going to the Pistons/Jazz game that night. I didn't have time to make dinner, so I quickly toasted an English muffin to eat on my way to meet up with my friends. Knowing that wouldn't be enough to sustain me for the night, and not wanting to eat the junk they sell at sporting events, I also threw a banana, orange, and granola bar in my purse.

When we got to the game, I asked a friend if he would hide the banana in his jacket for me, knowing we'd get searched and thinking that if one of us could get some of the food through, it'd be good enough for me. He agreed and tucked the banana into his inside pocket.

When we got to the place in the arena where you get searched, I did a quick scan of the agents and chose an older man, figuring he'd be the least likely to pat me down out of a sense of decorum. I was right. As I was walking away, I searched for my friend to see if my banana had made it.

It hadn't.

I saw the agent holding it by the end with two fingers with a stern look on her face, obviously lecturing my friend on "outside food." It was hilarious and I couldn't help but laugh though I also mourned the loss of the banana. I guess she was afraid he'd start Malice at the Palace II with it. Meanwhile, I'd made it through my checkpoint with the orange, granola bar, and a couple Dove chocolates in my purse. Guess I don't look sketchy?

Another friend who was with us told us about how when she was in college, she worked at sporting events searching people for food contraband, and she had one rule: if the people were creative in the way they hid the food, she'd let them bring it in. Her best story was about a man who smuggled an entire pizza in. He did such a good job of hiding it in his shirt that she didn't even notice it. He would have gotten away with it except that my friend smelled the pizza and did a further search. But since he did such a good job of hiding it, she let him bring it in.

What's your best food smuggling story? What do you most often smuggle in? Don't worry, I'm pretty sure there's a statute of limitations on this sort of thing so you won't get in trouble. I mean, as long as all you're admitting to here is food...