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Monday, February 28, 2011

Contraband


This weekend was one of the busiest I've had in a long time. I spent all day Saturday running around trying to get everything done before going to the Pistons/Jazz game that night. I didn't have time to make dinner, so I quickly toasted an English muffin to eat on my way to meet up with my friends. Knowing that wouldn't be enough to sustain me for the night, and not wanting to eat the junk they sell at sporting events, I also threw a banana, orange, and granola bar in my purse.

When we got to the game, I asked a friend if he would hide the banana in his jacket for me, knowing we'd get searched and thinking that if one of us could get some of the food through, it'd be good enough for me. He agreed and tucked the banana into his inside pocket.

When we got to the place in the arena where you get searched, I did a quick scan of the agents and chose an older man, figuring he'd be the least likely to pat me down out of a sense of decorum. I was right. As I was walking away, I searched for my friend to see if my banana had made it.

It hadn't.

I saw the agent holding it by the end with two fingers with a stern look on her face, obviously lecturing my friend on "outside food." It was hilarious and I couldn't help but laugh though I also mourned the loss of the banana. I guess she was afraid he'd start Malice at the Palace II with it. Meanwhile, I'd made it through my checkpoint with the orange, granola bar, and a couple Dove chocolates in my purse. Guess I don't look sketchy?

Another friend who was with us told us about how when she was in college, she worked at sporting events searching people for food contraband, and she had one rule: if the people were creative in the way they hid the food, she'd let them bring it in. Her best story was about a man who smuggled an entire pizza in. He did such a good job of hiding it in his shirt that she didn't even notice it. He would have gotten away with it except that my friend smelled the pizza and did a further search. But since he did such a good job of hiding it, she let him bring it in.

What's your best food smuggling story? What do you most often smuggle in? Don't worry, I'm pretty sure there's a statute of limitations on this sort of thing so you won't get in trouble. I mean, as long as all you're admitting to here is food...

15 comments:

violet50 said...

Your story is sooo funny. I didn't realize how devious you can be. Picking a nice old man. Indeed. And this clip is so hilarious. "That makes deux of us." And "Why do I have to watch a French movie, I didn't do anything wrong?" Good luck with your future covert ops at sports arenas. Just don't try the pizza.

Christi said...

Did you know you can bring food into Comerica? Monica's dad told me that. I thought that was so cool!

We always used to go to Walmart to buy the $1 movie theater sized candy to take to the movies. I always just hid it in my purse and tried to not to jiggle it too much so the candy didn't make any noise.

Dallan said...

Story #1: Once my friend smuggled Reese's Pieces out of our dorm cafeteria by putting them in a plastic easter egg. Right as we passed the attendant, the egg slipped out of her hand, cracked open on the floor, and candy went flying everywhere.

Story #2: Bethany was at a Halloween costume party with my sister (before we even started dating). Bethany filled her elf hat full of candy from the party and then put the hat on her head. A few minutes later, they were playing pool and my sister thought it'd be funny to knock Bethany's hat off with the pool cue. Again, candy went flying everywhere. Partygoers were mad and accused her, rightfully, of stealing all their candy.

Melissa C said...

I think I have told you this before, but I once smuggled 6 canned beverages into a stadium in the sleeves of a down coat, 3 in each arm. I was also very well known for having a can of diet caffiene free pepsi on me at work at almost all times, but that wasn't really contraband, just weird of me. If not a soda, then a nalgene of water. I had a small backpack style purse that was full of them plus, bagel, yogurt, and maybe some crackers and carry it around with me on the floor of Ford plants and suppliers. You never knew when you were going to get lunch or back to your desk, so I just kept it with me all the time. People would see me open a can in the middle of the plant and give me the strangest looks, like where did THAT come from, I want one too. The worst was when I had it all eaten by 9am and was going to be there until 5, though.

AB said...

Vegas Buffets have the best food and if you carry around a Diaper Bag you can take home all the fresh fruit and napkin-wrapped desserts your little shoulder can carry. I do it every time.

Elizabeth Downie said...

Haha, Angela, you took it to the next level there. I was talking about smuggling food IN to the place, and you're talking about taking it OUT. Haha!!! I love it.

Maxabillion J said...

Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Elizabeth Downie said...

Jesse, I wish I could put that on the featured comments wall, but I think it might be too controversial. ;)

~ Malissa ~ said...

There should DEFINITELY be more comments on this post - it's hilarious!! :-)

Ok, so my Dad and I would always smuggle in mini Sunny D drinks with m&m's...never caught! Unfortunately, I think that's the only food we smuggled into the theatre when I was a kid...oh, and if the movie we were watching turned out to be a snooze, we would just go and check out the other ones lol. But, a WHOLE pizza? What the? That's impressive!! Can I ask how? Or, maybe I shouldn't...

This Wednesday night, Melanie Grant and I are going to a Cougar's bball game. Any ideas of what we should sneak in? Maybe this should be your next blog competition!

Sarah said...

I'm thinking of when we snuck in entire Jimmy John subs and to-go cups in our purses to see the movie in Ferndale!! :)

Elizabeth Downie said...

Oh my gosh, Sarah, how could I have forgotten that!? Fountain drinks under our scarves! And the people coming in at the same time had to dump their stuff. Hmm.... I guess I'm pretty good at smuggling. Good think I only use my powers for good, no evil.

This does explain why I was pulled out of line at the airport last summer and searched. They knew I was good at smuggling (like I said though, good not evil. For the record).

karajean said...

I always smuggle food into the movies, and I don't even feel bad about. I think the time it was most difficult was when I has 2 fountain drinks and greasy wetzles pretzels leaking all over everything. (Do they have wetzles pretzles in michigan?)

Nancy Face said...

I love your food smuggling story! I've been known to smuggle an entire Taco Bell meal into the movies...I bet EVERYBODY could smell its yummy-ness! Ha!

Thanks for the birthday wishes!

Sui Sin Far said...

I taped a bottle of root beer to my leg. That was actually a mistake. It exploded when I opened it.

Liz said...

I went to the movies with a guy and he smuggled in two cans of soda in his jeans pocket. I guess it was good he was wearing baggy jeans.