Contraband

This weekend was one of the busiest I've had in a long time. I spent all day Saturday running around trying to get everything done before going to the Pistons/Jazz game that night. I didn't have time to make dinner, so I quickly toasted an English muffin to eat on my way to meet up with my friends. Knowing that wouldn't be enough to sustain me for the night, and not wanting to eat the junk they sell at sporting events, I also threw a banana, orange, and granola bar in my purse.

When we got to the game, I asked a friend if he would hide the banana in his jacket for me, knowing we'd get searched and thinking that if one of us could get some of the food through, it'd be good enough for me. He agreed and tucked the banana into his inside pocket.

When we got to the place in the arena where you get searched, I did a quick scan of the agents and chose an older man, figuring he'd be the least likely to pat me down out of a sense of decorum. I was right. As I was walking away, I searched for my friend to see if my banana had made it.

It hadn't.

I saw the agent holding it by the end with two fingers with a stern look on her face, obviously lecturing my friend on "outside food." It was hilarious and I couldn't help but laugh though I also mourned the loss of the banana. I guess she was afraid he'd start Malice at the Palace II with it. Meanwhile, I'd made it through my checkpoint with the orange, granola bar, and a couple Dove chocolates in my purse. Guess I don't look sketchy?

Another friend who was with us told us about how when she was in college, she worked at sporting events searching people for food contraband, and she had one rule: if the people were creative in the way they hid the food, she'd let them bring it in. Her best story was about a man who smuggled an entire pizza in. He did such a good job of hiding it in his shirt that she didn't even notice it. He would have gotten away with it except that my friend smelled the pizza and did a further search. But since he did such a good job of hiding it, she let him bring it in.

What's your best food smuggling story? What do you most often smuggle in? Don't worry, I'm pretty sure there's a statute of limitations on this sort of thing so you won't get in trouble. I mean, as long as all you're admitting to here is food...

Short Term Goals

• "Check in" on Facebook (if you're unfamiliar with "checking in," it's that thing where you let the government and all your friends know which restaurant you're at via Facebook.)
• Either start Tweeting or get rid of Twitter.
• Learn a new, healthy, recipe that doesn't make eating healthy feel depressing.
• Watch more Portlandia.
• Start a Snow Support Group for real. Well, for real-ish.
• Finish the book I'm reading, Dewey. I'm nervous because I heard it gets sad later... Dang cats.
• Find a new celebrity crush. I'm getting tired of James Franco.
• Watch James Franco on the Oscars Sunday night and drool over him. A lot.
• Tell the snow how I really feel about it, then kick it. Hard.
• Get rid of my winter personality (grouchy) and replace it with my summer personality (elated).
• Watch Legally Blonde for something like the fourth time this winter. Love it just as much every time. If not more.

If you guys want to help me with any of these goals, that would be awesome.

What are some of your short term goals?

Wednesday Thoughts

The following is a typical conversation I have when telling a friend about a guy I'm crushing on:

Me: He's such a great guy. Really nice and cute too (sorry, I know guys hate being called cute, but I refuse to stop saying it behind your backs).
Friend: What does he look like?
Me: He's yea high, brown hair, etc, etc....
Friend: What color are his eyes?
Me: Hmmm... Um.... brown? Uh... I have no idea.

I just don't really notice eyes. Unless they really stand out for some reason - like I'm pretty sure I would notice if I were going out with a cyclops or a guy who wore an eye patch. So what do I notice? It's gotta be hair. It doesn't have to be thick and lustrous for me to like it or notice it. I was once involved with a guy who was mostly bald so he shaved his head, and I loved it. My point is just that for some reason I notice hair more than other features.  What is the thing you notice when you find someone attractive? I'm talking above the neckline, guys.

This is fresh on my mind because I'm getting my hair done today, and I can't wait. Similar to getting my eyebrows done, getting my hair done makes me feel like a new woman. Do men ever feel that way about a haircut? Somehow I doubt it.

Ok: second thought for the day: what are some websites/blogs you find entertaining? Several blogs I love have ended for whatever reason recently and I need some new ones to check when I'm bored. What are some of your favorites?

Today I also need to address something important: I have been accused of being a (gasp) Justin Bieber fan since I blogged about possibly seeing his movie on my snow day. For the record, I'm not a fan, though I'm also not not a fan (follow that?). I'm neutral. I know little to nothing about the kid except a few lines from a few of his songs, and the fact that he's from Canada. But I think the movie has to be awesome/hilarious/worth the matinee price. For purely sociological reasons. Right? I know you're judging me right now, but there's really nothing you can do to stop me from seeing this movie.

Here's my last thought for the day, and I know you're tired of hearing about it. It's about my favorite slash not favorite topic: snow. I - I can't deal with it any more. And more is coming tomorrow. About half a foot is predicted, which means it'll probably be more than that... (picture me with a blank stare right now). I'm thinking about forming a snow support group. Anyone want to join?

This is what the snow brings. I took this picture yesterday. Luckily, this is not my car, though I was one of the lucky few who didn't get stuck. A team of coworkers went outside after work with shovels to help dig each other's cars out. Is winter almost done yet? And yes, that is a tear in my eye.

I'm almost done complaining about the snow. I promise. For the record, the snow started it.

Happy Wednesday!

Decisions, Decisions

Today is a day where I need your help making decisions.

The first one is this: I recently won a blog header design competition for The Singles Ward blog. I'm really flattered because they had hundreds of entries.*

Part of my prize for winning was a bottle of cologne one of the writers of that blog uses. What should I do with it? One friend said I should have a competition on my blog where I give it away (haha). What do you think?

Now onto decision number 2:

As you know (I'm not trying to rub it in), I have a snow day today. I have several things I need to get done today, but I also have some time to kill. Here are some of the options I have for those spare moments today:

Which should I choose? 



1. Snuggle up with the dog I'm currently dog-sitting and just chill.

2. Play in the snow (I've already spent far too much time today shoveling it and digging out my car).

3. See the Justin Bieber movie: Never Say Never.

4. Catch up on my Lifetime Movies.

What do you think?

*That part is not true.

Denial

The snow isn't that bad, right? Even though it felt like spring last week, it's totally ok that it's snowing like mad today. Church ending early because of the storm, and driving home 20 miles per hour on the highway, watching cars slide off the road was perfectly fiiiiiiiine. And shoveling? I can't get enough! In fact, my muscles are craving it! I'm looking forward to driving to work on the snow and ice covered roads tomorrow, I really am!

Looking up the weather forecast and seeing this:

Snow and sleet before 7pm, then snow, freezing rain, and sleet. Some thunder is also possible.

fills my heart with joy...

Don't mind me, I'll just be sitting over here watching the snow fall, thinking about how happy it makes me.

Update: Snow Day tomorrow! Guess I shouldn't complain about the snow anymore.

Bat Daze

When I was about three or four years old, I remember this time when my brother and I were playing in the nursery at church. The nursery was in the basement at the end of a long hall. As I was looking through the toys, deciding what to play with, I saw a toy that I thought was a stuffed mouse. This next part of the story I remember very vividly, as if it happened in slow motion. I reached out to touch the fur on the back of the toy mouse, when suddenly its wings spread out and it took flight. It was a bat. My next memories of what happened involve running down the hallway screaming, mostly.

I'm thinking about that today because of something that happened at work this afternoon. It was around 1:30 and we were all dragging - you know how Friday afternoon in an office is. Suddenly I heard screaming behind me. I turned my head around and there was a huge bat, circling the room over and over again, sometimes dipping dangerously close to us. You can imagine the chaos that ensued. I immediately put the hood of my jacket up so the bat wouldn't get in my hair or bite my neck and turn me into a vampire.

I mostly stayed hidden under my hood for the entirety of the time the bat was in the office, though I peeked out from time to time to see if it was gone yet. And discovering it wasn't gone but was instead flying at me then away, then at me then away, I couldn't help but join in the squealing a little bit. Just as I was considering hiding under my desk, the bat flew out of the office, saving me from that embarrassment.

At that point, some brave coworkers figured out a way to get the bat out of the building. Now I'm scared to go outside, but I feel safe in the office at least.

In the aftermath of Bat Attack 2011, we all reflected on what had just happened. Some people had been brave, some (not naming any names) not so much. Some were embarrassed by how much they had screamed, some were proud of their heroic efforts to get it out. Some recounted how they'd tried to get away, but the bat had blocked their paths. Justin said he thought he made eye contact with it as it flew over our partition wall.

Not saying I'm grateful a bat got in the office, but it was certainly one of the most interesting things that's happened at work in awhile and it got us through the afternoon. Even if I do have to spend the evening researching rabies symptoms (just in case my hood wasn't as impenetrable as I hoped).

Featured Comments

You guys crack me up. In fact, people often tell me, "your blog is funny, but the comments are even better."

First of all, ouch. But secondly, it's true. Your comments are awesome. So I decided to try out a "featured" wall for awhile where I showcase some of the comments that made me laugh out loud. I'll rotate them through as I add new ones. So far there's just one posted because I started with the most recent post. But don't worry, more will be added with time.

Don't be hurt if your comment isn't up there. I love all my kids the same, I promise.*

So head over the right column and check back for updates!

*Ew. I don't think of any of you as my kids, for the record. That would be weird. Also for the record, I don't have any kids.

Don't blame me, I was raised in the 80's

The very CD that caused the fight

Thanks to a certain evil friend of mine who keeps writing the lyrics to "You're the Inspiration" on our friends Facebook pages, I've had that song in my head for about a week. Tonight I finally caved and just listened to it, half loving it, half embarrassed by it, half reminiscing (I was never good at math).

It reminded me of years ago when I witnessed an actual fight about whether or not the singer of that song, Peter Cetera, was any good. I was hosting a party and had recently purchased a Peter Cetera greatest hits CD which I'd accidently left out on a table. Why I admit these things on my blog, I have no idea.

Anyway, I should have hidden it before people got to the party but was too busy setting up for it and forgot. Someone found it and starting talking about how much she loved Peter Cetera. Someone else chimed in that he "sucked," if I recall correctly. The first person truly took this to heart and a heated debate ensued.

Over Peter Cetera.

About 20 years after he was popular.

Thinking about this while listening to "You're the Inspiration" (and subsequently "Glory of Love" and it only snowballed from there), I realized I had to take this to you. Please vote on the poll. Peter Cetera can be quite a divisive character, I have learned from experience, so try not to say anything you'll regret.

For your listening/judging pleasure:

You're the Inspiration
Glory of Love
Hard to Say I'm Sorry
If You Leave Me Now

I can't stress this enough: this decision should not be taken lightly. Vote now, and follow your heart.

Wednesday Thoughts

This is going to be a true Wednesday Thoughts, in the sense that you can expect no connectivity from one item to the next. In fact, I think I will number each thought, so that when you start on a new paragraph, you don't think, "what the H!? She was talking about sardines and now she's talking about rainbows!?" Though, just to be clear, I don't plan on talking about either of those topics. Not this week anyway.

Let's begin.

1. What is it about freshly fallen snow that makes you just want to fall backwards into it? I've felt that urge many times this winter. I've resisted so far because I remember, from doing that many, many times as a kid, that when you fall backwards into snow, you end up laying in snow. Which is wet. And cold. That's probably why people started doing snow angels, really. They couldn't resist the call of the snow, but once there, realized they'd better keep moving or they'd freeze.

2. I realized recently that I haven't cried in a long time. Maybe a tear or two has welled up in my eyes from time to time, but I haven't cried. And I have to admit, I miss the catharsis of it. I think most of the women reading (and some of the men, though they'd never admit it) will relate to what I'm saying.

I've thought about watching a sad movie to force a cry but not really sure I should push it. My 100% guaranteed-to-make-me-cry movie is Little Women. What's yours?

3. I'd like to get a tablet to go with my PC but know very little about them. Do any of you use one? Do you have any recommendations?

4. I turned against winter this week. I've been surprisingly tolerant of winter this year, but yesterday I was fed up. I think it was the wind. The wind that crosses over the snow, reaching out its tentacles and grabbing some of the snow's cold as it passes over, then hits me full force, cutting through my coat and many layers of clothing. It's cold. So, so cold. (And don't give me this "it's been nice lately." Giving us short reprieves is one of winter's little tricks. Plus, it's still cold. Sorry, I can't be talked out of this.)

5. I made a winter themed blog header to replace my Valentine's header but had to change it quickly after winter punched me in the face yesterday, in case you were wondering where it went. Hopefully winter and I will get on good terms again, since we have awhile to go yet! I think it's time to get out the winter survival kit.

And on that note,

Happy Wednesday!

I Like You

One of the things people hate about Valentine's Day is the pressure to find a Valentine. Well, I'm here to help - I'll be your Valentine! But just for the day, don't go getting any ideas.

In fact, I already wrote you a Valentine's Day card. So go ahead, print it out, and enjoy the day free of that Charlie Brown feeling. If the chocolates and flowers I ordered for you don't make it to you today, blame it on the postal service, not me. 

So here's my card to you. Yep, just you. Enjoy! And don't worry if you hate Valentine's Day because guess what Tuesday is? The day after Valentine's Day! We're almost there. Now because I know we each have our own style when it comes to Valentine's, I will give you two options and you can choose which you think suits you better. Just know that whichever card you choose, I mean it from the bottom of my heart. Happy Valentine's Day!

Scantrons ready?

I've had a few things on my mind lately that I've been wanting to ask you all about! So instead of writing out an entire blog post for each question, I thought I'd make a little "quiz" (ish) to find out what you all think about these questions. I know some of you have midterms coming up in a couple weeks - don't let that scare you away from this quiz! It'll be easy and painless, I promise.

So go ahead and pull up the comment form now so you can answer as you go.

Pencils ready?

1. A poll was done in Michigan recently to find out if people from Michigan prefer to be called Michiganders or Michiganians. The poll found that most prefer Michigander. This has been a debate in Michigan my entire life and I doubt it will end any time soon. Which do you prefer?

A. Michigander
B. Michiganian
C. Other (Fill in the blank)

2. A movie is coming out this weekend called Gnomeo and Juliet. I can't decide if it looks amusing or awful, though my initial response was a furrowed brow. Do you want to see it?

A. Yes
B. No
C. Not enough money in the world to make me see that movie.


3. Valentine's Day is Monday! Are you going to:

A. Celebrate it happily
B. Acknowledge it in my own way
C. Pretend it's not happening
D. Actively and aggressively hate it



Extra Credit:

Several people have asked me lately where the "must visit" places are in Michigan. So to my Michigaxxxxx (people from Michigan) friends, what do you think? (If you're not from Michigan and you want the extra credit*, you can tell us a good place to visit where you live.)

A. Mackinac Island
B. Ludington
C. Sleeping Bear Dunes
D. Detroit
E. Other (fill in the blank)


*Extra credit points go toward nothing, since there are no right or wrong answers, so don't strain yourself.

Visiting Grandma

I'm overdue to blog about my grandma. You might remember my grandma from some of the dating advice she's given me, such as: wear your hair curly, bake him brownies, and unbutton that top button!

I've been spending more time with her than usual lately because winter gets her down a bit. Plus, she's 91 now and often tells me that "it's awful hard to have to live so long." So I am trying to take advantage of the time I have with her.

Since I've been spending more time with her, we've pretty much exhausted her old favorite subject (why I'm not married yet), and have become better friends. She's been telling me some great stories from her life, and I've been enjoying my visits with her quite a bit.

Yesterday I went over to see her and she had a plate of various cookies out and told me that she'd already poured two glasses of ginger ale for us and they were in the refrigerator, if I could grab them. We sat down together and I gave her a photo album I recently made for her for her birthday. She said something funny that I wanted to share with you all. After admiring the picture on the cover, which is of her with two of her great granddaughters, she said,

"I actually like that photo. I don't usually like pictures of myself. They resemble me too much."

Pretty much sums up the way I feel about pictures of myself too! I've just never put it as well as that. Oh, Grandma.

Wednesday Thoughts

This past Saturday afternoon, I left the house looking forward to a nice little walking tour of Ann Arbor with some beautiful snow on the ground. Little did I (or anyone) know what was in store that afternoon: six more inches of the fluffy stuff. The weatherman totally blew it this time, pretty much saying, "oops!" that night.

That was the day my attitude about the snow changed - it was beautiful. Big, fluffy flakes, with fast accumulation. I didn't even mind driving home in it later - you know that feeling when you're turning a corner on a snowy road and the back end of your car starts to kinda spin out? Yeah, it didn't bother me. Not that I want to go driving in it all the time or anything - I mean, it's still dangerous. But I guess when you get this much snow this fast, you just adjust. Or cry. I've chosen to adjust. (Don't hold me to this in a few weeks when you see me crying.)

I saw a couple funny photos on Facebook this week from our recent snow and I thought I'd share them (with permission). I've added little captions to them in case you're trying to figure out what's going on:

My uncle Eric's neighbor's car



My friend Jordan's friend's truck after driving through those snow piles
(and breaking his muffler in half in the process).

 

If you want to see more pictures of the snow, here's a link to my picture blog, which, I might add, recently got a new look! If you want to think all warm thoughts though, don't go there.

So, every week at the end of one of my favorite NPR programs, Pop Culture Happy Hour, they ask the question, "what's making you happy this week?" Then they go around the panel and everyone answers. Since we're in the dead of winter and only a few lunatics are enjoying it, I thought it'd be nice to focus on what's making us happy this week. I'll go first:

A new Modern Family tonight!

The temps are supposed to get into the high 30's this weekend!

Valentine's Day!

Now it's your turn. What's making you happy this week?

Happy Wednesday!

Super Bowl Night

My Super Bowl experience tonight straddled two parties - both were full of friends I love and lots of delicious food. Here are some of the highlights:

1. I learned what  a down is. For real.

2. My friend, Jordan, beat the levels of Angry Birds that I hadn't been able to beat on my phone.

3. I saw the first third of the game in Spanish for some inexplicable reason.

4. I heard the following conversation:
Jim: So is American Idol any good this season?
Adam: No one knows. There's no way to know for sure.

5. I got proposed to (not a real proposal - it was a proposal based solely on how good the cookies I made were). Still counts though.

6. I saw the most amazing commercial. Not the Darth Vader one, though that one was amazingly cute, but the "Imported from Detroit" one. When this commercial came on, the room slowly started quieting down as everyone recognized familiar places. We rewound it and watched it again and the second time through, the room was dead silent as everyone took it in. Detroit is an amazing city and that commercial was one of the definite highlights of the night.

Here are a few pictures from tonight followed by the commercial. Check it out!

(The last picture is my friend rubbing his eyes after playing Angry Birds for two hours.)

Reflections on Football

The Super Bowl is this Sunday and though I have no idea who's playing (I just know for sure it's not the Lions), I find myself looking forward to it every year. I think it's the combination of good food, funny commercials, and time with friends that makes it so fun for me.

The thing about me is, I like football, but I don't get it. I get that two teams are competing to get the ball down to their end of the field, or something to that effect. But what I don't get, and what I will never get, is what a "down" is. I don't consider myself a slow person - I think I have at least average intelligence. But I dare one of you to try to explain to me what a down is. Give it a try - I'll let you know if one of the explanations clicks. It's possible I've just never cared enough to really try to figure it out.

In high school, I went to every football game. Not because I was a huge fan but because... (this is the first time I've said this on my blog) I was in marching band. Yes, marching band - only the coolest of all extracurricular activities, obviously. Oh, and not only was I in marching band, but I played (you are not ready for this, I guarantee it) the trombone. I told you you weren't ready for it.

In regular band I played the flute (which I hated), but since my school's marching band didn't have flutes in it, I had to learn a new instrument. And since there was a shortage of trombones, that's what I learned. And I have to admit, I loved it. Both the trombone and marching band. If you were never in marching band, I guess you probably wouldn't get it, but for those of you who were in it, you know what I'm talking about. Marching band was so fun, and so hilarious, and basically, so awesome. I feel better now that that's out there.

Anyway, my point is, I went to all the football games my high school ever had (home games, that is), yet there's much about the game I don't understand. Still, football holds a special place in my heart. In the fall, I like having the games on the t.v. in the background on a Saturday afternoon even though I only have a vague idea about what's going on. Touchdowns, I get. Beyond that, who knows.

But to me, it doesn't even really matter. It's just the spirit of football that I enjoy the most. I'm not even sure yet if I'm going to watch the game on Sunday, but if I do, I'll just be soaking in the atmosphere most likely. Though I suppose maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing to understand what a "down" is. Even if I'm only watching the game for the marching band and commercials.

What do you watch the Super Bowl for? I think I'll post a poll so you can weigh in!

Wednesday Thoughts

Today I was thinking about the color green. Summer, in my mind, is green - lush, green grass, warm green hillsides, and tall green trees. As I drove around a bit today, all I saw was white. White is the color of winter.

But the snow was sparkling and beautiful today, and as I walked through it, taking pictures, I didn't hate it. In fact, I was amazed by how pretty it was. I blame vitamin D for my recent occasional spurts of winter tolerance. (Having the day off doesn't hurt either.)

For more pictures, or to see some of these larger, go here

This morning, Punxsutawney Phil, the known liar, predicted that spring will come early this year. But I've been hurt by that groundhog before. Spring will come when it always comes - in about 10 weeks. Wait - 10 weeks doesn't sound too bad, does it? I'm pretty sure I can make it through 10 weeks. Well, kinda sure. Like, 32% sure. A warm mug of hot cocoa could boost that up to a solid 38%.

I'm about to snuggle up under a blanket and watch Groundhog Day, so I will leave you with a quote from said movie:

You want a prediction about the weather, you're asking the wrong Phil. I'll give you a winter prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life. - Phil

And you thought I had a bad attitude about winter?! Actually I figured out the secret to surviving winter, and here it is:
 

Vitamin D

Warm blankets

Good movies

Heated car seats

Good friends

Leg warmers and knee socks (together)

 
If you have anything to add, please do.
 
Happy Wednesday!

Snowtorious B.I.G.

Hey guys. Remember "sick girl?" The girl who kept posting nonstop, whining about how sick she was? Well don't worry, I got rid of her. Unfortunately, I replaced her with snowday girl, who is almost as annoying as sick girl.

For the last five days or so, all I've been hearing about is the blizzard that's been heading this way. Today at work I was talking about it with my friend Justin and we agreed that the blizzard needed a name. We weren't satisfied with Snowmageddon, and Snowpocalypse was already taken. So after a bit of googling for a better idea, we agreed on Snowtorious B.I.G.

The storm is so snowtorious that school (and by extension, my job) has already been canceled for tomorrow and the storm has just barely begun. Besides the fact that I get the day off work, I'm kind of excited for all this snow. It's rare that we get over a foot of snow at once in this part of Michigan. 

After work I decided to stop by the store and stock on up some essentials, including, but not limited to, butterscotch pudding and mini marshmallows (I bought some healthy things too, so stop judging me). The man in front of me in the check out line had three gallons of milk, and that's all. A friend of mine saw a guy at her grocery store with an entire shopping cart full of beer. If you knew you were going to be snowed in for a couple days, what would you stock up on?

I leave you now with a snowtorious rapper, The Blizzard Man.



(This video might be considered PG by some of you, so consider yourself warned.)