Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Three Gifts I do NOT want for Christmas

Of all the junk mail I get, my favorite by far is the Harriet Carter catalogue. It's chock-full of oddities. Some of them useful, like the dachshund door draft stopper.  But most are just.... weird. Here are three things I beg of you not to get me for Christmas this year.

The fanny bank: this bank actually makes "sounds" when you put money in it. If there is someone in your life who you truly hate, you may purchase it here.

Snowman toilet cover. This is just awkward. Honestly, it wouldn't feel right using this toilet. Think about it.

The knit dickey. Not only does it have a super embarrassing name but can you even imagine wearing this? You'd know you weren't really wearing a shirt under your blazer and unless you have that thing taped in there, I have no idea how it wouldn't ride up, revealing what it was meant to cover. The only person who can pull off a dickey is Cousin Eddie from Christmas Vacation. Am I right?

If there's something you don't want for Christmas, now's the time to put it out there. There's still time!


Katherine said...

Oh wow. Those are TERRIBLE!!!! I don't want any of those things, either!! I also don't want rock-hard fruit cake or that cold everyone is passing around. I've already had it once, and if I remember correctly, no take-backs!

Heather said...

Cousin Eddy rocks.
I only wish you had put that butt piggy bank up sooner. It would never get here in time to give my brother for Christmas.

Ashley said...

I can't believe those items even exist! Who would buy those for someone? Weirdos would I guess. And I suppose there's plenty of those to go around. Funny post, Elizabeth. :)

Vaughn said...

Id love the fanny bank.....What kind of noises does it make? I only know the ones from things going out of the fanny bank...I may need to ask.....JUSTIN?!

I dont know why everyone hasta hate, id take any of these gems, and show them off to everyone i saw.

Mark said...

I have a couple of oversized male friends. On more occasions than I care to remember, their posture has presented me with an opportunity to "drop a coin in the slot". So far, I've resisted the urge.

Would use of the bank divert me from temptation, or would it only reinforce my yearning for 25 cents of cheap humor?

Linda said...

Who thinks up these things?