Saturday, February 6, 2010

Story Time

Last night after a lively 60th birthday party for my mom, I was wiped out. So I decided to lay down on the couch for a bit and rest. To my delight, my niece (5) and nephew (3) hopped on the couch to snuggle up with me. To keep them entertained I decided to tell them a story.

The first story that came to mind was Goldilocks and the 3 bears but they already knew that one and Paige took over telling it about half way through. So I went back in my memory bank and pulled up Hansel and Gretel. It had been awhile since I'd thought about that story and as I was telling it, I found myself increasingly uncomfortable with its contents.

My telling of it went something like this (parts in parenthesis are my thoughts):

Once upon a time there was a boy named Hansel and a girl named Gretel. Their parents were poor and decided to (uh oh, should I say this part?) um... get rid of them because they were too poor to feed them. Well...story goes on...bread made of turned out that the house belonged to a witch who wanted to (gulp - is this information going to do any permanant damage?) eat them. (Why does there have to be cannibalism in this story?!)

So, the kids stay there as her slaves...she fattens them on and so forth... but when the witch wasn't paying attention, (oh boy...) they pushed her into the oven and burned her alive. (How is that ok to tell to kids!?)

But neither kid seemed the slightest bit disturbed. In fact, Paige told me that she heard a different version in school and she wanted to tell it to me. In her version, the kids pushed the witch into a cauldron so they could eat her. I said, "I don't think they wanted to eat her, I think they wanted to run to freedom." She just said, "Oh, yeah." At the end of Paige's story, the evil step mother was eaten by crocodiles. Paige seemed very happy with this ending, clearly feeling that justice had been served.

And here I thought my version would scare them. I guess I know nothing about kids. Either that or kids are ok with cannibalism. I guess I'd better watch my back.

*Don't forget, there's still one more day to enter the giveaway below!


The Boob Nazi said...

I snuggled with my niece and nephew last time I was home too. It was amazing. Sigh. I can't wait to go home.

David and Linda said...

That is so funny. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. That's why I could never understand why you and your siblings never like Pinnochio. It's a FAIRY TALE and most kids, for some reason, just aren't usually disturbed by the main characters being turned into donkeys and being swallowed by a whale. It just goes with the territory.

Katherine said...

My goodness, I think I'm scarred now and I'm not a even a kid! (Technically.) I'm also questioning whether or not I should have kids. Or teach them. But then again, our nieces and nephews are so adorable! I'm so torn. Have adorable kids and being looking over my shoulder every time I start boiling water? Or no kids but possibly get thrown to the crocodiles after all? And Mom, Pinnochio is terrifying. TERRIFYING!!

Heather said...

Pinnochio is demented Mom. So messed up that I won't let my crocodile loving kids watch it.

This post got me thinking. The kids really don't watch anything but cartoons. But cartoons are messed up! Paige pretended to smoke the other day and told me she learned it from Donald Duck! Then I was watching Looney tunes with her and there were ducks standing there smoking!
Then we watched Anastasia, and Rasputen (sp?) melts into bones and discustingness. I was horrified!

I tell you all this so you don't think I sit up at night and let the kids watch horror films. :)

Priscilla said...

Good thing your nieces and nephews have you for an aunt!

The other day Sophie was telling me she thinks that the song/story "There was an old lady who swallowed a fly" is really weird because she finds it hard to believe you could die from swallowing a fly.

Kathy said...

I used to LOVE it when my dad told me the story of Hansel and Gretel.I don't think I ever put two and two together until I was an adult. I was always happy when they pushed the witch into the furnace. That's so messed up.

Have you ever noticed how terrifying Disney movies are? The witch from Sleeping Beauty gave me nightmares when I was like 16!!!

Mark said...

I once told my nieces I thought they were delicious and now my sister-in-law won't let me visit.

Vaughn said...

i heard all these stories....look how i ended up...OK bad example. Kids have an imagination far beyond the stories you can tell them, i think it may even be a good thing to expand their their minds and thought process. I also think they are completely clueless and dont think of the logistics of eating someone or killing like that, so it is just a nice story

Where to go from HERE said...

Alright, you really are just super funny. Love the side thoughts.