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Monday, January 9, 2012

Birthday Shtuff

My birthday is later this week. I've been anticipating it since July. But not in the excited way that a seven year old does. More in the "I can't believe I'm going to be that old" way. If anyone asks how old I am, the consequences will be dire, just so you know. In fact, I'm thinking that from now on, when someone asks how old I am, I will just say, "adult." Wouldn't it be nice if after a certain age, you could just give that answer?

In case you were wondering, here's what an adult does on their birthday:

Wake up at 5:30
Sort out my pills for the day
Read the paper (obituaries)
Drink a Slimfast
Go to work
Eat dinner at 4:30 (early bird special)
Take some Boniva
Do my taxes
Call NPR with a complaint about a grammatical error
Write out a five year plan
Check my head for gray hairs
Shout at some kids to get off my lawn
Drink some Metamucil
Get really T.O.ed about politics
Go to bed by 9:00


(I'm actually about fifty years too young for that plan, don't worry. I'm having a real party - with friends, cake, and maybe some Boniva milk shakes.)

4 comments:

Katherine said...

I think I'm going to Peter Pan it and never grow up... Also, I'll have cake in place of my Boniva shake, please!! Happy Birthday Week!!! It's always fun to drag a birthday out!

lizzie mc.- said...

I have your birthday on my calendar and have been looking forward to it very excitedly. I know I can't do the things you did for me since I'm not there, but I'm so happy for you in my life. So here is a mental string of Christmas lights, a piece of construction paper cut with scrapbooking scissors, and sugar cookies with grape jelly. My favorite kid from AFV this week...? "Mom, guess what?! I was born on my birthday!" And I'm so very glad you were! So have some cake and eat it too!

violet50 said...

Funny blog! Fortunately I don't fit this picture. All right, so I sort my pills once a week and look at the obits. And while I grouse about grammatical errors, I don't actually call about them. And I have a hard time coming up with a one week plan and adhering to it. Enjoy your birthday!! You're beautiful, inside and out.

april millar said...

Happy Birthday to you! I kind of wish you would do this list on your birthday because that would be a very memorable birthday, then in 50 years from now you can go clubbing.