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Monday, June 20, 2011

High Maintenance

I don't like to think of myself as high maintenance. I mean, yes, I highlight my hair, and yes, I get my eyebrows done. I'm not opposed to getting an occasional pedicure or a massage. And I try not to yell at the servants but sometimes they need to be reminded to stay on task.

But other than that, I'm way low maintenance.

The only time I feel high maintenance is when it comes to camping, which I'm not a huge fan of. I know I should hide that so guys will think I'm outdoorsy and will want to marry me, but I may as well confess, I'm not much of a camper.

When I was a kid, we never went camping. At least, not the kind where you use tents and cook your food over the fire and just generally "rough it." We'd occasionally borrow a camper and stay at a campsite, but we'd usually eat out. My dad always said his version of camping was staying at the Holiday Inn. So really, I can blame my upbringing for my discomfort with camping.

As an adult, I have gone camping with friends several times, and I guess it's ok. I mean, I like the roasting marshmallows part, talking around the campfire, and playing cards in the tent. I don't like the sleeping on the hard ground part, the can't-sleep-because-I'm-freezing-part, the "what's that sound? I'm sure it's a bear" part, the frizzy hair part, the dirty face part, or the part where you never feel clean and there's always marshmallow on your fingers.

I feel like April, from Parks and Rec, who said in reference to a camping trip she was forced to go on, "I don't even want to be here! The air is too fresh - it's disgusting. I can't breathe. And there's a brook somewhere that won't stop babbling. SHUT UP!"


Too much of a princess to camp. (Not my real bosoms.)

I do like the outdoors though. In fact, I love the outdoors. I love hiking and swimming and riding bikes. I just prefer to go inside and sleep in a safe warm comfy bed at night.

Am I the only one out there willing to admit this? If you love camping, maybe you can tell me what I can do to make it a better experience for myself! Being a diva's getting old.

18 comments:

Ashley said...

I'm the same way. My family never went camping, and my body hates sleeping on anything that isn't a bed. I'm not fun to be around when I'm tired and dirty, so it's for the best that I don't camp.
Which Austen novel did you steal those bosoms from, by the way?

Sandy said...

i was recently trying to reconcile the fact that my parents apparently dislike camping with my many memories of childhood camp outs. my dad solved the mystery when he reminded me that our "camp outs" were never more than a few nights and those few nights were bookended by hotel stays and restaurant dinners. i, on the other hand, love camping, and i recommend making a trip to rei and buying unnecessary but fun camping equipment to make it better: miniature dishes and utensils, a portable flame for heating up water, and a pad for making the ground less ground-like.

Amy said...

I'm so glad you wrote this! I always think I probably shouldn't admit that I feel something less than wild enthusiasm when people say, "Let's go camping!" I don't mind camping every once in awhile if it's what other people really, really want to do - I've had good camping experiences, and I will occasionally put up with camping in order to visit places I really want to go without paying a lot of money. And I like roasting marshmallows and playing cards in tents and being in the outdoors. But I also like warm showers and soft beds and not freezing and staying away from mosquitoes and not being able to smell the bathroom.

It feels like such a relief to get that off my chest. I've been holding it in, because Utah is the Land of People Who Like Camping. And to complicate matters, the bishop asked me to be the ward YW camp director, which means that I have actually been called and set apart to be wildly enthusiastic about a five day camping trip.

brenda hatch said...

DITTO!

Maxabillion J said...

YOU SAID BOSOMS!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ben said...

drive up in a van with a mattress in it and use that as your tent. Woohoo!

Doug said...

I've never been camping in Michigan, so I don't know what it's like here, but as a kid we would camp on the beach in Oregon and I loved it! Instead of dirt everywhere, it's sand, which might be worse, but the ground is relatively soft to sleep on. We would go crabbing every day and have fresh crab for dinner. SOO good. I like camping in Arizona in the summers too, because the mountains were the only place that got cool and it felt so nice to have the air smell cold instead of filled with air conditioning. When we camped in Utah, it was usually in cabins, so I can't really say I've been camping there :) Ooo, and most camping I've done was for one night, and if it was for more, then there were showers at the campsite... Well, there's my two cents.

roadworthrunning said...

HAHA! I love this post because I seriously feel like I could have written the same thing word for word! I don't like being dirty, and I don't like bugs, therefore camping isn't really for me, but I too LOVE the outdoors and being around a fire, etc! I think we need to create a camping trip with showers, no bugs, and a bathroom! I'd then be a happy camper (pun intended!)

Savd said...

Ok, I gotta step in on the pro-camping side. :) While everything you described is true, I guess to me that's the point. You get to be removed from your comfort zone, you get to be dirtier than normal, you get to be closer to nature...I like it! :)

Katherine said...

I'm with you, E! I've always feared admitting my distaste for camping. I like the idea of camping, but not the actual act itself. I'm all for cooking on a campfire (hobo dinners, anyone?), roasting marshmallows, singing camping songs, being in nature, etc. But I also don't/can't sleep when I'm camping, which makes me super grumpy, and spoils the fun. I wouldn't mind camping in a nice travel trailer!

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Claire said...

I cannot tell you how much I loved this.

All I have to say is... MEEEE TOO!!!!!!!

Mark said...

Elizabeth, get a sturdy air mattress and a warm sleeping bag, even for summertime. So much of a campout experience depends on getting a good night's sleep. Use a pump for the air matress. If you have to blow it up using lung power, sometime in the middle of the night you'll wish you put more air in it.

Move your tent far away from the campfire and the tents of the teenagers. At two o'clock in the morning, crawl out of your tent like a grumpy old bear and tell the 23-year olds singing around the campfire to shut the #@!! up. Repeat at three, substituting stronger language. The next day everyone else will thank you.

Even boys are grossed out by the soggy toilet paper in the latrine. Bring your own roll.

Heather said...

It is Africa hot here so we generally avoid camping. What do I mean generally...I think have camped five times my whole life.

I can generally handle everything, but the hot, sleeping on the ground feeling.

I need my sleep!

So..no, I have no suggestions. Sorry.

lizzie mc.- said...

Yea Mark! Air Mattresses or a good cot. And can I say polar fleece? It's the only thing that can be damp (and won't feel it) but will still be warm.

I'm with you when it comes to large animals. Store the food in a 5 gallon bucket a good distance from camp from a tree. Less critters.

But I love camping... in a cabin. It has all the perks and none of the drawbacks. Better yet, a youth hostile:D

AE Jones said...

I'm laughing so hard because you totally just described me. I don't like camping. Period. I LOVE the outdoors, but don't like camping. I really don't consider myself to be high maintenance either, but when it comes to cleanliness and organization, camping breaks both of those rules for me. I'm a little OCD. And, I burst out laughing at the "not my real bosoms" comment. That's me too. LOL!

Sui Sin Far said...

Haha, all the things you said you hate about camping I totally love.

Liz said...

I think I like camping. As a kid my family always went camping for vacation and as I got into my teenage years I absolutely loved girls camp. I never minded sleeping on the hard ground, being dirty, smelling like smoke from sitting around the camp fire, being cold at night. But as I've gotten older i have come to not really like those things but I always forget I don't like those things. So when someone asks me to go camping I am always so excited and then I go camping and it comes back to me and I say to myself "that's right, I don't like this" I call this phenomenon "Camping amnesia"