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Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Wednesday Thoughts

Is it ok to go to a movie on a first date? I know a lot of people think it's not but I have to say that I disagree. But I do think that either before or after the movie, you should do something that gives you the chance to talk.

Sometimes I think the dinner and a movie date gets a bad rap. Personally, I like it. I love going to the movies and if someone else is paying - bonus. Plus, you get to sit close to the person and get clues about how they feel about you during the movie. Is he leaning close to you or away from you? Is he protecting you during the scary scenes? Wait, did he just laugh at that sexist joke? Did he ask, "wait, who's that guy?" more than three times? These are all very important things to know.

And let's be honest, if you're not feeling into the person you're on the date with, at least you can enjoy an hour and half of not talking with them.

If you're not sure how to behave on a movie date, check out this hilarious web page I stumbled upon while looking for an image for this post.

Anyway, I recently had a discussion about this with a guy friend. He thinks movie dates are definitely not for the first date. What do you think? And more importantly I guess, what does make a good first date?

I've been on a few good first dates (and some really bad ones - but those are stories for another day) - the zoo, putt putt, dinner, the usual. On one first date, we went for a long drive in the country then went out to eat. This one made me a little anxious because I didn't know the guy that well and in the back of my mind I sort of wondered if he was driving me out to the country so he could murder me and hide my body. But he didn't, so I'd say it was a good date idea. Wait, that makes it sound like I judge if a date is good by whether or not I was murdered. I like to think my expectations are slightly higher than that. I judge it based on whether or not punches were thrown.

Moving on the other Wednesday Thoughts. Remember the post I did titled "He Thinks You're Cute"? Well, the guys over at the Singles Ward blog wrote a post about it with their insights on the topic. It's pretty interesting and gives a guys point of view! Check it out here (link) if you'd like.

Oh, and if you're wondering, I haven't seen Pierce yet. (Sigh.) But I'll keep you updated!

Happy Wednesday.

11 comments:

Deb said...

Keeping fingers crossed you see Pierce (((sigh))). Keep your camera handy---yes, its ok to be that girl :)

Katherine said...

I think a movie date is totally OK! If you don't know the person well yet, it's definitely a good chance to read the person's body language, like you said. And it's nice to be together and not have to fill every second with conversation on your first excursion! (I like the wiki-how tips, though. Very helpful!) I guess it depends on the guy, too. If it's Pierce Brosnan, I might not get much out of the movie due to the staring, giggling, and drooling (from me and everyone else around), so a better option might be a romantic stroll in Wurster Park. ;)
Congrats on the shout-out in that blog!! That's awesome! You're famous(ish)!!!!

Where to go from HERE said...

If you feel that you are going to spend time getting to know one another and a movie is still an option you should see the movie. If the date isn't that interesting as well you can just make the excuse that you are tired after it and go home. Either way I guess it can be a win win, especially if its a good movie.

Sarah said...

My fave part from the how-to movie-date site:

"...a simple kiss on the lips will do; then she will hold your hand and never let go of it!" HAHAHA!!!

I think movies are fun for what you mentioned...it's dark, you are relying on body language, you can get some good indicators about how you handle awkward moments (ex: extreme movie kissing scenes...do you laugh or both get totally awkward). STILL, I am a huge believer in active/cultural dates. Movies can be later on in the process...I used to always suggest ice-skating as a first date for every guy I went out with in college. It was so fun!! And, I'd usually suggest the Art Museum as a second date. Also very eye-opening about their deeper level. :) I rarely eat on first/second dates...as you've blogged about before, it's much too risky!! :)

Robin said...

I've got nothing for you on first date suggestions. It's been a long time since I've been on one. And a really long time since I've been on a GOOD one. So there you go. On a positive note, there is an award for you on my blog. I hope you drop by and pick it up....

D said...

I think Dinner and a movie dates are great too. Though they are a questionable first date unless you already know the person pretty well. Other more interactive dates are better for the first date if you are just getting to know them. But being a movie person myself I think it's important to know what kind of a movie watcher a person is ie whether they talk a lot or chew their food loudly... all important things to know about a guy.

My husband planned marathon dates when we were first dating. It was interesting to me and impressive to see how well he had listened to the things I liked in our previous conversations. The dates he planned all had activities or food in them that I had mentioned that I liked. They were great dates and I wish we had time for them now!

I love htat you are a category on the Singles Ward page. :)

Linda said...

I think the most important thing IS to not be murdered on your first date. That being accomplished, movies are good because you have something to talk about if you go out for ice cream/hot chocolate later.

Drake said...

I'd say dinner and a movie dates are classic for a reason...and that reason is several reasons...and you already listed them :)

Besides, if the guy you're dating is worth dating, you'll have fun no matter what you end up doing. The car ride TO the date will be fun.

Ryan @ The Singles Ward said...

Leave the movie for the second or third date when you've got the water in the pan and on the stove with some heat on it. A first date for a guy is getting a little deeper than your looks, while still admiring them, and maybe getting to the touch barrier.

Movies on true first dates tell little about a guys feelings for you. If he doesn't move in, he could just be shy or think it's inappropriate to move like that on a first date. If he does move in and put his arm around you, hold your hand, or otherwise, it says only 3 things for certain: You're cute, you smell good, and you didn't totally turn him off during dinner.

Two physical things and one attribute (sort of) that reveals little other than he still finds you physically attractive. Some shallower LDS guys can even totally forgive the third if he thinks the other two are strong. Of course, that kind of guy is probably thinking low lights, close proximity, romantic movie, first date, NCMO.

Doesn't sound so deep now does it? For a guy, there isn't much to grab onto yet to even think relationship. He's known you for maybe a couple hours, of course he still likes your looks and smell, and probably the flirting over "getting to know a little bit about you" dinner. Let him go home and think about it a little bit while temporarily marking his territory with his buddies.

If he's making those moves on a second or third date at the movies, you're welcome to read into it a bit more.

BTW: Thank you Elizabeth for the reference to our blog. Yes, you do have your own category. We're hoping to be able to use some of your future posts as inspiration for our own.

Angela said...

so, my brother's band, Mainstreet Soul, got the gig to be the church band in Salvation Boulevard. they spent two days on the set - my brother text me when he met Pierce!!! He shook his hand even!!! He said that Pierce was really nice and came in and introduced himself to everyone and what not. My brother also said that Jennifer Connolly needs to eat a whopper or two. Just sayin'! :)

Liz said...

The weirdest first date I went on was to a guys grandmas birthday party. I met his whole family, they were all very nice however that didn't convince me to like him. Awkward.
Thanks for linking to that wikihow page. I now know that I have been initiating kissing all wrong.