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Thursday, October 28, 2010

The Year 3000

Remember the last time you tried to break a pinata? You got blindfolded, spun around several times, and then you were left to your own devices in that disoriented state. That's exactly how I felt after my experience in the Apple store yesterday.

A couple weeks ago I noticed that only one of my earbuds was working on my iPhone. I thought I could live with it for awhile, but I only lasted a couple weeks before it became too annoying. So yesterday I went to the Apple store in the mall.

As I walked into the three walled store, I was greeted by two very friendly employees who asked me what I needed. I mentioned earbuds, and was whisked off by one of them into the most sterile, futuristic store I've ever been in. Have you been in one of these places? The whole place is white, blue, and chrome, and you're surrounded by gadgets that look like robots. It's surreal.

The employee grabbed the earbuds off the wall, and asked if I needed anything else. When I said no, he took out his phone and started punching in information. I asked, "so where do I check out?" And he said, "right here." Huh? I didn't see a cash register, and we were standing in the middle of the store. But I didn't want to look too uncool so I just just took out my wallet. He put out his hand for my credit card, which he swiped through his phone. What? I was so confused. He then said, "you're all set," and sent me on my way. As I walked out of the store, I felt totally disoriented. What had just happened? Where was I? It had all happened so fast.

About a minute later, my phone buzzed indicating that my receipt had just been e-mailed to me. At that point, I called my sister and said, "I think I just left the year 3000."

Every store I went to after that resembled a general store from the 19th century. I mean, who uses cash registers anymore!? Or doors?! And who browses? Paper receipts!? Primitive!


That having been said, I'd rather never go to the Apple store again. The future is far too disorienting for me.

6 comments:

Katherine said...

Hilarious!! And SOOO true! Ever since I bought my MacBook Pro last year, I feel so futuristic, talking about things like 4 finger swiping on the track pad and hot corners. (Although that also sounds a little like I'm talking about wrestling...) Every time I go into an Apple store I feel like I'm going into some weird futuristic club, where you have to whip out your iPhone in order to really fit in. Personally, I prefer the General Store! (Or do I...hmmm...)

Katherine said...

P.S. I LOVE that Simpsons episode! The "Mapple" store! HA! Also, have you ever seen the entrance to the Apple store in NYC? It's RIDICULOUS! I didn't go in (I was too busy at FAO Schwartz - WAY cooler than the Apple store), but laughed at how ridiculous it was. Seriously. Absurd. http://www.appleinsider.com/articles/06/05/18/exclusive_photos_from_the_apple_store_fifth_ave.html

Heather said...

That is hilarious and scary. I didn't realize there may come a point in time where I can't go TOUCH things like items and receipts. Disturbing.

E McL said...

Too funny. Having worked at the bank and constantly warning customers of every sly way to get a cc # I have to say, I'd be uneasy and much relieved to have gotten that email!

Unknown said...

I have been to that NYC store, and also really weirded out about how I don't get a receipt until I get home since my phone plan is back from 1992 and doesn't received texts, emails, or anything but calls. Try going in there with kids. They almost seem to avoid you that way.

~ Malissa ~ said...

First, I have to let you know that I read this post on my iTouch. Who needs a computer these days when you have iPads, the iTouch, iPhones...sheesh, what's next?? Is it wrong to question whether the bishopric members are actually looking at scriptures during Sacrament meeting, or playing a game of air hockey with their new iPads?

I love apple brand futuristic-looking toys, but I hate going in that store if something goes wrong with them. I definitely agree that the store is just too much. Your experience made me smile - I think most of us have felt your pain.