Pages

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Question

How important is it to agree on politics in a relationship? I've been wondering about this lately. I would consider myself a moderate - I'm more conservative than my liberal friends, but more liberal than some of my conservative friends. But I find that if a guy is too extreme on either side, it's hard for me to feel like we really connect. Have you had experiences with this? How important is it to agree on politics? Do you and your significant other agree?

11 comments:

Ryan @ TheSinglesWard said...

I don't think it's imperative that both agree on everything politically, but it's hard to even have a relationship with someone who is all one way or the other.

I've dated girls on both sides of the fence. Very liberal and very conservative. While I'm generally more conservative than not, I find it hard to deal with someone that is extreme in one or the other.

People that are heavily one way or the other tend to express their opinions and try to influence those around them more than just about anyone else. Generally, when someone is so far left or right, there is nothing you can say to them that is even a little bit contradictory of what they think or they will get defensive and mad.

I think it's important to be knowledgeable in some politics and even more important to vote, but political affiliations within reason are totally acceptable. My parents are divided on some of their political views. While they discuss issues, each votes their own way on the ballot.

I don't think you need to necessarily agree, you just need to respect and consider the others viewpoint and not make them feel inferior for thinking the way they do.

What inspired this question?

Heather said...

We are each allowed our opinions. Jim and I don't agee on everything. I don't talk politics, since I had a horrible experience with it. I will think what I think and that's that. I agree with ryan, it would be hard if one person in the relationship is very far on the opposite side than you. The key is that you agree to disagree. And respect each other enough to live by that.

Sara said...

Probably more important that you share values, even if those values lead you to different policy positions. My parents typically canceled each others votes at the ballot box, but it doesn't seem to matter. Respecting each other's opinions is what matters. Oh, and not being a total loon about it. haha Luckily most people are in the middle somewhere.

Katherine said...

I agree with what Ryan wrote. I dated a guy who wanted to talk politics not because he wanted to have an interesting discussion, but because he wanted to "educate" me. A huge turn-off... As long as the guy can be civil, respectful, and open-minded, I'm good.

Melanie said...

I think that differing opinions initiate interesting discussions. But as with all the "big topics" it can get pretty ugly pretty fast. I definitely think extremes are a turn off.

I don't care how my significant other votes as long as he votes and knows a bit about what he's voting for.

Anonymous said...

I say you get some boxing gloves and head gear and just go at it. say 3 minutes per topic. And make sure you have a bell keeping time.

I think is fun when you can have an open dialogue on any topic not just limited to politics.

An admirer from the distance. ;)

Sarah said...

If two people have extremely strong opposing opinions, that can be a problem, but if one person is strongly political and one isn't, that seems to work out. :) I'd hope any decent guy would be impressed with a thoughtful, active, informed woman with her own opinions and beliefs!

lizzie mc.- said...

I wasn't wise enough, even having grown up in the DC area where politics is an unending topic, but thankfully God was aware that I needed someone w/ similar views. (ie. mission experiences border views.) However, I agree, more importantly from political discussions you learn about characteristics. Fun banter, respect, an ability to compromise or drop it, a desire to be heard and capacity to listen. A view of your equality and importance. You don't want to necessarily marry yourself, just someone that meshes well w/ you. I love your wisdom and humility!

opticwalrus said...

Politics? Dating? What are these strange concepts of which you speak?

Mark said...

I agree with Ryan and Sara. You need to have shared values, but those values may lead individuals to different decisions. Having a spouse to bounce ideas off of helps you figure out if your conclusions are reasonable. That's not really possible if either person is so entrenched in their views that they aren't willing to consider those of another.

Most of my friends out of church consider me a conservative and nearly all of my Mormon friends see me as a liberal. I think that puts me somewhere in the middle of the political spectrum. A few have suggested that I'm going to hell for how I vote. I think they are probably the extremists.

Elizabeth Downie said...

Haha, Mark, I have heard the same thing about going to hell for my views. I guess I'll see you there. lol (And I'm not even all that liberal!!!!!)