Friday, July 16, 2010

Looking back

A few days ago, my mom told me she found a box of my old journals in the back of the basement and asked me what I wanted her to do with it. My first thought was, "burn it."

But in the back of my mind I thought I might someday regret that, so I took it and stored it away. But before storing it I decided to open it and flip through one journal, nervous about what embarrassing memory it might hold. Turned out it was sort of amusing. The one entry I read was about meeting a guy who I'm still friends with and I kind of enjoyed reading about it and my first impressions of him.

But after reading that one entry, I put the journal back, sealed up the box and put it in a safe place. My old journals are a mine field of dating experiences - good and bad, embarrassing and hilarious, tender and painful, and so on and so forth. Maybe in 50 years I'll be ready to look back and laugh but I am nowhere near ready for that yet. At best, these old journal entries range from semi-amusing to painfully amusing.

The reason I mention this is because I've been going through old blog posts and labeling them, as I mentioned the other day. It's been interesting to look back. To me it's obvious that I write most posts and publish them immediately after writing them without waiting, rereading, and revising later. How else can you explain all the posts I wrote about Snuggies and the swine flu? My main thought when I was reading through past entries was, "this blog is goofy."

It was weird to look back on entries I haven't read in years (or at least year, singular). I'm not going to say it wasn't somewhat painful at times. In my attempts to never be too negative and to not reveal too much, I have at times focused on some pretty silly stuff in this blog. It is what it is though, and the posts made me laugh at the time.

Tonight I was at a Celtic Festival with Katherine. As I looked around and commented on some of the crazies in attendance, I realized I was there too and said to Katherine, "I love making fun of things I'm actively participating in." I think that statement can be applied to this blog as well. But you're still here so I shouldn't worry too much about it. I'm glad you've stuck with me.

Plus, lest I think it's all fluff, remember the post I wrote about cupcakes in April? Well, tonight I was on NPR's website and on the main page saw an article about the cupcake trend. So there you have it. If it's good enough for NPR, it's good enough for me. Plus, my post was better. (And I'm more humble, obviously.) But that's enough looking back for now. See you in 50 years, previous posts!


The Boob Nazi said...

I pretend my past never happened a lot.

Katherine said...

Yeah, it was pretty amusing to see you making fun of the very event you were attending! HA! I read through an old journal recently, too, and learned a lot about myself! I started a blog post about it a while ago...I swear I'll post it soon!

And I definitely thing that your cupcake blog post was WAY better than the NPR one!!

Elizabeth Downie said...

Thanks Katherine, I was hoping to fish some compliments about my cupcakes post. You totally took the bait. Suckah!!!

Katherine said...

I knew what you were doing from the start. Just thought I'd go along with it...I'm no fool!!

~ Malissa ~ said...

I'll definitely still be reading your posts years from now...even 50! I really enjoyed this post, by the way, but it made me kind of sad...I felt like it was ending an era. It was a good "ending" to say the least, and it gave me an opportunity to ponder all of the posts of yours I've read and the many things I've learned about life from another's perspective.

I know you've probably thought of this (because of how humble you are, ya know! ;-), but you REALLY should get your blog out there to the WHOLE world (at least to the world of Michigan, or U.S. of A.!!) With the bazillion of people that read this blog, you could make some bookoo bucks!! (I know you're not doing this for the money or for the fame, but I'm just sayin', how fun would it be to get payed to do something you love to do and are good at?!!) I'm sure I met someone in SLC that is an expert at something like that...let me know if I can help with a hookup!!

Here's to the blog that attracts its readers by the dozen!!

Elizabeth Downie said...

Malissa, this isn't a send off. :) I plan on continuing posting! Thanks for the support.

Robin said...

I've caught up with some old journals. Unlike you, I have sat and read them. Sadly, my life isn't all that different now than it was then. It is still the same old junk (I mean relationship disasters) with different names. What is up with that??? Now that is Depressing.As.Crap.

Heather said...

I sat and read old journals a few weeks ago, weird, it's like we're reading each others minds or something...anyway,I kept them(hid them) and will let my kids read them when they are older. They were very embarresing, mostly "Oh my gosh, I am going to marry_____!" He sooooo looked at me in math today." and then the next post was, "I hate ____. He is so dumb,he told Kathy who told Suzannah to tell Jen )who I thought was my friend) that he likes emily. Lame-o."

I also found an entry that said, "Elizabeth just threw an archie comic at me, it's on now!"

(Good times had by all)

Real important things.

Also, I love cupcakes, I went to a 6 year old's birthday today and they had a cake made out of cupcakes...I ate 2.

Amy said...

A few years back, I sent a link to a blog post I'd written to a new friend. A few days later he informed me that he had read my entire blog. All 100+ blog entries. I felt very exposed. It made me think a lot about what my blog said about me, and what someone would think about me if my blog was all they had to go on. I decided I was okay with it, but it was kind of terrifying. (Of course, it was also kind of flattering that he was interested enough to read all that, and that he enjoyed it enough to keep talking to me afterwards.)

Janice said...

I just found a box of my old diaries/journals in my parents' basement as well. A few thoughts went through my mind when I read them: a) I was a horrible speller; b) I proably need some serious mental help; c) I still have the same dating issues now as I did back then.

Kind of scary. I have one entry that I'll have to tell you about another time :) It's freaking hilarious.

Kelly said...

You are stronger than me. I shredded my college journal.

lizzie mc.- said...

The few times I've kept a journal it was an emotional outlet so it sounded as if all life was misery and suffering. Besides even if it was, I didn't want to remember it. But then again I have a poor memory, perhaps for the same reason. I think keeping one is important... if you can be objective about yourself. So many brave people to write and then KEEP it! So proud of you!

Liz said...

Where is this safe place, and how can I sneak into your house to find it?
You should turn your journals into a self help book, or something. I bet all your experience could really help others.