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Monday, August 4, 2008

Weak Sales Resistance

My hands and arms have never been as silky smooth as they are today. Why, you ask? Two reasons: I let my guard down, and I have weak sales resistance.

It happened this Saturday. I went to the mall to buy some new jeans, some lotion, and a book. But even though I went there for specific items, I kind of got side tracked once there. It's happened to all of us right? I ended up wandering the mall, looping back and forth, remembering all the things I suddenly had to check out. I guess somewhere in all that looping, I let my guard down with the aggressive kiosk salespeople.

Usually, I have all sorts of tricks to avoid getting pulled in by them. I stare straight ahead, pretending I'm deaf to their comments and calls. I pull out my cell phone and pretend I'm talking on it. I've even walked really really close to people I don't know, pretending to be with them so the salespeople can't single me out. And usually, when I accidently make eye contact with them, a firm "no thank you" does the trick.

But not always. As I learned on Saturday.

It was at the dead sea salt skin products kiosk in front of Borders. First, the guy asked me if I'd like some free skin product. I said, "No thanks" and kept walking. But he followed me and said, "how can you say no? You don't even know what it is." I said, "I'm ok. Thanks though." But by then he was holding my hand (seriously) and saying, "Just let me show you this. You will love it." I don't know what happened! Maybe it was because he's good looking. Maybe he hypnotized me. Whatever it was, I followed him back.

The next half hour or so is a blur. Let's just say, this guy is good at his job. He charmed me and flattered me. He spoke to me with his thick accent and caressed my hand. I should add that his flattery could not have been more insincere. Such as when he guessed my age at being, "what - 16, 17?" I laughed and said, "Oh puleeeze!" But he looked at me all innocently, like he had no idea what I was implying. He told me I should go on a date with him, he asked me how a beautiful girl like me isn't married yet, he complimented me on anything he could think of to try to weaken my sales resistance. And somehow, even though I knew what he was doing, I weakened. Once he got me to buy some stuff, he encouraged me to use it often, and all over, telling me, "men, they like the soft body." Translation: use this up so you have to come back for more a.s.a.p.

I will admit that the product is amazing. As I mentioned before, my skin has never felt so silky smooth. But I spent much more money on it than I care to admit, and I'm mad at myself for letting my guard down. Next time I go to the mall, I am going to have to role play saying no first. Or at the very least, sidle up to some strangers and pretend they're my best friends when I'm walking past a kiosk. I'll do whatever it takes! Meanwhile, I guess I'll try to just enjoy having the smoothest skin around.

9 comments:

Katherine said...

You may have weak sales resistance, but I benefit from it...so keep it up! Thanks! I wonder what Kafir would have done if you had actually agreed to go on a date with him. You might have gotten a lot of free product out of that! Work that angle next time. Not that there's going to be a next time, since you're going to practice saying no, but...

Kathy said...

I know those guys! Sounds like they're getting bold. Next time I go to the mall, I plan on being prepared...pepper spray. I won't even turn my head in their direction. Just point and spray. Thanks for the heads up.

Kathy said...

BTW- it sounds a little like a harrassment suit is in order. You could OWN their dirty little cart with all that lotion.

Amy said...

Those dead sea salt people are good, male or female. I very nearly gave in a couple years ago in a mall in LA and was only saved when my reflexes kicked in and I told the saleswomen I would come back when I was finished with my shopping. I fully intended to do it, but 30 minutes later my head had cleared. But even the 5 minute hand treatment she gave me was incredible and I obviously still have not forgotten it. That's how good they are.

Dallan said...

Funny post. Sounds like something Sedaris would write.

Monica said...

never go shopping without me again ok?

Heather said...

thats such amature stuff E! I've been known to carry a walking stick for the blind in my purse so as i can pull it out on such occasions. Or...another one is have Katherine teach you how to say a few things in thai, just enough to throw him off. These are sure to do the trick!

Elizabeth Downie said...

Great suggestion, H. Love it! I can totally see you doing it too! And yeah, that would be awesome if K would teach me some Thai, but she continually cringes when I attempt to speak Thai. She says I have the worst Thai accent known to mankind. Can you imagine!?

Liz said...

I hate good looking sales people, they always lure me in like a siren calling a sailor in from the sea.