It's supposed to be 94 degrees today, which in and of itself is annoyingly hot for September. But to make matters worse, I heard on the way into work that the humidity is going to be at 97%. I mentioned that to my coworker and he said that he heard it's going to be one thousand one hundred percent humidity.
I think what he heard is more accurate to what it will feel like.
In other thoughts, I am not proud to admit that I took the bait on Facebook this morning. A relative of mine posted something that hurt me a lot. Something that made me feel like a shadow person. And I reacted. Not unkindly - not rudely. But I did respond.
I 'm not going to quote the whole thing but she basically wrote a status update that said that until you have children of your own, nothing you experience in life will be whole. Eating ice cream isn't the same until you eat it with your kid, going to the zoo is hollow unless you go with your children (and she listed about 10 other experiences that I thought I enjoyed but apparently since I don't have children, I was only half enjoying them).
One of my sisters who is very sensitive to how I feel (and is a mother herself) saw this post and knew it would hurt me. So she emailed me and said, "don't let her get you down. She was wrong. She may as well have said, 'you'll never know how good pooping feels until you see your own child really poop for the first time.'" She added that she knew how good ice cream was long before she had kids of her own.
That made me feel a little better. Poop is always funny. And ice cream is always delicious. (Just NEVER mix the two up - whatever you do!!)
This relative has said things like this to me before. One Christmas morning I was feeling very vulnerable. I love Christmas, but holidays can sometimes be hard when you're single. But I put on my happy face and went to our family meal. Somehow I got seated at a table with this relative, who in the course of the conversation told me that I'll never truly understand joy until I see my own children open their presents on Christmas morning.
I was tempted to throw our folding table on it's side and yell something like, "Oh yeah!? Well YOU'LL never understand joy until you.... shut your mouth!" Or something equally eloquent. But instead I just ate my sweet potatoes and cried later that night.
The thing about this relative is that she is a nice person. I love her and her family. But she doesn't think about the impact her words will have.
I have always wanted to have a family of my own and even at my advanced age I haven't given up on that dream. But until it happens, I don't want to think of myself as a half person. Only able to experience half of life, half of the joy available, half of the enjoyment of holidays, half of the way a cool fall breeze feels, half of the first bite of a piece of pumpkin pie with whipped cream, half of snuggling up under a blanket in front of a fireplace, half of jumping into a pool on a hot day, half of playing with a fluffy puppy, and so on.
I choose to live as a full person until I have kids, at which time I will continue to live as a full person and enjoy the experiences that will come with new opportunities to share happiness.
Boxes of Torque
12 hours ago