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Sunday, November 6, 2011

Under the Surface

I've been thinking lately about why I blog about the things I do. I blog a lot about seasons, holidays, and other random thoughts. But I don't blog about the more personal things - my worries, the guys I'm seeing, the things that upset me, and so on. I think I've figured out why that is. Here are some of the reasons:

I don't know who's reading this blog.
I DO know who's reading this blog. (Catch the difference?)
I don't want people to think I'm looking for pity.
If I get really personal about loneliness or worries, people are bound to give well
meaning advice that will just annoy me or make me feel like I was fishing for it.
I'll feel vulnerable.

The breakdown of what I end up publishing looks something like this, with the top layer being what I blog about, and the bottom being what I don't.

(I don't have any serious health issues, but occasionally I get sick and don't want to be all "I'm sick, wah wah" about it, though I may acknowledge it briefly.)

Both parts of that picture are me at different times in my life. I am happy for the most part, and I try to enjoy life. And the bottom layer list doesn't tend to happen all at once, thank goodness. But there's a lot of stuff going on in my life. And, I'll be honest, I do wish I could be more open. I wish I could tell you that I haven't been over the top happy lately, that I'm worried about the future, that I sometimes feel lonely, and the upcoming holiday season, though I love it, often compounds those feelings of loneliness. But I can't tell you those things because it makes me too vulnerable.

But at the same time, I think a lot of you could probably relate to some of the things I'm feeling so I think, I think, I'm going to try to be more open. We can all survive the upcoming cold weather together, and the bad and funny dating stories together, and the holidays together. Sound like a plan?

5 comments:

Katherine said...

I think it's a good plan! Laughing about awkward dates and the like is always fun. Especially with the added wonder if the guy might be reading about it... ;) There are a lot of us out there with similar things going on in our lives, and it'll be nice to be able to relate to you on those issues that it can be hard to talk about sometimes. Keep it coming!

Ashley said...

I agree with Katherine completely. I would like to hear about more of your inner monologue, if you're willing to share it. I'm convinced you can make any issue interesting and/or light-hearted. I can also relate to your fears with Facebook: I'm always overly self-conscious about complaining/whining/boasting too much, and would rather post more humorous, superficial things.

violet50 said...

I think it's good for all of us to share common concerns. We won't feel so isolated or lonely. You share enough laughter, fun adventures, and pictures that I don't think anyone will be put off by some real worries or situations. That's what people used to do when they sat on their front porches and neighbors dropped by. We're your virtual neighbors. And I have to say "It's a wonderful day in the neighborhood" when you drop by! Thanks!

Kelly L said...

It seems to me that when I blog about the "personal" stuff - I let it out... and I move on. That's not a bad thing BUT - there are those blogs that when I pop in - I wish that they would get off the "feel sorry for me cuz my life is so tough" wagon and just breathe in and breathe out...
I'm looking forward to the cold weather - more blankets to snuggle under at night.. As for dating - would love to but I think my husband of 22 years would have a problem... well maybe he wouldn't.. not sure which would be worse..
Have a wonderful week!
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lizzie mc.- said...

I love the idea. Well said Violet!