Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Wednesday Thoughts

My weekly jumble of mostly unrelated thoughts.

Why do some doctors offices have the craziest hours? I had to call a doctor yesterday to set up a procedure (I'm going to leave it at that to let your imaginations go wild). I called at 4:00 and the answering machine picked up. The voice on the machine said something like, "you have reached the office of Dr. _. Our office hours are Monday 8-9 then 1-3 , Tuesday 6-10, Wednesday 8-11 then 1-4, Thursday 9-12 then 3-8." I have no idea when to call back.

So, one thing you may have already discovered about me is that I'm pretty easily amused. I'm not sure if I'm more easily amused than everyone but I am definitely more than some people. Namely, my sister Katherine. This is evidenced by a little conversation we had a few years back about a Blue Oyster Cult concert she went to (that's not the funny part) at a place that used to be called Pine Knob but is now called something horribly depressing like DTE Energy Music theater or something soul sucking like that.

I showed her this before putting it up and she agreed that this is how it went down:

me: So, what was it like there?
K: It's pretty much all outdoors and there's a big hill that people sit or stand on.
me: Is it a steep hill?
K: Yeah, it's kind of steep.
me: That seems dangerous. I wonder if people ever fall?
K: Someone fell when I was there.
me: What!? How?
K: People were smoking pot and this guy tripped and fell down the hill.
me: Like head over foot?
K: Yeah.
me: Did he go a long way?
K: A pretty long way.
me: So, a guy tripped and rolled head over foot down the hill and you're only telling me this hilarious story because I'm asking the right questions!?

I was telling this story to my friend Lou Ann this week, and she shocked me with having a falling down the hill at Pine Knob story of her own. She was 12 years old and at a Hanson concert. Before the concert began she was walking to the bathroom, day dreaming about how she'd catch Taylor's eye during the concert and eventually become Mrs. Taylor Hanson, when she lost her footing, started to fall and landed on someone's cooler which she then rode down the hill a ways. She claims it was an accident but I suspect she was trying to clear a path to Taylor.

What is it about people falling that is so dang funny? Do you have a funny falling story?

Are you still thinking about what procedure I'm going to have? I won't tell, but let's just say I'll look ten years younger when it's done.*

And don't forget, today's the last day to vote for me in the blogger brawl! Be a dear and hop over to vote please? Here's the link.

Happy Wednesday!

*I'm kidding, it's nothing like that at all.


Erin said...

I have a great falling story:) So! My orchestra was performing in the Joseph Smith memorial building in Utah. If you have been there, you know that the stairs are 1: Marble and 2: that they go up half way and then you turn 180 degrees and finishing going up. The second part is hard to explain but needless to say nobody can see you when you are on the top half of the stairs unless they are on the stairs with you.

SO! I was walking down the stairs with my viola unpacked and in my hands when I tripped over my skirt that was far too long! I was so worried about my viola that I took the complete force of the fall while protecting my precious instrument. Every single person in the room could hear me tumbling down the stairs but only my orchestra friends could see me. I am sure a few of them got a laugh out of my body falling head first down a marble stair case. I left that day with many bruises but don't you worry my viola was unharmed and my self esteem damaged only a little:)

Justin said...

Growing up 15 minutes away from Pine Knob (I still refuse to call it by its other name), I can attest to the dangers of that hill. I never personally had an experience like Lou Ann's, but I will admit to the terror that I felt walking up and down that hill on numerous occasions. I remember one experience in particular. It was toward the end of an LFO concert (don't laugh, I was like 17) in which we were sitting toward the bottom of the hill. I was hoping I wouldn't have to go back up the hill during the concert but I had drank too much water and I had no choice unless I wanted to pee my pants. It was toward the end of the concert and I dragged my friend with me incase the worst happened and I needed medical attention on the hill. Combining it with my pre-existing anxiety of walking in front of a large group of people and my already natural clumsiness, all I could do was hope for the best. I made it up okay for the most part. I tripped a few times, which was sort of traumatizing, but I think I did pretty well. By the time we came back it had started to rain quite heavily. As you can imagine, that hill is not very fun to conquer when it is slippery. I witnessed a couple people slip and I think one person might have fallen. I knew right then and there that I was going to watch the rest of the concert from the top of the hill and make my friend go back for the blanket and our other friend. Well, she fell on her way back down. I remember feeling really bad, but I was glad that I was able to enjoy "Summer Girls" from my safe zone at the top of the hill.

Kathy said...

When I was in high school, I was at a wedding. To get to the bathroom at the reception hall, you had to go down this staircase that was located right at the entrance of the ballroom. At the bottom of the staircase, there were some nice couches to sit on. And on those couches at the exact time of my incident, sat four or five guys. As I was elegantly going down the stairs in my beautiful lavender dress and body glitter, (it was the 90's- totally acceptable) the back of my heel caught my dress. I hit my knees, and proceeded to slide down the entire set of stairs on my knees. It was pretty bad that all those guys had watched me fall. They were trying very hard not to laugh. However, I also let out an involuntary scream at each moment that I hit a step with my knees, which echoed into the ballroom where the guests were dining. I never turned around to see how many of them looked over to see who was screaming.

Elizabeth Downie said...

That reminds me of that scene in Clueless when the girl falls down the steps and says, "that was so embarrassing! Do you think anyone saw me?" And Cher says no, then some guy comes up and says, "Are you ok?! That was really bad!"

Lizzie Mc.- said...

Now you need to know first that my dad always wool socks, and the treads down to the basement were a weel worn wood. My dad had just shown us a sample of what his new-fangled bubble-jet printer could do. (I just aged 10 years in your eyes, didn't I?) I laid down for a nap, when all of a sudden... bump, bang, thump. I ran down the stairs to get to him, asking, before I even collected myself, "Are you ok?" The response to our concern? "I wrinkled my paper."

And of course my all time favorite... while trying to stand at the foul line and throw the ball backwards over my head to the opposite hoop, my feet slipped out from under me, my 80's slouch shirt flew up over my head while the bishop and best friend were looking on. I ran out of the room... after my friend because she was so embarrassed for me SHE ran out crying.

opticwalrus said...

This post is prompting some really long responses. Let me add to it - the bits about wanting to hook up with Taylor Hanson reminded me of this priceless Gilmore Girls exchange:

LORELAI: ...For example, say you're dating Taylor Hanson.

RORY: Why am I dating Taylor Hanson?

LORELAI: It's a hypothetical scenario, go with it. So, uh, you and Taylor have been seeing each other pretty regularly...

RORY: How did I meet Taylor Hanson?

LORELAI: You went to his concert, you got backstage, your eyes met across the crowd and you've been seeing each other ever since.

RORY: Hanson's still together?

LORELAI: They're the new Bee Gees. So...

RORY: And why would you not stop me from going to a Hanson concert?

LORELAI: Hey, someone's trying to make a point here.

RORY: Sorry. Go ahead.

LORELAI: So you and Taylor have been dating for awhile, and things are great, and, um, you're happy, and you feel all those crazy mushy things that people feel when they're in love. I want you to be able to say to him, Taylor, I love you.

RORY: Okay, can we pick a new hypothetical 'cause this one's wigging me out.

Sarah said...

Oh dang, you need a "Don't read this in a quiet meeting at work" warning on your blog posts!!! I keep stifling my laughter (which we all know makes it worse), and I think people next to me think I'm a little looney with this crazed smile on my face!! :) So, to answer your question, YES, falling stories are funny! I was once on a date at Chi-Chi's (oh yeah!), and the table we were at was raised up a level, just a small step up. Well, I forgot that as I gracefully excused myself from the table to use the powder room, and did one of those fancy foot placements that are meant for flat ground, not for taking a step down. My foot flailed, searching for solid flooring, and my leg, upon hitting said flooring, buckled underneath me. I did not fall, but instead took a number of incredibly awkward steps through my section of the restaurant trying to regain my balance. Excellent! :)

PS: Good luck with your cheek implants! (I assume that's the surgery you're getting right?) :)

Sarah said...

PPS: I love that the "Gilmore Girls" just got quoted today! :)

Mark said...

So I was at this Blue Oyster Cult concert with Justin, Katherine, DM, and Kendall. I'm sure someone fell down the hill, but I don't remember because someone always experiences a chemical imbalance of one kind or another and takes tumble or slide. It's never happened to me or my friends because we don't drink, and as Katherine alluded to, only inhale second-hand.

The best spills are the tipsy 40+ chicks trying to climb the slope in high heels. They wander around, looking for their friends instead of where their feet should go and end up meeting new people face first. I've never seen anyone get hurt, just embarrassed.

I still call it Pine Knob, and usually sit near the top of the grass, because beer runs downhill.

Foghat played at that concert too, and Justin and I got really excited when they started one of our favorites. Then we remembered the lyrics were of a topic we probably wouldn't present to the Downies in a home teaching visit. We didn't sing along for that one.

Mark said...

Gus inspired me for this second post. Blake and I went to PK see Megadeth in the mid-nineties. Pantera opened up, and the hill was pretty rowdy. Kids were throwing handfuls of grass and sod at each other. You watched the stage with one eye, and the sky with the other, to avoid being hit.

When Megadeth came on, they opened with "Holy Wars", which is one of their big hits. 7 minutes of power and energy. It is a crowd favorite and the hill erupted with a turf fight that filled the air with grass and dirt. I remember seeing one guy tearing up a huge patch of sod and flinging it like a discus hurler. It was like being in a thunderstorm. In that time, a good portion of the grass hill had been destroyed. Blake and I did not participate (much) but we had dirt in our hair, ears, noses, and mouths.

This did not please Dave Mustaine at all. It would be dramatic to say the band stopped in the middle of the song, but they played it all the way through. Then we were treated to a strongly worded lecture on respect for Mother Earth. This lasted about as long as the song had been, and then we were warned by Mr Mustaine that if he saw any more sod flying through the air, the concert would be over.

The chastened crowd complied and we got to hear the remainder of the band's set. The hill was pretty bald the rest of the summer and not as comfortable to sit (or slide) on without the grass.

Mark said...

BYU 1984 at a monthly fireside. The Marriot center was 2/3 full of people to hear someone important from Salt Lake (no, I don't remember who). A girl arrived late and tried to discreetly descend the stairs from the mezzanine to the floor, behind the podium. She missed a step and tumbled most of the way down, in full view of everyone there. There was a loud gasp from the crowd, and the speaker stopped. He turned around to see what had happened and asked the girl over the PA if she was okay. She got up to show nothing was broken, but by her body language, did not look comfortable at all with the attention of 10,000+ people.

I imagine the next day as people in class talked about "that girl who fell down the stairs at the fireside" she probably said, "I saw that too, I hope she's okay".

Katherine said...

I kid you not, as I was just reading through the comments for the this post, sitting in the open study area on the main floor of Kendall, facing the stairs going up the the 2nd and 3rd floors (which are open for everyone to see - there's a high ceiling and lots of open air), a girl slipped and fell down several stairs!! I came SO close to busting out laughing, not at her, but at the timing!!! Luckily there aren't many people out here right now, but there is a guy playing this piano they have out for people to jam on (he's being videotaped, actually, don't know why), and when the girl fell, he stopped mid-song, and all conversation around me stopped. Oh, dear. The girl was with someone who helped her up and stuff, but STILL!

That fall at Pine Knob WAS hilarious. I feel like I'm fairly easily amused, but I suppose I didn't really go all out when telling you that story. I blame the second-hand pot. KIDDING! I like that you laugh so easily! :) You're a good Laverne to my Shirley. (I always felt like Laverne was a bit more laid back, and laughed a little easier.) OK, gotta take a picture of the stairs so I can show you later where things went down. Literally.

Heather said...

I should not be reading these when I am beyond tired. I can't catch my breath from laughing so hard! "I wrinkled my paper." oh my gosh,...i can't breath. Everyone's (in paranthesis) comments are the best.

P. S Where am i in the Lavern and shirley scenario!!! (i refuse to be lenny) Did you forget about your long lost sister here!Is this one of those horrible movies where no one can hear me, but I can hear them? I;m dead arn't i? Tell me the truth, wait, you can't hear me.

Elizabeth Downie said...

I can hear you!! And I have great news, you're not Lenny! You're Squiggy! I'm kidding! I'm kidding! You're Carmine! :)

David and Linda said...

I laughed a lot, but now I'm afraid to walk down hills, stairs, and basketball courts.

sterlingandbrandi said...

I am super behind checking blogs, but this one (and the comments) cracked me up! I just laughed out loud and Lily, who is watching Toy Story 2, laughed too because she thought it must be a funny part (Woody being kidnapped = NOT FUNNY! Just so so sad.)