The hand that robs the cradle

When it comes to dating, age difference is often a factor. "How old is he?" is one of the first questions you hear from a friend when you tell them about someone you are going out with. The most scandalous situations are, of course, when someone dates someone much younger than them. Especially when that someone is a woman who's dating a younger man.

I can think of loads of celebrity women who are dating much younger men but I generally think it's best not to look at celebrities as examples of what's acceptable and normal. (That's a slippery slope.) So I'll just talk about you and me. Mostly me.

Now that I'm...well, 30 and some change (pennies, really), I've become very aware of age in relation to dating. Before, I never paid a ton of attention to how old the guys I met were - they were in their 20's, I was in my 20's, the end. But in the last year I've had a couple situations that forced me to think about age difference and what's appropriate.

At some point last year (I'm going to keep things vague to make it harder for anyone to figure out who this guy is), I was pursued by a much younger guy - 10 years younger to be precise. I was flattered at first because he was a great guy. But the age difference was just too much for me. Plus, my friends were teasing me like crazy about it. He disagreed and didn't think it was a big deal. He said, "you could be a cougar!" as if that would sweeten the deal for me. Part of me wondered if I was over thinking it but it just felt weird to me.

The interesting thing however, is that at the same time a guy friend of mine married a girl 10 years younger than him and no one said anything about it or found it strange. Why the hypocrisy? The guy who was pursuing me was an adult - he was in his 20's. So why is it socially acceptable for a guy to date a much younger woman but not the other way around?

I had a similar experience a couple months ago where I met a cool guy, we hit it off, exchanged numbers, etc... I assumed he was near my age but found out once again that he's about 10 years younger than me. When I found out, I told him that the age difference was an issue for me. He said it shouldn't be. But once again, I couldn't get past it. Ten years is just too much for me.

I think there are lots of factors that need to be looked at with age difference - maturity, experiences, backgrounds, common interests and so on. Sometimes physical age isn't as much of an issue as emotional age. Someone could be only two years younger than you but feel much younger than that.

I've heard silly mathematical rules used to figure out if someone is old enough for you, such as "half your age plus seven." But I'm pretty sure that rule was made up by someone who wanted to date someone who was half their age plus seven.

My point is, it has to be a personal decision. Here's how it works for me (this is based on how I feel, not on any facts I found online about what age range my dating pool should be):

28 to late 30's - totally comfortable
25 to 27 - mostly comfortable, with the tiniest bit of hesitation - mainly because I don't want to feel "old" when the guy doesn't get my Milli Vanilli jokes or Full House references.
under 25 - case by case basis but not preferred. Exceptions can be made for the likes of Zach Efron and that guy who played Jake in Twilight, of course. But that goes without saying.

But if you do decide to date someone much younger or older than you, how do you get past the stigma? Any insights? And what are your age "rules"?