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Thursday, May 2, 2013

Kampaign

If you were going to run for president, what platform would you run on? I don't mean the "serious" issues like gun control, equal rights, education, the military, moral values, etc. No, I'm talking about the issues underneath the surface. The ones no one is willing to talk about. I'm talking about how people are getting tired of all the confusion that comes with having these three letters when only two are really required: K, C, and S. I'm sorry, but C has got to go.

Oh!! But what about the "soft c!?" you ask? Ever heard of an "s"? We got that covered. And the "hard c"? Um. We have "k" for that. We don't need all three. Frankly, I'm fed up with the confusion having an exsess (see what I did there?) letter kreates.

So here's the thing. I get that we need a "c" for the "ch" sound, right? I won't deny that. But in Spanish, they have "ch" as an extra letter in their alphabet. So let's just do that. C is allowed, but only in "ch" situations. So there's still 26 letters, one is just a duo. Twins, if you will. Conjoined twins.

See how simple it is?

We just have to re-learn everything we ever learned. No big.

Get used to seeing these posters plastered all over town during the next election:


What would be the one (under the surface, non serious) platform you would run on?

5 comments:

karajean said...

I came to this post specifically to point out the "ch" problem in your platform, but you klearly have that kovered. Personally, I've always thought "q" was a superfluous letter and could easily be replaced by "kw."

lizzie mc.- said...

Bathroom use based on clothing worn. There isn't a men's & ladies, but pants vs turbine and kilts Because nobody wants to use the head only to see some Scottish man's backside at the urinal on kilt day and gals you can use your go girl and not wait for a restroom for 1/2 an hour only to have to clean up after the kid who is toilet training and "missed" all over.

violet50 said...

I can't handle more change. I'm still upset that they're talking about getting rid of the penny [speaking of change]. So, although you make a valid point, I'm sticking with c's and pennies.

Katherine said...

I LOVE your kampaign!! I'd vote for you! I'll have to think about my platform. It might be based around getting slow drivers off the road. Also, getting hula hooping made an official Olympic sport.

Erin Gong said...

I support the removal of "c" on the grounds of eradicating all brand names that intentionally spell words incorrectly. e.g. "Krispy Kreme". Really? Why not just Crispy Cream? Millions of American youth, trying their hardest to make sense of the English language, have to withstand the flagrant and subversive influence of money-driven advertisers who purposefully misspell words in order to fill their pocketbooks. The downfall of America starts here.