Monday, February 25, 2013

Winter Survival Tips

1. That Radiohead CD you've been listening to in your car? Stop. For real, just stop. Do not listen to "Lucky," no matter how much you like that song. It will not make you feel better about life. Take the CD out and throw it into the backseat. Listen to it again in the summer when life feels good and hopeful again.

2. Craving chocolate? Eat it. You can diet in the spring. I mean, don't go overboard with this but don't fight that craving either. Just eat the chocolate. I don't even care.

3. Any time you can hold a baby or a puppy, do it. Don't kidnap or dog-nap one, but if you have permission to hold one of these, hold it. You'll feel that winter anger slip away.

4. If you don't want to go outside, don't. It might just make you more angry to be out there. I mean, if you have to go to work or something, I'm sorry but you will have to go outside. But if you don't absolutely have to go out, just stay in and stay warm. Drink some hot chocolate. Watch some Netflix. Write me a text thanking me for this advice. Maybe even invite me over. If I can face the outdoors, I'll come. But don't count on it.

5. If winter is making you feel extra lonely, don't watch any tv or movies with love themes. I forbid it!!!

6. Read mysteries. They're perfect for winter. Pure escapism.

7. Movies to NOT watch: Little Women, My Girl, Marley and Me, or anything else that will not only make you cry, but make you cry all day (or longer).

8. Exercise if you want to. Hang up your bathing suit somewhere where you can see it for motivation. You'll either feel motivated to work out when you see it, or you'll learn to ignore it and not care one way or the other. Exercise will probably help your mood though.

9. If you're just really fed up with the snow, go outside and kick it. Hard. And a lot. Stomp on it too. Shake your fist at it. Give it the stink eye. Shout at it, "you're going to be sorry!!!" Then walk back inside with a big smile on your face.

10. Watch every single Harlem Shake video on Youtube. Wonder what is wrong with the world. Plan and execute your own Harlem Shake video. Become a short-term internet sensation. Get to meet the kids from Charlie Bit My Finger. By the time you're done with that, it will be April and the long winter will be over.

These rules are mostly just for myself, and I can't guarantee their effectiveness in your life. But for me, these work. For the most part. The only thing that could really and truly work would be no winter at all.

What works for you?


violet50 said...

Watching movies [and eating chocolate] works for me. Even better if the movies have puppies or babies in them. I just got "The Last Starfighter", "Starman", and "Galaxy Quest" in the mail. Are you sensing a theme? Sci Fi is my Desperado.

Katherine said...

I weep a lot. I like the idea of kicking the snow! It was so sunny and nice today, and now they're predicting all of this snow! Urgh. I'm also reading an Agatha Christie, not watching sad movies or listing to Radiohead, and held a puppy recently. I can make it!!! I think...