These are (mostly) posted with permission. The picture isn't posted with permission though, so I'll put this disclaimer on it: I found it through a google image search. It's someone elses masterpiece. K, now no one can sue me. Enjoy these quotes:
Male friend: I like your art.
Me: I'm not really an artist.
MF: Well, you draw funny cartoons. You're not an artist in the traditional way. Like, you don't draw nude women or anything.
Me: I've never drawn a nude woman in my life.
MF: I've drawn a few. Doesn't count as pornography if you draw it yourself.
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Me to six year old: Did you do anything special for your last day of school?
6 yr old: I can't remember.
Me: Did you have a party or anything?
6 yr old: I don't know.
Me: But your last day was just yesterday!
6 yr old: Yeah, but I have a lot of memories in my head! I can't remember all of them!!
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Male friend: I miss the old days when you could just see a pretty girl, throw her over your shoulder and take her back to your cave. At least once a week I see a girl that I want to walk up to, tell her she's ridiculously pretty, and haul her away.
Me: What would you do to her?
MF: Treat her right, tell her she's pretty every day, kiss her on the mouth, and then marry her. I guess I'd be a gentlemanly cave man.
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Friend: Well, keep me abreast of the situation. And speaking of abreast, I just bought a new sports bra.
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Now that I think about it, this post should probably have a rating of PG-13. Abreast? Pornography? Kissing on the mouth!? Early onset childhood memory loss!?!? Whew! I hope none of you are too scandalized.
3 comments:
Hee hee! I love those quotes! I'm only mildly scandalized. Well, mild to moderate. I'll survive. ;)
Yea, I like these. Make it a regular. Everyday with you is stand-up comedy for the rest of us. Thanks. BTW Male friend might be beating around the bush after all you ARE that pretty!
I love the funny quotes! And I'll have to remember the one about not remembering what happened the day before. I have a lot more memories than a 6 year-old. I could be pretty convincing.
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