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Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Quotable

Maybe to help us get through a boring Tuesday, I'll share some funny quotes from my life again? Now that I've started sharing funny things my friends and family say, they're standing out to me more and more. So expect a few more quote posts in the future! Hopefully these are as funny to you out of context as they were to me in context!

These are (mostly) posted with  permission. The picture isn't posted with permission though, so I'll put this disclaimer on it:  I found it through a google image search. It's someone elses masterpiece. K, now no one can sue me. Enjoy these quotes:

Male friend: I like your art.

Me: I'm not really an artist.

MF: Well, you draw funny cartoons. You're not an artist in the traditional way. Like, you don't draw nude women or anything.

Me: I've never drawn a nude woman in my life.

MF: I've drawn a few. Doesn't count as pornography if you draw it yourself.

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Me to six year old: Did you do anything special for your last day of school?

6 yr old: I can't remember.

Me: Did you have a party or anything?

6 yr old: I don't know.

Me: But your last day was just yesterday!

6 yr old: Yeah, but I have a lot of memories in my head! I can't remember all of them!!

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Male friend: I miss the old days when you could just see a pretty girl, throw her over your shoulder and take her back to your cave. At least once a week I see a girl that I want to walk up to, tell her she's ridiculously pretty, and haul her away.

Me: What would you do to her?

MF: Treat her right, tell her she's pretty every day, kiss her on the mouth, and then marry her. I guess I'd be a gentlemanly cave man.

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Friend: Well, keep me abreast of the situation. And speaking of abreast, I just bought a new sports bra.

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Now that I think about it, this post should probably have a rating of PG-13. Abreast? Pornography? Kissing on the mouth!? Early onset childhood memory loss!?!? Whew! I hope none of you are too scandalized.

3 comments:

Katherine said...

Hee hee! I love those quotes! I'm only mildly scandalized. Well, mild to moderate. I'll survive. ;)

lizzie mc.- said...

Yea, I like these. Make it a regular. Everyday with you is stand-up comedy for the rest of us. Thanks. BTW Male friend might be beating around the bush after all you ARE that pretty!

violet50 said...

I love the funny quotes! And I'll have to remember the one about not remembering what happened the day before. I have a lot more memories than a 6 year-old. I could be pretty convincing.