Stuff you can't write with a joke pen

My actual hand

I love goofy pens. If I'd thought ahead I would have taken a picture of my pen jar at work before writing this post. But you'll just have to take my word for it: I love silly pens. Guitar pens, witch pens, flower pens, bison head pens, whatever it is, I have one and I like it.

My friend Janice and I have a tradition of buying funny pens for each other - the crazier the better. She recently got back from a trip to Seattle and brought me back a ginormous novelty pen that says "Seattle" on the side, as seen here:

I love it, not only because it's pretty funny, but also because I can always find it in my purse. And because I can always find it in my purse, I use it a lot.

I've become immune to its size and forget that it's funny looking, but today, while writing with it at church, I heard people giggling in my row. My friend Erin said, "You can't write anything serious with that pen!" I told Janice what she said and the two of us made a short list of things you can't write with a silly giant novelty pen.

Here's what we've come up with so far:

1. A letter of resignation
2. A break up letter
3. A blackmail letter
4. A will
5. A suicide note
6. A letter saying, "I'm your real mother."
7. A letter saying, "The test came back positive."

A letter like this:

I wrote this letter but didn't send it.

What else can't you write with a goofy pen?