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Sunday, June 27, 2010

She had man hands!

Occasionally I am accused of being too picky when it comes to dating. This accusation never comes from people who know me well. It almost always comes from people I haven't seen in years and who, upon finding out I am still single, feel the need to say, "are you really picky or something?" I can't help but be offended by this because I think my standards are pretty reasonable - I'm just looking for a guy who's six feet tall, has brown hair, plays the piano, speaks Japanese and Spanish, has one blue eye and one brown, is rich, has six toes, and has exactly 10 freckles on each arm. I think we can all agree that that's not asking too much.

But honestly, I don't think I'm too picky. I do have certain hopes as far as religion, goals, and personality are concerned, but I think everyone has some basic expectations. I mean, marriage is serious business, right? And I'm nowhere near as bad as Jerry Seinfeld was. I take comfort in that. I've never broken up with anyone becuase of the way he eats peas.

But while I'm not as picky as people think I am, I will admit that I'm occasionally turned off by stupid things. Things that honestly don't matter in the long run. Don't get me wrong - if I were interested in a guy and he did one of these things, I wouldn't break up with him.

I wish that I could tell you some of the things that annoy me but I think it's best that I keep them to myself. (I may reveal more in the comments section later - it's safer there). I get enough criticism from married friends as it is. But I will tell you that most of my stupid hang ups have to do with word pronunciation. Like ending the word height with a "th" sound. And some others I won't get into but that are equally trivial, to be sure. (This only applies to native speakers of English, of course. How could I get annoyed with a man with an accent?)

I know, I know - it doesn't matter how a guy pronounces words as long as he's a good guy, etc, etc.... I know. (Wow, I'm being really defensive and you didn't even say anything! Sorry. I'm anticipating criticism.)

But I suspect that you have stupid hang ups too - am I wrong? And even if you're married, I bet you had stupid things you hated when you were single. Things that shouldn't change the way you look at your date but do anyway. Just a little bit. Things like the way they eat or the way they dress, the fact that they hate dogs (gasp), or even the way they sneeze. Would you be willing to share any?

13 comments:

The Boob Nazi said...

I just don't want a manipulative sensitive man. That's all I'm going for.... But things that turn me off: Being too far right or too far left. umm, I can't think of more. Too late.

AngelaBeth said...

I don't think that's too picky. I'm a grammar nazi to EVERYONE.

I guess there's one of my quirks my future mister will have to be ok with/get used to/JUST LEARN HOW TO SPEAK THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE PROPERLY. NBD.

Also, thanks for the "man hands" title. I'm never getting married!

The Leo said...

I totally have man-hands and I'm absolutely sure that's the only reason I'm still single. It's tragic really.

karajean said...

Best if you keep them to yourself?! Where's the fun in that?!

Leo said...

I automatically write a woman off if she owns a dog that is poorly trained and beahved... I subonsciously infer that she will be a bad mother...

Elizabeth Downie said...

That's really interesting Leo! And makes a lot of sense.

Crystal said...

When I was single, I refused to date a man that wore any kind of necklace. Just not diggin' the man jewelery!

And I also don't think I could have dated anyone super hairy. I suppose if I started dating them before knowing they were super hairy, it might have been ok. But if I knew about it in advance, no way.

Crystal said...

Good thing my hubby doesn't mind someone who can't spell.

JEWELRY.

Katherine said...

I also find that bad grammar is a big turn-off for me. I try to ignore it, but it weedles into my brain and drives me loca!! If a guy is the least bit whiney or, as you, E, might say, a pantywaist, I also make a quick escape! Or if he plays too many video games. OK, I'd better stop or I may be single forever!

Mark said...

I don't date girls who have a list of qualifications for their dream guy.

Not because I'm picky, but because I don't meet the enumerated criteria.

Melanie said...

My sister said that I'll have to be less picky when I get back from the Marshall Islands. I had to bite my tongue not to point out that if I threw out the Mormon qualifications it'd be infinitely easier for me to find someone.

Kelly / Raquel said...

HaHA, I remember that you hated how people pronounced your name. When I was dating I never dated guys who watched sports (sports on TV bore me to tears & I hate those stupid parties, bad food and loud people) and who have poor table manners. I would also never date a smoker or someone who listened to Howard Stern. Seems fair right? Well the last two will never happen but the hubby of 10 years has been nagged for his relaxed married eating habits and has been told to go to his friends house for the Super Bowl. So sad but I can't return him, based on him breaking my rules.

Liz said...

I'm waiting for a man that is tall, dark,handsome, has some mysterious qualities, and plays the organ. Why does that description sound familiar to me?