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Thursday, June 10, 2010

The Hills

Confession. I've gotten sucked into a completely soul sucking show this spring. It's called The Hills and it's the devil.

Spencer's insane, Brody's a jerk, Kristen is completely vapid (sorry Justin), and Heidi no longer resembles a human being. But I can't stop watching. I'm not proud of this, by the way. I feel much like Jerry when he didn't want to admit to his girlfriend that he watched Melrose Place (check out the clip, it's hilarious).

So I pretty much keep this guilty pleasure to myself. But the other day at the flower shop, I had an interesting conversation with the young cashier when I was checking out. It told me a lot about the viewership I am now a part of.

Cashier: I have to ask you something.
Me: Ok.
C: Do you watch The Hills?

Me: Uh...yes.

C: You look exactly like A----!

Me: Really? I don't think so.
C: Ohmygosh, you look exactly like her. Like, your eyes and face...wow. Except that she has brown hair and brown eyes, but you look like you could be her sister. Seriously.
Me: Well, I'm flattered. Thanks.
C: Like, if you moved to L.A. and dyed your hair brown and wore makeup, people would think you were her like all the time. They'd be screaming her name at you.

Me: Really?

C: It's crazy. Seriously.


Did you like that bit about "if you wore makeup..."? So did I. For the record, I was wearing makeup. Also for the record, I really don't look like the girl she said I look like (although I wish I did).

Do you have a guilty pleasure show? One you don't really like to admit you love? You know you do. If you don't, I saw one last night called "You're Cut Off" on VH1 that I would highly recommend for it's soul suckingness and addictive qualities. Plus it has that element of "I feel much better about myself because I'm not as bad as these people" to it. I think that's one of the major appeals of reality shows, isn't it?

And if you watch the Hills, fess up. We have much to discuss.

27 comments:

Wolfgang said...

Kristin is the most real person on that show. I'm sorry that you can't see that.

Kathy said...

Who's idea was it to start listening to The Hills around here? We've all gotten sucked in, and I don't see any hope of returning to my pre-Hills innocence.

And you're right about Kristin. She's horrible. And a drug addict. So sad.

Wolfang said...

I don't remember anything about my life pre-Hills.

KRISTIN IS NOT A DRUG ADDICT!!!! You really need to stop hanging around that lying gossip Audrina.

Elizabeth Downie said...

Then what exactly was Kristin doing in Miami, Wolfgang?? Why did she ditch her friends and why was she wearing dark sunglasses the next day after being out ALL night? Huh? Also, why does she weigh 80 lbs!?

Wolfgang said...

I've heard enough about her weight, particularly about her "skinny" legs. I see no correlation between that and drug use. I happen to have skinny legs- some call me "chicken legs" as a matter of fact. I also wear dark sunglasses inside sometimes. AND I plan on going to Miami some day. Does that mean I'm a drug addict?

Kathy said...

It wasn't Audrina, Wolfgang. She's FAR too sweet to gossip, even though Krisin totally deserves to be trashed after stealing Justin from her.

Elizabeth Downie said...

She stole Justin from Audrina? That guy with the beard from the previous season? Also, wasn't Audrina dating Brody and now Kristin is hooking up with him? I'm pretty sure it was Stephanie who spread the truth about Kristin's drug use.

Ok...this is starting to get embarrassing.

Sara said...

A friend got me sucked into Rock of Love when it was on the air. And then she stopped watching it, but I couldn't. Thank god it's not on anymore!

Wolfgang said...

are you not forgetting that Kristin dated Brody for a long time BEFORE Audrina even came along? So Audrina messed up first.

Kathy said...

Oh Wolfgang. So naive. And we have been meaning to talk to you about your drug problem....

So if I was dating a guy, we broke up and Elizabeth starting dating him, it would be perfectly ok for me to swoop in and manipulate him back into my arms? I think not. Kristin is no good.

Wolfgang said...

I'M naive???? Oh no you didn't...

I think what Audrina did is WAY worse. Kristin and Brody dated for 4 years and then Audrina "swooped in" like a vulture the moment they broke up. What is that!!! Some friend! Audrina started the war.

I don't know why I'm bothering anymore. You'll never see the light.

P.S. My set-up is probably going to be late now.

Elizabeth Downie said...

Oh, so Audrina's that bad guy!?!?!? WHAT ABOUT BRODY!?!?! The guy has NO morals. At least Audrina had the sense to kick him to the curb this time. Kristin however, is BEGGING him to be her boyfriend again.

Kathy said...

Brody is a jerk. He and Kristin are soulmates. Both of them have a track record for being selfish.

Wolfgang, I think all of the partying with Kristin has affected your view on matters. It's time to stop wearing matching dark sunglasses during the day with her, and admit you need help.

Sarah said...

Doesn't anyone watch and want to discuss "The Bachelorette" with me? That's my embarrassing, I-can't-believe-I'm-still-watching-this-but-won't-miss-it-for-anything reality show. :)

Wolfgang said...

well Kathy, I'm not going to deny the dark sunglasses. Everyone looks at us when we are walking down the street together. It's a great feeling. I'm sorry that your feelings of jealousy have allowed you to assume that dark sunglasses are linked to drugs.

Elizabeth Downie said...

Sarah, I really need to start watching that show so we can discuss it. And Sara, I would have never pictured you watching Rock of Love! I love it. I wish you lived closer so I could join you for it. No judgment here.

Wolfgang, I hope you and Kristin live a long happy life together. And I hope you both get the help you need.

Katherine said...

Ha! You guys are ridiculous! Though I did get sucked into General Hospital for a year or two right after high school and had similar absurd discussions. Definitely a guilty pleasure!
P.S. E, the opening paragraph of this post is one of the best ever!!!

karajean said...

My guilty pleasure show?

Toddlers and Tiaras. Makes me want to die inside, and yet, I watch.

jules said...

I LOVE the hills!!! Have since it was Laguna Beach and Kristen was a shady, deuche then...some things never change. But I like her.

I can't WAIT to see Heidi and Spencer's new show!!

I also watch (with no shame)
The City
The Bachelorette
Keeping up with the Kardasians
K&K in Miami
Kendra
AND
Anything Real World/ Road Rules.

I try to keep all my TV viewing as mind numbing as possible :)

Melissa C said...

So, I didn't read all the previous comments. I watched the Hills when Keira was first born, just because it was on during her naptime when I was stuck in front of the TV holding her so she would stay asleep. It was totally addictive. I saw that VH1 show, and totally wanted to watch it as well, but Ryan had the remote. I used to watch Gossip Girl all the time, but Ryan was really offended by one episode and unprogramed and deleted all the episodes on the DVR. He didn't even watch it ever, just read some article on it that made him offended! We did watch the OC together when it was on. I miss that show...

TheSinglesWard said...

Our soul sucking show is Half Pint Brawlers. It's terrible.

Claire said...

I am such a reality tv junkie. It is a PROBLEM. I watch Survivor, The Amazing Race, The Bachelor/ette, Dancing with the Stars, So You Think You Can Dance, America's Next Top Model, The Superstars, I Survived A Japanese Game Show...

I need to join a support group.

Robert said...

The Hills is still on?

Elizabeth Downie said...

Nice try, Robert. Acting like you didn't know that... ;)

Datin'Kait said...

Golden Girls, all the way! I don't even keep it a secret anymore. I was crushed when I heard the lady who plays Blanche died recently.

sterlingandbrandi said...

I actually haven't watched every single episode this season but I OWN the others!! It can't be worse than owning ALL seasons of laguna beach and hills. And I can kinda see the Audrina connection (if you wore makeup)

Adam4President2012 said...

I watched the first season and also Lauguna Beach. but then I became a man and I haven't looked back.