And that's why I'm still single.

My friend Sarah and I get together 2-3 times a week to work out. Along with exercising, these sessions are mostly about catching up and talking about our lives - one part of our lives in particular really. I'd say the breakdown of our conversations is something like this:


5% how was your day
5% miscellaneous
90% men/dating

We talk about guys we're interested in, dates we go on (Sarah has the most hilarious date stories of anyone I know), and dissect much more than we actually should. Should I confess that? (Too late.) We talk about the good and the bad. But one thing I've noticed lately is that many of our stories or complaints end with the conclusion, "....And that's why I'm still single."

Now, I should make it clear that we take equal responsibilty for things occassionally going badly - we don't just blame the guys. Recently I told a story which upon telling, made me realize that I handled a certain situation badly. We laugh sometimes when we realize that we probably don't always know what we're doing in the dating department (and that's why we're still single!). I mean, why else would two smart, fun, attractive, humble women still be single, right?

In thinking about this, I've come up with two solutions to solve my dating problems. One: ask a guy friend to go on a date with me. I'd tell him up front that it was a "teaching" date, but we'd never mention that while on the date - otherwise it wouldn't be natural (as if anyone can be "natural" on a date). He would observe my dating behavior and at the end give me feedback. Of course, to make it realistic, he'd pay for the date. I mean, it'd have to feel real, right?

The only problem with this one is that if he gives me negative feedback, I might get mad and try to break up with him. Then he'd have to remind me that we're just friends and let's face it - things might be awkward for awhile.

My second idea is to do what George Costanza from Seinfeld did at one point, and that is to do everything the opposite of what my instincts tell me. If it worked for George, it's guaranteed to work for me, right? For example, if I feel like I should not call a guy, I'll call him. If I am too scared to talk to him, I'll approach him. Um... this one sounds like a lot more work than the first one and much scarier.

See what I mean? Already I'm rejecting two perfectly good, reasonable ideas. One thing is for sure though, in discussing our dating lives Sarah and I have learned something important: we know what not to do, but we don't know what to do. Ok, that's not true. We don't know what not to do either. One of these days we'll figure it out, but until then, our work out sessions will have to double as dating therapy sessions. And hopefully someday these sessions won't end with the same refrain.