Friday, July 11, 2008

Mr. Pretty Legs

Every year for the past, oh....some-odd years, Saline has hosted the annual Celtic Festival. There's a parade, and a bunch of stuff I don't know about. Why don't I know about it? Because I've never been. People who don't live in Saline but have heard about the Celtic Festival are always surprised to find out that I've never been - after all, it's the only thing they've ever heard about happening in Saline! But the thing is, I don't even know what a Celt is. I mean, are Celts from Celtland? I'm kidding... but I really do need to look up where Celtic people are from. All right, I just looked it up and the Wikipedia information was less than helpful. I guess it will remain a mystery. This video did help clarify a little bit: (awesome promo video).

Moving on, this year things have changed and I'm in! That's right, for the first time, I am going to the Celtic Festival! I'm going for two reasons:

1) Katherine is in charge of the kids section and needs help and by helping her, I can get in free.
2) The Mr. Pretty Legs competition

That's right- you heard me! The only thing is, I'm not sure if the actually Mr. Pretty Legs competition (or is it a pageant?) can be half as hilarious as the information given on the registration form which starts with: "Calling All Men In Kilts!" It then lists the official rules which are: must be male, must wear a kilt, must be 18 years old (or older, I'm assuming). Then it lists the judging criteria, which is my favorite part of the form:
  • How well you carry yourself across the stage
  • How your kilt sways (my favorite criteria, by far)
  • Overall impression from the waist down (I'm not sure what that means)
  • Judges combined opinions
  • Audience applause
There is also a note at the bottom of the form that says, "Please note: the current first place winner is not eligible to compete until 2009." Um....did they really have to put that on the registration form? I mean, doesn't that only apply to one person and couldn't they have just contacted him directly about it?

So anyway, Kathy, my friend at work, found the registration form online and gave it to Justin who filled it out. His answers cracked me up, so I thought I'd share some of them with you:

Name: Justin "Legs" Smith (his last name isn't actually Smith, I'm just protecting his identity ;))
Address: 1116 Slenderlegs Ave

Do you think all men should wear a kilt, and why?

Yes, if you're over the age of 18, it should be a requirement.

How many different kilts do you own?
87 (22 of which are homemade)

Why do you think you should win?
I've got the walk, the legs, and 8 years of experience.

Hilarious. I'm most likely not actually going to go to the competition, but the forms alone truly entertained me. In my high school we had a Mr. Pretty Legs competition as part of home coming, but I never really thought much of it. I remember looking at pictures of the guy's legs for voting purposes and thinking that they all looked alike. But I guess kilts change everything!


Sarah "calves of steel" Franpom said...

You know what is crazy...I talk about the "Mr. Pretty Legs" contest from homecoming like it's a normal thing...that and "Drive your tractor to school" day!

Anyhow, you're right...kilts would definitely change the entire scenario!! :) I think I speak for all of your readers when I say that we'll expect you to attend the contest, and we'll expect a post about it within 24 hours! :)

Elizabeth Downie said...

I was JUST telling someone this morning about drive your tractor to school day!

Ok, I'll try to go tonight...if I must (head hanging down). ;) It actually would be really funny, I'm sure. They said on the form that they'll read the contestants answers as they "walk the walk" across the stage. I'm sure it'll be funny.

Katherine said...

Oh, MAN! Justin needs to enter this competition. He'll win based on number of kilts owned alone! ;) I agree with Miss Franpom - you need to go, and you need to blog about it. I really like your comments on each of the requirements, too! Hilarious. Glad I got you to go this year!!

Christi said...

Yeah, I agree that you can't blog about a Mr. Pretty Legs contest and then say you aren't going. I expect details!
Did you really have 'Drive your tractor to school' day? Wasn't there some sort of liability involved? I can't imagine that is safe. Even less safe than having swing sets on school grounds!

Kristin said...

I'd like to declare to the world that I dated a boy that if I remember correctly, won SHS's pretty legs contest. Maybe I'll hit up that Celtic festival next year.