Wednesday Thoughts

Ugh. Election season is upon us. I mean, it has been pretty much since Obama was inaugurated, but now it's in our faces even more. Yesterday was the presidential primary in Michigan, and Facebook makes it impossible not to know where your friends stand on the candidates. Since I'm a member of the Orange party*, and didn't vote yesterday, I thought I'd be free from judgment and/or irritation, but I wasn't.

And the election is still 8 months away, which means 8 more months of debates, hurt feelings, threats to move to Canada, crying, binge eating, slamming doors, bad hair cuts, robocalls, burnt cookies, and so on. 8 more months of that stuff.

So to help us all get through it, I thought I'd come with:

Elizabeth's Guide to Surviving Election Season

1. Delete your Facebook account and go back to Myspace. Or better yet, Friendster. No wait, better yet still: snail mail. (Oh! Chain letters! Remember how much fun those were?)

2. If you can't bring yourself to delete your Facebook account, "hide" everyone with obnoxious political opinions. But just to mix it up, "unhide" Farmville requests.

3. Change your profile picture to something like this:

It's sort of a catch-all. No one is really sure who you're voting for. Or if you're in your right mind at all! Win/win!

4. When a friend asks you your political feelings, start playing the "repeat game" that five year olds have mastered. It'll go something like this:

Person A: "So, what do you think of Ron Paul?"
You: "So, what do you think of Ron Paul?"
A: "That's what I said."
You: "That's what I said."
A: "What are you doing?"
You: "What are you doing?"
A: "Oh, I get it, you're repeating me!"
You: "Oh, I get it, you're repeating me!"
A: "I'm an idiot."
You: "You're an idiot."

Nailed it.

5. No matter which candidate people are talking about, say, "If he wins I'm moving to Canada." Do some research on Canada. Find out that's where Avril Lavigne is from. Change mind.

6. On election day, go to the polls and write in "Mickey Mouse." For the next four years, say, "don't blame me, I voted for Mickey Mouse." Be that guy.

With these tips you and I can make it through 2012 stronger than ever. Until December anyway, because that's when the world will end.

Happy Wednesday!

Oh! And happy Leap Day!

*the Orange party is a party that I just made up. It focuses on eating creamcicles, Cheetos, and cheddar cheese, raising Clown Fish, drinking Fanta, and repeating our motto, "Orange is the new black."

My Oscar Picks Because I Know You Want to Know

Roll out the red carpet because tomorrow is the OSCARS! Yeah, I don't care that much either. But unlike most years, this year I've actually seen most of the nominations for best picture except The Descendants, The Tree of Life, and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.

I added a skirt since
modest is hottest.

The other movies nominated (which I have seen) are: War Horse, The Artist, The Help, Hugo, Midnight in Paris, and Moneyball.

Anyway, since soooooooooooooooooo many people have been asking*, I won't keep you waiting anymore! Here are Elizabeth's Oscar Picks!

By the way, I'm only stating my opinion in the categories I care about.

Best Picture: The Artist - this movie was just amazing. Unique, daring, charming, moving, and beautiful. If you haven't seen it yet, please do. It was magical. I loved loved loved it.

Best Supporting Actress: Octavia Spencer, from The Help. She was awesome in this roll, and I really hope she wins it.

Best Actress: Viola Davis, The Help. I haven't seen any of the other movies the other best actresses were nominated for, but they probably weren't as good as Viola Davis was in The Help. I hope Meryl Streep doesn't punch me in the neck for saying that (she would - I'm pretty sure).

Best Actor: Jean Dujardin, The Artist. Because this is a silent film, he had to do so much acting with his expressions, and it was a beautiful thing to see. Partly because of his skill, and partly because he is beautiful. (Move over Magnum, I might finally have a new celebrity crush!)

hummina hummina hummina

Best Horse: War Horse. This was a close one, but it's gotta be war horse cause he just played the part so well. Most of his acting was done with his eyes. I just knew what he was feeling.

Best French accent: I know you thought I was going to say Jean Dujardin, or maybe any of the actors in Hugo, but no, it's gotta be Owen Wilson in Midnight in Paris. He only said a few words in French in that movie, but I'm almost positive he nailed the French accent. Nailed it.

Best Hugo: Probably Hugo, from the movie "Hugo" but if there's a Hugo in another movie I'd have to check him out too.

So yes, (insert Oscar-style music here) those are Elizabeth's Oscar Picks. What are some of yours?

*no one has asked.

Wednesday Thoughts

Last night I went on an little adventure with my friend Sarah. Our friend Sara was supposed to join us, but she wasn't feeling well and couldn't make it. Sarah and Sara (who I refer to as "the Sara(h)s") and I go way back. All the way back to high school in fact. Since Sara moved back to Michigan a year or so ago, we've made it a point to get together as often as our busy schedules allow.

Here's a picture of the Sara(h)'s from our high school years. This picture is posted WITHOUT permission and they're probably going to kill me for posting it. (They haven't changed a bit since high school, except in the good ways - click here for evidence.)

This picture was taken on a school trip to Cedar Point and we were celebrating Sarah's birthday.... with Winnie the Pooh? No idea.

In the spirit of fairness, I will now post a picture of myself from around that time - my high school graduation. For some reason I can only find this picture where my eyes are closed. (Here is a link to an even more embarrassing picture of me.)

It was the 90's.

Anyway, for our adventure last night we had two things on the agenda: eat at Blimpy Burger for the first time (as I mentioned yesterday) and go to a Moth Story Slam, which is a program on public radio. Here's an account of our little adventure.

Part I of III
First we went to Blimpy Burger, which did not disappoint. Actually, that's a lie. It did disappoint because the fryer was down! No french fries? Not cool, Blimpy Burger! But the burgers didn't disappoint. I was totally intimidated about ordering because I've heard horror stories about harassment and humiliation by the cook who yells at you if you order incorrectly. But luckily that cook was not working yesterday and we had a good experience with the cook on duty. But then the strangest thing happened that proved to me that Blimpy Burger is a unique place. When they gave me my change, it contained a two dollar bill and a half dollar coin. What?! Is that even real money?

That's Sarah in the window!

A Blimpy Burger!!

Like anyone even knows who Jefferson is!

Part II of III
After that we picked up a paczki for Sarah since she had not eaten one that day (a near-travesty), then we went to a local used book store where Sarah found a very cool pop-up book in the art section! (This is called living on the edge, people. We're un-tamable!)

Part III of III
Then we went to the Moth Story Slam which was a very interesting experience. It was held at a bar called "Circus" which had a total 90's feel to it. It felt like a mix between The Bronze and the bar where Mike Meyers told his "Woman, Woman, Woman" poems in "So I Married an Axe Murderer". ("What is this, Cup-o-ccino!?)

Oh, and bonus: I ran into a coworker there who saw me and exclaimed, "Coworker!" as if that were my name. I'm 100% positive he does not know my name. And I have to admit, that thoroughly amused me. But anyway, the story slam was really cool. I'd definitely go again. The stories weren't as awkward as the ones I've heard on NPR - in fact, the first woman to get up to tell a story was about 85 years old and her story was awesome. She was a hit with the crowded room of hipsters and intellectuals (and me).

Now on to the next adventure.....suggestions?

Happy Wednesday!

Putting the Fat in Fat Tuesday

Hey, hey, hey! It's Faaaaaaaaaaat Tuesday! (Please tell me you read that in the Fat Albert voice! [Yeah, I'm too young to know about Fat Albert too.])

As you guys probably know, today is Mardi Gras, which is French for Fat Tuesday. (I just learned that yesterday so now I have to act like I'm smart. I knew about Mardi Gras and I knew about Fat Tuesday but I never knew one meant the other. [yeah, this is going to be that kind of post.])

I'm not Catholic, but from what I understand, Mardi Gras is an opportunity for Catholics to eat all the fattening foods they can before the beginning of Lent (which starts tomorrow, Ash Wednesday). But for midwesterners we also think of Fat Tuesday as Paczki Day! Growing up, I thought eating paczkis was the way everyone acknowledged Fat Tuesday, but it turns out it's a bit more of a midwestern thing, due to the large Polish communities in the midwest. So in case you've never heard of them before, paczkis are a polish donut and just thinking about them makes your butt grow two sizes.

By looking at this picture you gained a pound. Sorry.

I have been on a diet for all of 2012 pretty much, but I had a paczki this morning - lemon filled. And it was delicious. But as far as putting the FAT in Fat Tuesday is concerned, I'm not stopping there. Oh no. One paczki is not enough. I'm also going to a restaurant tonight called "Blimpy Burger", a locally famous burger joint that I've never been to because as far as I see it, the name contains a warning.

I'm also scared because from what I hear, you get yelled at if you don't know exactly what you're ordering. Anyone who's been there have any tips for me? Here's a clip of  Blimpy Burgers being featured on Diners, Drive-ins and Dives so you can see what I'm talking about. It looks like a real "no soup for you" situation.



Happy Fat Tuesday! What's the most fattening thing you're eating today?

Wednesday Thoughts

It seems the most popular meme these days on Facebook is the one that focuses on one group of people and breaks it down into categories like, "What my mom thinks I do; What society thinks I do; What I actually do." The first one I saw was about doctors, the next was about public relations people, then cyclists and so on. 

As I saw more and more of these pop up in my newsfeed this week my resentment grew. None of them applied to me! Except the one for Mormons which did amuse me, and which I will post here:

It's true, we do stack a lot of chairs after meetings

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that no one has made one for technical librarians, which is what I am. I blame it on the fact that no one knows what a technical librarian is, so none of the jokes would be funny except to the 35 of us in the world (give or take a few). And even then, the jokes wouldn't be that funny. Plus it's hard to find pictures of crickets chirping which is what I'd use for most of the boxes.

So I decided to take matters into my own hands and make one just for me. But who am I? (Please read that question in a dream-state "dear diary" like reflective voice.) I mean, I'm single, I'm a woman, I blog, I'm a Mormon (I sound like one of those commercials), I'm a technical librarian, a Michigander, an English major, a Democrat (you barely noticed that cause I slipped it in so smoothly, right?), a Simpons fan, and so on.

That's a bit too much information to fit into one meme though, so I decided to stick with the aspects of my personality that you might know.

 In case you can't enlarge the picture, I'll break it down here clockwise from the left:

1. What my friends think I do: play Dr. Mario (they tell themselves this so they can feel better when I destroy them at it).
2. What my grandma thinks I do: Go on romantic dates
3. What my niece thinks I do: Wear make up and dress like a princess
4. What my blog readers think I do: Make Prancing Leo memes
5. What I think I do: Spread joy to the world
6. What I actually do: Browse Pinterest (link to my page)

Happy Wednesday!

The Hardest Thing About Being Single

Being single isn't the worst thing in the world. I know Valentine's Day is hard for a lot of my single friends, but let's face it, we don't have it that bad! I mean, today we can do lots of awesome things!! Like:

* not resent your significant other for not doing anything special for Valentine's Day
* not have to spend a lot of money on a present for anyone
* use your loneliness as an excuse to eat chocolate all day
* wonder why you're alone
* reminisce about past relationships and think about what you could have done differently
* drive by your ex's house and wonder who's car that is in the driveway
* look in their window just to check
* go home and eat a gallon of ice cream

I kid, I kid. I actually like Valentine's Day a lot. I already had a piece of (sugar free) chocolate for breakfast to celebrate. Being single isn't the worst. Of course I would rather be in a happy relationship than single, but I try to make the best of my situation instead of wallowing. There is one area though, where I really wish I was married. I think you know what I'm talking about: ghost protection.

It goes without saying that for the most part, I don't think about ghosts. I mean, I am an adult, for crying out loud. I shouldn't be afraid of the dark. And I'm not except for when I see a scary movie, which is what happened this past weekend. I saw the new horror movie "The Woman in Black" starring Harry Potter. Sadly, Hermione and Ron weren't in it, and Harry didn't cast any spells. Pretty sure his name was Arthur in this movie too. Very confusing.

Anyway, Harry Potter went to work in this haunted old mansion for reasons unclear, and every time he turned around this terrifying "woman in black" was creeping around messing with his head and committing unspeakable crimes in town. And one thing she loves is showing up when you least expect her. You think there's nothing in the room with you? Did you check that dark corner? Cause she's there! Oh, you think you're going to quietly read? Nope - the WIB (Woman in Black) is coming down the hallway! Peacefully looking out the window? SO IS SHE. RIGHT NEXT TO YOU.

I didn't feel too scared after the movie, just sort of creeped out. But that night at 2:00am when I woke up  to go to the bathroom, that's when I remembered the WIB and that's when I knew she was waiting for me in the hallway. In fact, I was almost certain she was. Unwilling to face her, I somehow willed myself back to sleep which you know isn't easy when you've gotta go. But at 5:00am, I woke up again for the aforementioned reason. And at this point, the situation was more urgent than ever. So, I turned on every light imaginable along the way and faced my fears like a grown up.
 
It's at times like this, I wish I were married. I really don't like facing ghosts in the hallway in the middle of the night alone. It's the worst part of being single. Everyone knows a ghost is less likely to attack if someone else is in the room with you. It's practically a scientific fact.

If I'm not married by the time I'm 40, I'm getting a toilet installed in my bedroom. Just for emergencies, not for normal use. (I mean, I'm not gross.) It's only for nights when I wake up in the middle of the night and don't want to face the ghosts in the hallway. In fact, just to make sure it's clear, I'll put a sign above that says, "For Ghost Avoidance Only." If that's not taking care of my problems like an adult, I don't know what is.

Happy Valentine's Day.

This is your brain on a diet

Some of you might remember that old drug PSA from the 80's that said:

"This is drugs." (showing a frying pan with hot butter in it)

"This is your brain on drugs." (showing an egg frying in the pan)

"Any questions?"

The point was that drugs are no bueno if you want a functioning brain. I am not on drugs but I am on a diet, and I am starting to wonder if my diet is affecting my brain function sort of like that egg in the frying pan.

I think this brain-fried diet feeling is common because I've had several friends say to me, "I want to go on a diet but I don't want to get all obsessive-crazy like I usually do when I diet." I think effective dieting takes a healthy mental attitude, which doesn't come without work and a lot of positive self-talk. Without that your brain can go COO COO. Anyone who's dieted knows this.

When you diet, you're constantly thinking about your diet. "Eat carrots not chips. Are you hungry or just bored? Don't forget to write down in your food journal what you ate! How much fiber is in this?Nothing tastes as good as skinny (or healthy) feels! Don't even think about cookies." And so on. Dieting takes constant vigilance. In other words, you are thinking about it all. the. time.

Why am I talking about this? Because something happened to me last night that was very telling about the way my brain has been functioning. It was in a textversation I was having with my friend Erin.

Erin's text is in gray, mine is in green.

This is my brain on a diet.

Wednesday Thoughts

This winter has been incredibly mild. Practically warm, really. So why am I still miserable? I think it can be explained pretty easily by this picture I took yesterday.

It's gray outside. All the time. In fact, when the sun does come out, it's a topic of conversation.

"Today wasn't too bad! The sun came out for a bit!"
"Did you guys see that strange orb in the sky earlier? Anyone know what that was?"
"Ahhh! She burns!" (cowering)

Anyway, enough whining. Here's something funny. The last TWO days I've seen this car parked like this in two different locations. Why!? No, really, why!?

I don't know why that guy parks like that day after day, but it definitely amuses me. And why do I assume it's a guy? That's sexist.

I got a mini-crockpot this week and I'm super excited about it for one reason only: lil smokies. I told my mom about buying the mini-crockpot and how excited I was about making lil smokies. She said she was craving them with all my talking about it. I said, "I'll make some soon. I have all the ingredients. Except the lil smokies." My sister says I just bought the crockpot because I like saying lil smokies. She's not wrong.

Have any of you been doing the "Fab Ab February" workout? How's it been going? A couple of people have asked me what a plank is, and as far as I know, a plank looks like this:

Ok, that was a really lame joke. It actually looks like this:

The first few days of the workout I was hurting all day, but it's gotten a lot less painful. Have you guys noticed your abs getting more and more fab?

Happy Wednesday.

Brain Happenings

I feel like I have a lot of things on my mind today but none of them are connected. I've thought about writing a blog post for each of these thoughts, but none of them really lend themselves to too much expansion. Especially the first one. I hope you can relate to at least some of these!

*Channing Tatum is the most confusing celebrity name. No one sounds sure of themselves when they say it. It's like they're always adding a question mark to his last name.

*I skipped the second half of the Superbowl last night (most of which I missed because I was playing games) to watch Downton Abbey. Between Downton Abbey and NPR, I'm worried I'm becoming a "type". Good thing I listen to classic rock in the car at all times to balance things out (unless I'm listening to NPR, of course).

*I saw The Artist last week and haven't been able to stop thinking about it ever since. It was such a good movie! Have you seen it? Would you see a silent film? I can't say enough good about it. Except that I think in addition to all the categories it's already been Oscar nominated for, it should also be nominated for "best smiles". Oh also, I got a new celebrity crush from this movie (though I shouldn't have to specify which of these three it is, I will: the man).

*I have a new favorite person to follow on Twitter lately (well, second favorite since Bridger is the funniest person on Twitter as far as I'm concerned). This new person goes by "Now I'm Worried" and uses this (presumably fake) picture:

Some of her "worries" include things like:

"Now I'm worried about Drew Carey getting fat again."

"Now I'm worried that I overfed my neighbor's fish and over watered their cactus and everything will be dead when they get home."

"Now I'm worried because I don't know who to call to get the knot out of my sweatpants. A handyman?"

"Now I'm worried because my tooth feels loose and it's Sunday."

When I first stumbled upon this Twitter account, I laughed till I cried (well, almost, anyway). 

*My sister showed me an optical illusion over the weekend. When I realized what it was, I got mad and said, "You know I hate optical illusions!!" She laughed and said, "I know, that's why I showed it to you." Then laughed in a very evil fashion. Am I the only one out there who hates optical illusions? They give me both a headache and a stomach ache at the same time!

Anyway, those are some of my thoughts today. The ones I feel like sharing anyway. What are some of yours?

Pinterest Finds Saturday

Beaker cake pops!!

Vase with style! Source

From here

This nearly made me LOL. From here.

From here.

I'm not really sure why I find this so funny.

Been there. Link

All of these make me smile. What's your favorite?

What a Girl Wants

This post is about Valentine's Day again, just to warn you. If you are a reader who hates Valentine's Day, come back in a couple days and I'll have more non-Valentine's Day posts for you. Promise!

In the comments of my previous post about ideas for Valentine's Day, I got a hilarious comment from a male reader (and friend):

"this was such a chick post...I got nothin'"

He's right. It was a "chick" post. But in my defense, I am a woman so of course the ideas I chose were ones women would be inclined to do. So his comment got me thinking, what are some good ideas that men can do for women for Valentine's Day?

Well, unlike Whitney Houston, I'm not every woman*, so I don't know what every woman would like. But I know what I would like, and we'll use that as a jumping off point. Some things you should take into account about me when reading my list: I don't like a lot of pomp and circumstance. I prefer gifts or gestures with meaning over cost. But I do have a few ideas of things I would like, and women - you can add to the list for any male readers looking for suggestions!

Oh, before I start I should tell that I am in no way shape or form an expert. In fact, it may be in your best interest to do the opposite of all my suggestions. That being said, here are some ideas for men to use on Valentine's Day.

1. Pajamagrams!! I heard about this on the radio the other day and really really wanted some. It's a package that can be shipped overnight and contains pajamas, chocolates, sleep mask, and more. Click here to check it out! Just be careful on sizes if you're guessing. Trust me. Actually, just don't guess. Too risky. And if you are guessing, guess down. Never order XXXL if you're not completely and totally sure. Even then, order XXL, just to flatter her a bit.

2. Personalized M&M's. This is totally the kind of gift I would brag like crazy about if someone did it for me. Click here for more details.

3. Breakfast in bed. Now, this is one I would NOT want because if this happened it would mean a guy broke into my house and snuck into my bedroom. But I'm sure if I was married, this is one I would love. Oh, and future husband, if you're reading this, I'd love a cheese danish, a couple eggs, some bacon, and a glass of OJ.

4. Flowers. Like I said, I don't represent every woman here, and some may not like flowers. But I love flowers, and I think most women do (correct me if I'm wrong, ladies). Just be careful not to send a dozen red roses to a girl you've gone on two dates with. (I just shuddered, for real.)

Ok, the more I think about it, the more I think flowers are tricky. But if you're in a comfortable relationship with someone, flowers are a safe bet. Just stick with playful ones if the relationship is new - daisies, tulips, etc. (those are the best kinds of flowers, anyway). Personally, I don't like flowers too early on in the relationship. Freaks me out a little bit. But that might just be me. Wow, I'm making the whole flowers thing a bit overly complicated. You know what? If you're unsure about the flowers thing, just get her chocolate. You can't go wrong with chocolate. Just don't get her the wrong kind of chocolate.**

Is that better, male readers? Did that help you at all? I hope you found something here you can use!

*did anyone get that joke/reference?
** I'm just messing with you now.

Me? Posting about love?

Source

{Insert happy sigh here!} It's February, the month of Valentine's Day. As you know if you've been reading this blog for awhile, I love Valentine's Day. Even though I'm single and even though if I'm being totally honest with you I might be a tiny bit bitter, I still love it. When I say I'm a tiny bit bitter, here's what I mean: if you tell me an extremely romantic story about how in love you are with your significant other, I will smile on the outside but ache on the inside. And also, kind of wish you would stop talking about it.

Wow, that was more honest than I usually am on here.

But anyway, when it comes to love in general, I love it. So I've been collecting ideas on pinterest for the past few months on ways to celebrate love. I hope you will use some of them to celebrate the ones you love this month! To start, I really like this necklace that goes along with one of the most beautiful poems about love I know: "i carry your heart with me" by e.e. cummings. Here is my favorite part of that poem - the last stanza:

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

To read the whole poem, click here. I encourage you to do it, even if you're single and 30% bitter. It will still warm your heart. Without further ado, some Pinterest finds that celebrate love. 

Such a cute idea!! (source)

I wish I were this skilled...(source)

Apparently I express love with sugar (source)

This isn't the first time I've featured a smitten on this blog, and it won't be the last.

 (source)

Perfect for Midwestern lovers! Ew. Sorry I said lovers. Anyway,  back to food:

With some sprinkles this would really pop. Get it? Pop? (source)

This would make me very happy since eggs are my favorite! (source)

Double sigh. (source)

I'm in love with this idea (from here).

Which is your favorite? You have almost two weeks to figure out how to make or buy this stuff and surprise your lucky loved one! So get on it!

Wednesday Thoughts

Source

I've been thinking a lot about body image lately. Whenever I diet, I find there's a very thin line between healthy changes and insanity. It's very easy for me to become extremely overly self critical when I diet. It's something I'm working on.

I recently watched an interesting movie called "America The Beautiful" about our culture's obsession with physical beauty. The movie was painful to watch because of how truthful it was, and because of how critical I can be of myself based on these societal (and self inflicted) pressures. There's so much I could say here, but I don't think I'm ready to yet. Every time I finish this paragraph, I back-space over almost everything I've written.

My thoughts on the subject of body image aren't new or original. I just think it's important to remember that everyone really is beautiful in their own way. And when you think about the people you really love, you don't love them because of their looks. You love them because of who they are and how they make you feel. But we (especially women, though I know men aren't exempt) are overly critical of our own looks as if that's all anyone likes about us.

I have so much more to say on this subject, but I'll get back to it another day. For now, I am working on keeping a healthy approach to diet and exercise. I just have to watch myself closely to make sure I don't cross over the line to obsessive crazy person. ("How many calories are in this water?" or "If I don't lose five more pounds no one will ever love me and I'll die alone!")

With healthy changes in mind, I found this great idea on Pinterest called "Fab Abs February" (try saying that three times fast). I'm going to do it starting today! Anyone else want to join me?

Source

You guys, by March we are going to have some seriously fab abs. And that's the only time you'll ever hear me use the word "fab," for the record. And because fitness experts are always saying you need to work on your overall fitness and not just one area of your body, I thought of this clip from the Office last week and had to share it with you.



"I've been working out. BUT the problem is I've been building muscle underneath; and the top layer hasn't burned off yet. Awkward stage." -Darryl, The Office

In conclusion: healthy changes? Good! Insanity/distorted self image? Bad. Let's just stick with the healthy changes (though you really don't need to change at all because you seriously look amazing), and try to keep a healthy attitude in the process too, k?

Happy Wednesday.