Tuesday, August 31, 2010


While flipping through a magazine the other day (yes, this was at my ill fated doctors appointment), I came upon something that gave me pause. So much so that I took a picture of it and thought I'd get your feed back on it.

Here's what I found:

In case, for whatever reason, you can't see the image, it's a picture of a page in a magazine that defines something called "Pre-Dating." This is what it says:"It's a new term that describes what happens before a blind date: the research of someone's online history. It's a new phase of the would-be relationship!"

I love how it makes it sounds so peppy and normal - and not the slightest bit creepy or stalkery. But having just gone on several blind dates I can relate to the idea of "pre-dating." I will admit to looking the guys up on Facebook, at least. But beyond that, I'm kind of lazy when it comes to researching my dates. I always forget to google search them or try to find out if they have a criminal record or are on the Most Wanted list or anything like that.

How much effort do you put into stalking, er, I mean "researching" your dates? Should I be more concerned about the guys I go out with than I am?

I also can't help but wonder what a potential date would find out if he googled me. I suppose he would find my blog, but I'm going to try not to think about whether that would make him want to go out with me more or less.

Is the idea of "pre-dating" smart or creepy? And for those of you who have done it, have you found out anything that made you not want to go out with the person because of your research?


The Boob Nazi said...

I think it's smart.... and creepy. If I went on blind dates, I'd totally do it.

isspenguin said...

Yeah, I've "predated," I guess. I've read the dudes' Facebook info, looked at pictures, even Googled their name. I don't think it's creepy or stalkerish at all because all of that information is pubic domain.

I also think predating is wise. Let's say that prior to going on the blind date, you read inflammatory/racist/chauvinistic rants on the guy's blog or something. Instead of wasting your time sitting through an awkward dinner with someone who's ideology so starkly clashes with yours, you could cancel the date and move on to the next guy on your list!

I don't see how reading a dude's Facebook, blog, or resume online fall into the "weird" category at all. Now, following him around to observe his daily rituals, hacking into his email account, or reading his text msgs...that's crossing the line.

Linda said...

I think it's okay to do a little research [the opposite ideology idea rings true - why waste your time?] Before the internet, we just asked our friends what the guy was like. Is that pre-dating? And usually it was our friends setting us up so we knew it wasn't the Craig's list killer or his roommate.

Katherine said...

I think irlts a good idea to know something about the guy going into it, especially if your friends and family don't know him either. A little online research is OK, but hiring a P.I. Might be a bit much. Then you really have to be careful not to slip up and say something like, "Now was that before or after your uncle was thrown in jail?" or "Wow, I thought your hair plugs would look much less believeable. Those black and white photos didn't do them justice."

Sui Sin Far said...

I don't know. I have alot of artwork, writing and recordings out there online. It does seem just a little odd to me when someone I just met or about to go on a date with talks to me about something I wrote on my blog or a poem I recorded. Anyone can look at it, but it's only a little odd when I know they looked at it just because of some interest in me.

The question can go the other way. How do you feel when someone predates you?

~ Malissa ~ said...

Pre-Dating...I'm not sure how I feel about that one. But isn't that why we have good gossip (oxymoron there!)? I mean, it's usually a friend who sets you up on the date, so you obviously already know tid bits about the guy/girl you will be going out with, right? Besides, people do enough of "facebook stalking" as it is - I don't think we need anymore of that in this lifetime. That article kind of creeps me much as the snake!

lizzie mc.- said...

I died laughing... Stalkery...
and not thinking about if his reading your blog makes him want to date you more or less.

You have good taste in friends... I mean you ARE good friends w/ me after all. So true we'd ask the friend what they're like. But for the most part, if you've chosen your friends wisely, then their friends are likely to be par on the same course.

Liz said...

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