Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Wednesday Thoughts

It's been far too long since I've endorsed any as-seen-on-tv products. Remember the Arctic tie? And the Chillow? And of course, who could forget the Snuggie. Well, Chris brought to my attention an awesome new product that I absolutely had to share with you. It's called the Comfort Wipe and it's what you've always been looking for! I've been saying for years now that the days of old fashioned toilet paper are coming to an end. Check this out:

Ok, now that you've seen it, I can't pretend to endorse it anymore. It's just too hilarious. My favorite lines:

"For over 100 years, we've been scrunching and folding toilet paper. Finally, there's a better way!!!!!!" (Is it really that hard to fold and scrunch?)

"It's as easy to use as a shower brush!" (I've always found shower brushes hard to use, actually.)

"Think about it: toilet paper is really archaic and disgusting!" (So is going to the bathroom at all when you really think about it. Let's eliminate the whole process! Now that would be a product I could get behind! Get it? Behind...? Moving on...)

"Being a big guy certainly has its advantages and its disadvantages. This is a great product!" (That guy is never going to live this down.)

"The Comfort Wipe allows you to maintain your dignity." (That's the fakest accent I've ever heard. Also, Chris pointed out that "dignity" shouldn't be in this advertisement unless it's in a sentence that begins, "This will ensure total and permanent forfeiture of your...")

"The first improvement to toilet paper since the 1880s!" (I still don't know what's wrong with normal t.p. George Costanza already tried everything to improve t.p. and proved that it can't be done. Who do these people think they are!?)

"Don't be embarrassed, just get a comfort wipe!" (What could be more embarrassing?!)

Let's just say you were given a Comfort Wipe as a gift. Would you use it? I have a sneaking suspicion it's not as clean and "dignified" a product as they are implying. I won't get into details though in case you're eating.

Happy Wednesday!


Kathy said...

First- why would anyone need a whole 18 inches for that process? I've never measured or anything...but it seems unnecessary. Was the big guy implying he needed all 18 inches?

Second- they should really rethink having the color white on that product at all.

D said...

and you still have to fold the toilet paper to use it! And use archaic and disgusting Toilet paper too.

Katherine said...

That infomercial is suspiciously similar to that seatbelt bear thing. Almost too far-fetched to believe someone could actually be serious about endorsing it. The whole concept of the Comfort Wipe is disgusting!! If someone gave it to me, I would use it to dust hard-to-reach places. Just put in the paper towel, and go!

Anonymous said...

It looks like it'll be used for things other then wiping.

Michelle Williams said...

That is hysterical! But I know some obsessive compulsive clean freaks who would love it. And a few fat folk and preggies who do need the extra reach, although 18 inches...hahahaha! Thanks for the laugh!

Sarah said...

Can I just point out that maybe I've been doing it wrong all these years, but I don't go in for the wipe by going up over around and behind. This product makes no sense!! Now, I told you about the one that did make sense... :)

Emily said...

Hilarious. If I got the Comfort Wipe as a present I would definitely at least try it out - probably laughing the entire time. I'm laughing just thinking about it.