Thursday, March 27, 2014

Scary or not scary?

Hey guys. Remember how I recently wrote a post about all the drafts I have sitting in my draft folder? This was one of them. I wrote it before Halloween last year and I don't know why I didn't publish it. Maybe I got too scared. (Probably.)

Anyhoo, Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. I love getting scared - temporarily and in a controlled environment. Like watching a scary movie, or going on a haunted hayride. I'm not interested in being scared for real - like being stalked or attacked by a serial killer. Just to be clear.

Scary movies tend to have common themes, and some are more scary to me than others. I would say the scariest things to me are intruders (cause they're real!) and ghosts (because they MIGHT be real!). Other things... not so much. Here's a little list I made:

Zombies - Not scary. Silly. Ridiculous. I don't understand how these are scary. ALL they do is run into things and make grunting noises.

And eat brains.

Ghosts - Scary. Ghosts really scare me. Especially kid ghosts. No wait, women ghosts. Old women ghosts. AHHHH! Ghosts don't listen to logic. They're usually carrying grudges which for some reason are YOUR fault and even though you're not the one who killed them (I assume), they're going to treat you like you are and make your life a living H-E-double hockey sticks. Or they might just kinda watch you from the closet. Either way, I'm not a fan.

Witches - Kind of scary. It depends. Most of the time they're not scary, but the more wicked ones are. Still, I'm not going to lay in bed at night worrying about witches.

Aliens - Aliens are fine when they're just doing their thing. Saving the universe, exploring the universe, destroying Earth, living with the Tanner family and eating cats - fine. But when I hate them is when they're supposed to be scary. Just NO. They're not scary. Any time an alien is supposed to be scary, I have to let out a huge sigh and eye roll. They're usually a cop-out for when the writers didn't know how else to end the movie. They annoy me to no end.

Ghouls - no one even knows what ghouls are.

Demons - If they're meant to look like humans, they're scary. But if they're meant to look like animals, they're silly.

Vampires - No. And it's worth noting that they're usually super hot which of course, makes no sense since they have no access to viewing their reflection/grooming. I read Dracula by Brahm Stoker last year and it had some spooky elements. It seemed to be more of a comment on the life of women at that time and virtue vs. worldliness. Best vampire? Spike.

hands down best vampire.

Werewolves - Ridonculous.

Intruders - Intruders are way scary. Even scarier than ghosts. Because intruders are real and they are breaking the rules. Anything goes with intruders. They are living by their own rules. Your best option is to fake dead if an intruder comes into your house. In fact, that's your only option. Unless you have a panic room, in which case, you're my hero.

Mothmen - Yeah, kinda scary. Not going to lie. I watched this movie by myself when it first came out on video because I got it mixed up with the movie "Dragonfly" which someone had recommended to me. I totally got my insects mixed up. It was a scary evening. How does the Mothman know you're holding chapstick!? And why does he/it say "chapstick" in such a scary way!?

Chapstick - scary when the Mothman says it.

Frankenstein - Only scary when know-it-all Facebook friends say, "it's not Frankenstein, it's Frankenstein's monster. Gosh!"

Boogedy from the Disney Boogedy movies - the only scary thing about this is that those movies aren't for sale on DVD because they're the best movies EVER (ish).

I guess I can't think of any more scary things. What am I forgetting? And which of these things do you find the scariest?


Savd said...

I'm a total wuss about all things minutely scary, but this post was incredibly enjoyable! Bring out more of your amazing nuggets from your saved drafts!! :)

Kristen McGraw said...

Spike's first appearance on Buffy. It is Halloween and everyone has become their costume. Spike says, "Well, this is neat" It still makes me laugh.

violet50 said...

Spike was THE best. I'm glad I did see Dragonfly instead of Mothman. I've always found chapstick scary. As for other things scary: basements, grubs, and raccoons looking in your upstairs bedroom window - that's not where raccoons are supposed to be.

elliespen said...

I agree with you on aliens in general with the big glaring exception of the Alien in the Aliens movies because that thing is still terrifying no matter what.

H said...

For me, the scariest are not creatures per se, but stories. Events. Settings. For example, this very short story:

I begin tucking him into bed and he tells me, "Daddy check for monsters under my bed." I look underneath for his amusement and see him, another him, under the bed, staring back at me quivering and whispering, "Daddy there's somebody on my bed."

Anyways, loved your blog :) Wish I were as tenacious a blogger as you are. Cheers.

Katherine said...

I love this list and agree that you should pull out more of your old drafts. So good! I'd agree with your scary/not scary assessment (especially about Spike...:D) And the X-Files is the only show that ever made aliens seem scary. Otherwise, ridiculous.

Christi said...

I did some research (5 second google search, so pretty exhaustive) and I think a ghoul is like a zombie, but without a body.