I recently found out that my health insurance premiums are going up this year. The changes are manageable, but at this rate I can only imagine what my rates will be next year. So I've decided that I have one option: marry rich within the next year. And by rich I mean someone with really good health insurance. It's not as shallow as it sounds, I mean, he'd get something out of it too, I'm sure. What, you ask? Well, first of all, thanks a lot. But I'll answer anyway (in a bit).My friend Kathy and I were thinking that instead of going about the traditional route of meeting someone and falling in love (takes too long), I'd have a reality show of some sort (Japanese game show style) called "Healthy Heart." To get some contestants for the show, Kathy posted a craigslist posting for it (I would highly recommend clicking on this link - Kathy is very funny).
It's already gotten several responses. One guy asked if I want to get together for Jenga and wine. One woman introduced herself as looking for love (I don't think she actually read the posting), and another guy said he makes in the high six figures and has the best health insurance around. He added that he does all the household chores and gives amazing back rubs. (I'm not making this up!)
I think it's obvious who our front runner is.
The things we do for health insurance. I mean love. Ok, we all know I mean health insurance. But you know, love is still important of course and it could happen over time. Stop judging me.
19 comments:
Update- Here's a few more responses you've received. You'll definitely have enough men for this reality show.
"good luck with your cats"
"that's just too funny. i like your sense of humor but dream on"
"Lets get you on my work insurance and live the dream!"
"Good luck with your cats"
I love it! I also love how many guys were willing to prove they had good health insurance.
I like the Jenga guy. I think you should meet him.
HA! That seriously is hilarious!! I especially like the last response Kathy posted. I've often talked in the past about having a panel of sorts (made up of family and close friends) that would interview a number of candidates and pick my husband for me. Why do it yourself when you can have someone else do all of the dirty work!?
"live the dream" is my favorite.
Insurance is very important. More so when you don't have it and crack two teeth and break your glasses that you can't see without and start having heart mumers..(all things that have happended to me when i didn't have insurance) You don't appreciate it till you don't have it.
I think it's not a bad thing to want your future spouse to have it.
I say go for the guy that said lets live the dream, or we could ask Mr. Anonymous who posts on here if he has insurance?!
The funny thing is we've started getting angry responses from people who don't understand that it's a joke. I am grateful that I do have health insurance, and I really shouldn't complain about the expense. The whole thing is in good fun. :)
Ha ha ha! SO funny. Holy cow. "let's get you on my work insurance and live the dream!" That is awesome=) I laughed and laughed.
Remember the movie with Skeet and Felicity? Arranged marriages can work! :)
HILARIOUS!!! I absolutely LOVE this! Jenga & wine...now that would make a nerve-wracking game end fast! You should seriously set a time and place of having this game show - can the hosts be really Japanese? I can find interpreters!
A selection of some great/hilarious responses we've received (the post has been flagged and removed a couple times):
1.
Your "companionship"?! With all those reasonable demands:
1. You'd better have supermodel good looks (which you don't, otherwise you would have attached a pic to the ad)
2.You'd better have Einstein-like intelligence (which you don't, otherwise you wouldn't be
"underpaid" and you'd be able to shout out the Jeopardy! answers first),
3.Your companionship would be found preferable to any number of readily available (and significantly less expensive) diversions (e.g., TV, video games, poker night, hobbies).
What collateral do you possibly have to balance such unreasonable demands. I have almost two decades of sacrifice, hard work, and dedication that put me where I am (Ph.D., deep 6 figures, excellent health, certainly not living in Detroit anymore). Your gaul is almost cartoonish.
2.
"I loved the first ad, and laughed my butt off at it. However, I got sidetracked with scratching myself and forgot to respond. If you convert my money into pesos, I am a millionaire does that not make you swoon. I hate jeopardy, so we should switch it to wheel of fortune. I oh so love shouting I would like to buy a vowel!!! "
3.
"I didn't flag, I read it & laughed. Thought you had put some thought into it.""i had a feeling you would get flagged, probably got quite a few nasty emails as well.
I took it as a joke, responded in kind, but I guess it didn't make the cut, but just wanted you to
know it is too bad people can't just let things slide.
I, for one, thought it was funny...
Good luck,
Steve"
4.
DEFINITELY MY KIND OF WOMAN !! I MAKE SIX FIGURES. SQUARES, CIRCLES, ETC. MY GROSS INCOME IS
EVERYTHING ON YOUR LIST. WE REALLY NEED TO GET TOGETHER.
I liked this reply that was posted in the same listing after ours:
"healthy...huh? that's the flakiest ad i've ever seen."
Sounds like there's another woman getting a little jealous of you and reacting with slander. I say we recruit her for some drama on the show. :)-
I am torn. I have insurance and the premium is very low and in a moment of joyous delight I almost sent a reply to the ad. Then I realized that I am under the 6 figure mark which I might need to accommodate for the premium charge for family coverage then sadness set in again. I was looking forward to Jeopardy.
Anonymous, tell me about the moobs situation. I bet we can work something out. ;) (kidding!)
moobs might be an obstacle but then again my superb insurance coverage might covered the removal; my pectorals will be so chiseled they might be GQ magazine worthy. Then again all the extras I carry are part of the charm. Plus in the end all we take with us is intelligence.
My favorite part of the craig's list post is the canned fine print at the bottom: "it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests". Oh, the possibilities...
That first guy is awesome! So well thought out for someone perusing Craigslist for girls! Who knew the standard was so high. lol. Looks like the six figures has an adverse effect on some people!
Seriously Elizabeth! Find out who Mr. Anonymous is! If he is single, you have to to give each other a chance. How about a secret rendezvous at the Carlilion tower in Ann Arbor or a the top of the water tower in front of EMU at a designated time?!
Mr. Anonymous - when can you be in town (A2 / Ypsi) for a rendezvous with a classy chica named Elizabeth? She has more to offer than insurance coverage!
Elisabeth
I have to say I like you Mrs. McGregor for your supportive cheers . I was thinking about a rendezvous at the top of the Empire State building. I have to say that the idea of a date with this classy chica makes me smile…
Anonymity definitely allows me to share things otherwise would remain hidden -
to Elizabeth from a far away admirer.
Mr. Anonymous,
Thanks for the props.
I love a good mystery!
Is the Empire State Building a more convenient location for you to meet?
Sometimes anonymity and distance can provide a very protective front to do the things people wouldn't do otherwise due to whatever circumstance. Keep it up buddy! I'll root ya on as long as I keep appreciating your comments.
Elisabeth
Jenga and wine! That's how I love to spend my Friday nights. Minus the wine, and minus the jenga.
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