Mad Pooper

On Easter Sunday, while spending time with my family, I discovered something shocking: not everyone in my family had heard about the Ypsi pooper! That made me wonder if you guys have heard about it. And I'm assuming that since a lot of you live in other states, you haven't! I can't let this go on!

So here's the poop - I mean scoop: there's a pooper on the loose in Ypsilanti (a neighboring town) and it's big news. Well, maybe not big news, but funny news. To me. Not to the people dealing with the poo. But to the rest of us? Hilarious.

This winter, people living near a park in Ypsilanti (Ypsi), Michigan, noticed that someone was pooping on the park slides. They'd clean it off, and the pooper would return again to leave his (skid) mark.

(I was going to say his or her, but we all assume the pooper is a man, right? Correct me if I'm wrong.)

Here is an excerpt from an email that was sent to Ypsilanti police last month:

“We have a problem in Prospect Park with a miscreant that does not understand the difference between a children’s playground slide and a toilet. Apparently this extremely misguided individual feels the need to defecate on the slide despite the cold weather. This has been an ongoing problem at this location. Please make frequent checks in the area and record them on your daily log.”

 (Insert immature giggles here.)

A hidden camera installed to catch the "poopetrator" hasn't succeeded yet so someone put up this billboard on one of the most traveled stretches of highway in Ypsi:

This was on the actual news. The actual news.

Other slogans:

Doody.

Some people are upset about the billboard. Ypsi has a lot of problems with crime and many citizens feel like this isn't helping their reputation at all. The city manager is especially displeased and said that they were "closing in" on the pooper and that the billboard wasn't necessary (it has been taken down).

The #ypsipooper (the hashtag used to "flush" him out) has been called many names. I usually refer to him as the "mad pooper" from the Bob's Burgers episode in which Tina flushes out a public pooper. Here are some of the names I've seen him called in articles I've read, along with the name I like the best:

The weird thing to me, well, one of the weird things to me is that the pooper was going outside this winter. The coldest winter ever! I'm assuming they didn't have access to an indoor toilet? And why a slide? Does the incline of the slide help in the #2 process for them? I have so many questions! (Most of which I don't actually want answers to. Ever.)

I really hope none of you are eating right now.

Anyway, I feel like I have now done my blogging doody by informing you all about the Mad Pooper. If you have any information on him (or her?) please report it.

Doody.