Would you rather

Take a truth serum and spend an hour answering questions from a panel of random people in your life (chosen from among your family, your coworkers, your ex boyfriends/girlfriends, people you know from church, people who don't really like you all that much... You have no say who's on the panel.)

or

Let those same people see you naked. (No streaking.)

Things to consider:

That thing you did
That one time
That thing you're afraid of
Your real weight
Your real age
That guy you like
That weird growth
That show you like
That non-funny embarrassing moment
What you look like naked
Who might be present

Which do you choose, and why?

Would You Rather

give up:

TV for one year,

or

your cell phone for one year?

Things to consider:

For the tv:
You can't watch tv shows on the internet either.
You can't watch youtube (or other) clips from shows you like (or don't like).
You can't watch movies on your tv.
You can watch movies in the theater.

For the cellphone:
You can use a land line.
If you need to use a cellphone for work, you may use it for work purposes only.

Which do you choose, and why?

Wednesday Thoughts

A friend of mine has a weird phone - he claims it's my phone that's the problem but that's not true. It's his. Anyway, the thing about his phone is that whenever I talk to him, I hear an echo of my own voice. Which I hate. And which completely distracts me. Finally last week I said, "Honestly, how can you stand listening to my voice!? It's awful!" His response? "I wonder that myself sometimes."

Insults aside, why do we all hate the sounds of our voices so much? Does anyone out there like their voice?

Ok, in other Wednesday Thoughts, I'm thinking about adding a new feature to the blog! Here are some options I am considering. Help me decide?

1. Would you rather? My sister, Katherine, told me she misses "would you rather" so I'm considering bringing it back for awhile.

2. Elizabeth of Yesteryear. I really didn't know how to do my hair in high school. Any of you who have seen my senior picture know that's true. In my defense, it was the 90's, which was half of the problem. My only problem with this feature is that I'm not sure my self esteem will be able to handle the inevitable mocking. At the same time, it could be hilarious. Peg legged jeans and all.

3. I randomly choose a blog reader and tell them why they're not married.

4. Book reviews - this is exactly what you would think. Don't make me do this.

So what do you think?

In other thoughts, I'm going to start adding pages to the top of the blog - as you can see, "employment" is the first one to make the list on the upper left. I'm jealous of all the websites that have "employment" buttons so thought I'd become legit by adding one. Feel free to apply!

And lastly, I removed the "featured comments" section because a few of  you told me it stressed you out. So now that there's no pressure to be witty, I expect to see comments from those of you who complained. :)

Happy Wednesday!

Would You Rather

I know you're all busy elfing yourselves (a.k.a. making elf videos), but it's time to take a short break and answer this:

Would you rather:

 Be part of a flash mob (dancing or singing),

Things to consider:

No one ever saw it coming.

• It could be really embarrassing
• You might have to do the robot dance
• You could have to sing a solo
• You'd for sure be on youtube
• People would be taking videos of you with their phones
• It could be awesome (check out this link if you want to see a funny flash mob scene from Modern Family)

OR

Be a street performer for an afternoon? You could choose from: singing, playing guitar, spray painting yourself and standing like a statue, or being a mime.

Things to consider:



No way is this good for the pores.

• It could get cold. Or hot, depending on the season.
• You might see someone you know. (Oh yeah, did I mention you'd have to do it in the town where you live?)
• If you choose to be a statue, kids or crazies might poke you to prove you're not really a statue
• You might make a little extra money if you put out a tip jar
• Your tip jar might get stolen
• You could be on youtube depending on how good or bad you are.

 Which do you choose, and why?

Would you rather?

Sleep for 8-9 hours a night in an incredibly comfortable bed - for a month - while still keeping up with all your responsibilities,

or

sleep five hours a night (with no naps), for the entire month, BUT have a housekeeper who will cook your dinner, do your laundry, and wash your dishes during that month?

Which do you choose, and why?

Would you rather?

spend the night (by yourself) in a haunted crypt,


Blurry effects caused by ghostly presence

or

spend the night in an open coffin at the bottom of an open grave?

Check in by 10:00pm, check out at sunrise.

Things to consider:

• Ghosts (at both)
• Goosebumps (at both)
• Heebie jeebies (at both)
• Permanent psychological damage (at both)
• Bumps in the night (at both)
• Reputation for being tough (from both)

Which do you choose, and why?

Would you rather?

Be invisible (you can turn it on and off)

or

Be able to fly?

Things to consider:

Flight: It's flight. What more can be said? Well, I'll say a bit more:

• Easier commutes.
• Women will think you're Superman (if you're a man).
• That cape you wear will finally make sense.
• You can get Frisbees off the roof.
• Point out to men when they are balding. They love being informed of this.

Invisibility: This super power strikes me as being slightly more sinister, but it could be used for good, right? Here are some ways:

• It would be awesome to go running while being invisible. I hate being seen when I'm huffing and puffing. 
• Invisible bike riding would be pretty good too. On more than one level.
• There are sooo many ways you could embarrass people.
• Spying. It seems like that's why most people want to be invisible, right?

Which do you choose, and why?

Would You Rather?

Give up cheese for a year, or give up chocolate for a year?

Things to consider:  



Delicious Cheesy bread...



Molten lava cake...



Pizza....



Whatever this is....



Which do choose and why? If you are allergic to one of these things, pretend you aren't for the sake of the question.



Would You Rather?

Speak with an English accent for one week...

Rules:

• You can't just say "gov'ner" the whole week, or other things Americans think English people say. "Cheerio" is also forbidden. 
• You have to live your normal life during this week. Work, school, social gatherings... No taking the week off to avoid contact with people.
• If you are an English person, you have to speak with an American accent. And you can't just say "wuzzup" the whole week, or whatever you think we say.
• You can't tell anyone why you're doing it.

or

Cut your hair (or grow it) into a mullet, which you will keep for a week.

Rules:

• It has to be an obvious mullet.
• It can't be a wig. (Unless you're bald.)
• "Business in the front, party in the back" should be your motto.
• Once again, you can't tell anyone why you're doing it. 

Examples: 

  



The she-mullet

The Uncle Jesse



Which do you choose, and why?

Would You Rather?

This could be you.

Would you rather:
Live in a space station (yes, in outer space) for 10 weeks with a space crew (not of your choosing), with limited communication with earth...

Things to consider:

• Going to the bathroom would be a whole new experience. I recently heard that because there's no gravity, astronauts have to sit on a toilet with suction to help the process. Just something to think about.
• All the astronaut ice cream you can eat.
• I once heard an astronaut say he felt so disconnected in space, he wanted to hang himself but couldn't because of well, you know, gravity. But he was in space for longer than ten weeks, so don't worry, you'll be fine.
• This website (link) was full of useful tips to consider.
• You might get probed.
• Bonus: earth looks cool from outer space.

 or

Live in a submarine deep in the sea for 10 weeks (once again with a crew not of your choosing) with limited communication with the outside world.



Your experience would be nothing like this picture.

Things to consider:

• The claustrophobia, my gosh, the claustrophobia!
• You could write a dramatic screenplay about your experience under the sea, inspired by the call of the dolphins.
• Just knowing you're that close to sharks gives me the heebie jeebies.
• But then again, maybe you could develop a whimsical pseudo-friendship with an octopus you occasionally see swim by. It'll be all in your head, but I'm not here to judge.|
• Here's a humorous website with helpful tips to prepare for this mission.
• Bonus: you're on earth.

 Which do you choose, and why?

Would You Rather?

Did you guys see that 30 Rock tried to beat me to it with an episode full of "would you rather" questions last night? I had no idea the writers of that show read my blog! (That's the only logical explanation.) Hopefully their questions just warmed you up and got you ready for my first question in the Would You Rather series! So without further ado,

Would you rather:

Live as an Amish person in a conservative Old Order ordnung for 3 months, with the following rules:

• No internet
• No cell phones
• No electricity at all.
• If you are a man, you will work outside laboring from dawn to dusk.
• If you are a woman, you will spend your days cooking, baking, cleaning, and quilting.
• You can not get shunned in this time. You have to follow the rules.

OR

Spend the summer touring with singers from the 80's and 90's who are trying to revive their careers (Sinead O'Conner, Ricky Astley, Tori Amos, Terence Trent D'Arby). You will:

• Sing backup
• Do choreographed dances (and some interpretive dance)
• Do stand up comedy before the show to get the audience pumped
• Travel nonstop for three months
• Promote the tour by running a non-ironic tour website.

Which do you choose and why?