Snow snow snow snow snow snow snow - those are my thoughts today. Wait no, I forgot to add SLUSH. Such wet, heavy snow. Last night I kept hearing sirens and seeing crazy lights as wires fell down. The tree branches are weighted down by the icy snow, and they cannot handle it. The roads are full of downed branches. Here are some pictures.
1. That Radiohead CD you've been listening to in your car? Stop. For real, just stop. Do not listen to "Lucky," no matter how much you like that song. It will not make you feel better about life. Take the CD out and throw it into the backseat. Listen to it again in the summer when life feels good and hopeful again.
2. Craving chocolate? Eat it. You can diet in the spring. I mean, don't go overboard with this but don't fight that craving either. Just eat the chocolate. I don't even care.
3. Any time you can hold a baby or a puppy, do it. Don't kidnap or dog-nap one, but if you have permission to hold one of these, hold it. You'll feel that winter anger slip away.
4. If you don't want to go outside, don't. It might just make you more angry to be out there. I mean, if you have to go to work or something, I'm sorry but you will have to go outside. But if you don't absolutely have to go out, just stay in and stay warm. Drink some hot chocolate. Watch some Netflix. Write me a text thanking me for this advice. Maybe even invite me over. If I can face the outdoors, I'll come. But don't count on it.
5. If winter is making you feel extra lonely, don't watch any tv or movies with love themes. I forbid it!!!
6. Read mysteries. They're perfect for winter. Pure escapism.
7. Movies to NOT watch: Little Women, My Girl, Marley and Me, or anything else that will not only make you cry, but make you cry all day (or longer).
8. Exercise if you want to. Hang up your bathing suit somewhere where you can see it for motivation. You'll either feel motivated to work out when you see it, or you'll learn to ignore it and not care one way or the other. Exercise will probably help your mood though.
9. If you're just really fed up with the snow, go outside and kick it. Hard. And a lot. Stomp on it too. Shake your fist at it. Give it the stink eye. Shout at it, "you're going to be sorry!!!" Then walk back inside with a big smile on your face.
10. Watch every single Harlem Shake video on Youtube. Wonder what is wrong with the world. Plan and execute your own Harlem Shake video. Become a short-term internet sensation. Get to meet the kids from Charlie Bit My Finger. By the time you're done with that, it will be April and the long winter will be over.
These rules are mostly just for myself, and I can't guarantee their effectiveness in your life. But for me, these work. For the most part. The only thing that could really and truly work would be no winter at all.
I got lots of canine lovin'. I'm staying with Daisy now and she is such a sweetie. I also visited my aunt and uncle's dog, Scooter. SUCH a cutie!!
Besides those things, I watched the Oscars, spent a little time with friends and family, and read. I'm reading The Shining because I've never read any Stephen King, and I've always heard it was really good and scary. I'm about a third of the way through and so far I'm not too scared. Except that last night as I was laying in bed reading, I noticed a light on the other side of the room - where was it coming from? Without getting out of bed I tried to find the source and realized the light was on in a closet I had forgotten about. How did the light get turned on?? Who turned it on? If I had to place any bets, I'd say The Shining turned it on but there's really no way of knowing. So I just turned it off and went back to bed. No ghosts got me in the night (that I know of).
It was a good, relaxing weekend, ghosts aside. What's the scariest book you've ever read?
If you've been reading this blog for awhile, you know that I like tv. I know this is something I'm supposed to be embarrassed about. I'm supposed to be "too busy" for tv or "prefer books." But I am a big fan of the tv. I try to balance it out. I read a lot too, and I listen to public radio which earns me some tv time.
Here's how the conversion works out, in case you were wondering.
Now that we've gotten that out of the way, we can talk about tv. More specifically, tv shows you aren't watching but that I think you should be watching! It has come to my attention that a lot of you aren't watching three of my favorite shows. Namely:
Bob's Burgers is one of the funniest tv shows on right now. It's about a family-run restaurant on the east coast. The voices of the characters are hilarious. Two of the female voices are done by men. And the writing is just so funny. Here are a couple lines from the show:
Louise: I've been honest with these two ever since Gene got too fat.
Gene: I remember the ice-cream sandwich that did it too. I regret nothing!
Linda: I dreamed that I was breast feeding Gene again, but he had a long, white beard, like Santa Claus. It was really freaky.
Gene: That should be our next Christmas card.
Look, I get it. This show looks boring. And a friend of mine once said "the characters aren't easy to look at." First of all, I think that friend is wrong. The characters are nice looking. Just not "Hollywood/extensions/steroids/unrealistic" good looking. The show is about a family in the midwest just getting by. They live in an ugly house, and are always broke.
It's the kids that really make this show good. Especially Sue - the super nerdy, super optimistic middle child. She tries out for everything - rarely makes any teams, but never stops trying. And the youngest boy, Brick, who has some form of autism is awesome too. He is quirky and it's hardly even acknowledged. He just does his thing (he often whisper-repeats words or randomly says "whoop!" and the family just goes on with their business). I could go on and on but I'm telling you - this show is really funny. And it's made me cry like three times this season alone - in a good way. Just watch it.
Ben and Kate
You guys already messed this up. It's been canceled. Grrrrrr! It was really funny! Anyway, you can still watch it on Hulu or On Demand and there might be a few more episodes this season. And you can join my letter writing campaign to un-cancel it. Kidding. I mean, unless you want to. Ugh - I can't talk about this show anymore - it's making me too sad. Here are some quotes from it so you can see what you missed out on: “It’s a tough world to break into, especially if you’re an unknown, not unlike the cliquey world of meteorology.”
“I was a night watchman at a doll factory, Kate. Nothing scares me.”
“My niece just cut her forehead and they may have to amputate. So let’s touch base if and when she pulls through.”
“Ben, she’s worried about you. You’re an adorable bichon frise in a
world of bloodthirsty street dogs, and she doesn’t want to see you get
eaten. Or forcibly mounted.”
Anyway, enough about me. What are some shows you watch that you wish more people would watch?
As I mentioned on here before, the girls in my church ages 12-16 go to camp for a week every summer and this year I've been asked to be in charge of helping plan it. But before we go to camp, we have to have a fundraiser to help pay for it. Over the weekend, I had a meeting with some of the other leaders to talk about the fundraiser. We talked about asking my uncle, who does Elvis impersonating, to be our auctioneer. After the meeting, I asked him if he would do it and he said he would. He even changed the words of a popular Elvis song to be about the fundraiser. It's going to be great.
Last night I handed out the tickets to the girls so they can sell them and pass them out. On the tickets, I wrote, "Featuring a celebrity auctioneer!" The girls hadn't heard about this yet. When one of the leaders saw the tickets, she said excitedly, "he said yes!?!?!" Not knowing what we were talking about, one of the girls said excitedly to me, "you're getting married!?!?!?!?!?!?" I said, "no! I wouldn't propose!!" Another girl said, "Some girls do!!"
First of all, do they? I mean, besides Monica Geller. Just curious.
This weekend was pretty fun. Busy, but a nice balance. Here are some things that happened this weekend.
1. I visited my grandma. She has a bird cage in her lobby now, so both before and after our visit, we looked at the birds for awhile. I somehow became mesmerized with them. I'll be honest, I'm just not that into birds typically. Sometimes they're pleasant or make pretty songs, but I would never want to touch one. I feel like they're teeming with disease. All of them. But somehow, these birds charmed me. To the point where I even took a picture of one. I mean, why!? Would I ever look at it again? But it wasn't a waste because here it is. Yes, I'm posting a picture of a bird. I don't even know myself anymore.
Anyway, my visit with my grandma was great. She doesn't understand how all men who know me aren't in love with me. I'm grateful I have someone like that in my life. Everyone needs a cheerleader.
2. I took my niece on an aunt date. Because my aunt dates are one-on-one (for ultimate bonding), my sister, Katherine, took the other two kids out to the art museum while Samantha and I went skating (see previous post for video). Then we all met up for lunch. I asked my nephew how he liked the art museum and he said, "It was good. we saw a Monet with a silent 'T.'" During lunch, I entertained the kids with "would you rather" questions. I wish I had a video of that because my 6-year old nephew was dying laughing. Here are some sample questions:
Would you rather have big fish coming out of your ears all day, or minnows coming out of your nose all day?
Would you rather have your head and butt switch places, or your arms coming out of your head?
Would you rather sleep in a bed with a snake, or put a raccoon's paw in your mouth?
Would you rather go bald, or grow a beard (funnier if you're a 6 year old boy or a little girl)?
Here are a few pictures from ice skating and one from lunch:
3. Also this weekend, I made a polkadot cake. Check this out and be amazed (yes, of course I stole the idea from Pinterest):
4. And I went to a going away party for a really good friend who's moving. Sad!
5. I spent quite a bit of time making handouts for the girls going to camp this summer:
6. And I met the newest addition to our family, an adorable puppy named Scooter, who my aunt and uncle adopted. He is a total heart melter. Only 12 weeks old!
All in all, it was a wonderful weekend. How about you?
I took my youngest niece on a aunt date yesterday! You might remember her from her dancing video on here (link). For her aunt date, she had her mind set on ice skating, something she had never done before! I was a little nervous, since I've never taught a kid to ice skate before, but she did great. Sometimes she used the brace (as seen above), and sometimes she just held my hand and skated. Sometimes I put my arms under hers and raced her around the rink. She had the biggest smile on her face the whole time. She loved it! It was like watching a baby deer learn how to walk!
Happy Valentine's Day! I made some special Valentine cards for you. I wasn't sure which women to choose for the cards, since I don't know who/what men like, but I did my best to choose the women I assume men like.
To start, I wanted to share a snippet of a conversation I had with my retirement company the other day:
Her: What is the name of your company?
Me: (I tell her.)
Her: ...... That... sounds horrible.
Me: ...Yeah. (Thinking: so does the name of your company.)
In other thoughts, in an effort to find healthy snacks to snack on at work, I bought a box of these Special K "brownie bites."
Unfortunately, when I opened them, this is what I found (they are on a regular sized tissue here to show how few were in the bag):
But that's not the worst part. This is what they look like up close. Mini soggy rye toast?
I'll tell you what - after one of these bags I was FU-ULL! Couldn't eat another bite! And yuuuummmy. A tiny bite of a vaguely chocolate tasting soft chew! It's almost exactly like eating a real bite of brownie! (I hope you can sense my sarcasm.)
I mean, I get it. It's a healthy snack. It's not meant to be the same as eating an actual brownie. But maybe try a little harder, Special K? I rate these zero brownies out of ten. Gross.
Lastly in other Wednesday Thoughts, how do you guys feel about Valentine's Day? Yay or nay?
Lots has been going in my life lately- time with friends and family, making new recipes, and trying to enjoy life despite winter. Here are a few things that have been going on in the last week or so:
My niece and I had an "aunt date." We did her hair, baked cookies, played Uno, and visited my grandma - her great-grandma! Here is a picture of the two of them together:
I made this amazing chocolate chip cheesecake cookie bars from the website: www.melskitchencafe.com. (Sooo many good recipes on that website!)
It's been snowy and wintery - nothing like "Nemo" of course. You Nemo survivors have bragging rights for awhile. Can I just say that Nemo is about the dumbest name ever for a winter storm? We ALL KNOW that Nemo is a cute clownfish who got separated from his father, who then went on an adventure with Dory (Ellen) to find him. A more appropriate name for this storm would be something like Hugo, or Bronco. Or maybe Sauron or Voldemorte. Or Tim.
Here is a picture of the Detroit temple, where I went yesterday with my sister and parents. Look at that sky - blue and cloudless. A very very rare site!
I watched the movie Penelope, thanks to my sister Katherine, who introduced me to it. Such a wonderful and charming movie. I would highly recommend it.
Having spent my childhood in the 80's, it's basically a travesty that I had never seen the Goonies until a few days ago. My friend Adam made it one of his life goals to make sure I saw it when he heard this information. So we got together the other night and knocked that goal off his bucket list (ok - maybe it wasn't really that important to him, but kind of).
He was worried that I wouldn't think it was funny since it's better enjoyed as a child. In fact, many people told me that. People doubted I would like it or get it as an adult. What these people failed to recognize is that I laugh whenever anyone says either "poop" or "fart." So, I don't think I've aged out of the group of people who would enjoy a movie targeted at a younger age group.
To be completely honest, I laughed hysterically all the way through it. The scene where the kid on the toilet shoots up to the ceiling? Best scene in cinematic history? Probably not, but pretty dang close.
The rest of this post is going to contain 100% spoilers, so if you don't want a 30 year old movie ruined for you, do not read on!
Here are some of my nominees for best of in the Goonies:
I'd give the movie 10 Goonies out of 10. What are your favorite parts of the movie? Who's your favorite character?
I live in Michigan. I'm a tiny bit older than you thought (fair warning: it's best not to ask). To spare my friends and family from listening to my every thought, I created a blog. It's sort of like a pensieve, only slightly less dramatic than Dumbledore's.
Rose: Last year the Woman of the Year in St. Olaf saved all the books from the library fire! She grabbed two books in one and and one in the other." Dorothy: Your library only has three books? What happens when someone reads them all? Rose: I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. - The Golden Girls
"A penny!? Worthless! It's the garbage of money!" - Barry, The Goldbergs
Danny: You wanna live in a ninth floor walk-up!? What happens if there's a fire? Mindy: Danny, you know my plan in an emergency is just to count to ten and wait for death's embrace! - The Mindy Project Chris: Leslie, I'm sorry. Anne didn't just go to Ann Arbor to visit her family. She went to sign a lease on our new home. Leslie: Ann Arbor sounds disgusting! Chris: She already has family there, and I have a new job lined up at the University of Michigan. Go Blue! It's a good town, and it's a great place to raise a family. Leslie: What is so great about it!? There's no JJ's Diner there, there's no Welcome to Pawnee sign! I mean, the stupid state is split up into two pieces! It's ridiculous! - Parks and Rec Tom: "Now, I know high-end, internet only magazine isn't really your scene, so Donna and I wrote up some cocktail banter and some conversation snippets for you to practice so you can fit in." Ron: (Reading) "Annabel, could I be more jelz of your low-lights right now, I mean O.M. squee, talk about bangs envy." Donna: "Oof, you got a long way to go, Swanson. Let's go again, from the top." Ron: "I regret everything." - Parks and Rec
"Hello, young man, do you carry Fat Steps Cankle Wranglers? They're for the problematic foot." - Mindy, The Mindy Project
"No one tells you how hard it is to be a parent!" - Frankie "That's because if they did, no one would do it. It's called punishing-it forward." - Mike - The Middle
"He gave us his magic and then he disappeared. Just like Toad the Wet Sprocket." - Gene, Bob's Burgers
"Listen to me. NOBODY on the computer is having as good of a time as you think they are." - Mike, The Middle
"It took me all day, but I got the ten signatures I needed! I'm running for student body president!" - George Michael, Arrested Development
"Life is precious. And if I die, I want my... son... to know the dealio. The dealio of life." - Michael Scott, The Office
"Somebody threw a snow-cone at my windshield today. I thought I hit a rainbow. It was terrifying." - Teddy, Bob's Burgers
"Stop calling me the Prince of Darkness. That's how rumors get started." - Monk
"I'm giving you an all tomato, meaning you give me the whole tomato or else." - Troy, Community Tracy, talking about Weird Al: Don't you understand? He's going to parady you again! That's what he does! That's all he does! You can't stop him! Jenna: Unless I write a song that can't be parodied. Tracy: Impossible. What do think Phil Collins was trying to do with Sussudio!? -30 Rock
"20 year old girls! They think I'm awesome! Look at them! They don't know what Saved By the Bell is and they've never felt pain!!" - Nick, New Girl
"Due to my campaign, the romantic aspect of our relationship is over, and I am totally fine with that. But Ben and I have so much in common! I mean, we're amazing friends! And friendship is better because friends help you move, they drive you to the airport! Boyfriends just.... love you and marry you." - Leslie, Parks and Rec
Claire: You know that really dangerous intersection? Phil: Where desire meets jealousy and the result is murder? Claire: Uhuh. The one where I almost killed you this morning. Phil: Oh yeah, that was my bad. I got lost in my jams! Dangerous combo: speed walking and Speedwagon. Oh! I wasn't even trying for that! - Modern Family
Tobias: As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch. Michael: Really. When did that start? Tobias: Well, I don't want to blame it on 911, but it certainly didn't help. -Arrested Development
"I don't want to talk about it Ken! You'll hear all I have to say about Jack Donaghy in my tell-all book, 'Betrayal, COLON, What Really Happened With My Baseball Team, COMMA, Disaster at Knuckle Beach, QUESTION MARK." - Tracy, 30 Rock
Burt: "You seem real happy to keep pining for her! You pine, pine, pine, but you don't do anything! You just sit there like a log!" Virginia: "A pine log!" Burt: "Which is the worst kind of log! Best log? Yule. Best Yule? Brenner. Best Brenner? David. Best David? That's where it starts to get complicated." - Raising Hope
"Camping sucks! It's super boring. And you can see the stars, which I hate. They're creepy." - April, Parks and Rec
"Andy!! I don't even want to be here! The air is too fresh - it's disgusting. I can't breathe. And there's a brook somewhere that won't stop babbling. SHUT UP!" -April, Parks and Rec
Shawn: "Gus, don't be the ribs that flip over Fred Flintstone's car. I know you're not completely sold on my hit man theory, but I need you to suspend your disbelief and hop onboard the streetcar named Shawnzire." Gus: "Dude, you know how that metaphor makes me uncomfortable." -Psych
"You had me at meat tornado." - Ron Swanson, Parks and Rec
"So dumb guys go for dumb girls, and smart guys go for dumb girls? What do smart girls get?" - Alex "Cats, mostly." - Phil -Modern Family
"The parade was awesome. Angela Lansbury was the grand marshall. Good times, she wrote." - Phil, Modern Family
"What?!? I don't have $30,000 laying around! I have it buried very deeply. And I don't want to have to dig past a certain someone to get it." - Dwight, The Office
"When you're a kid, I remember really loving going to bed. There was one time where I actually laughed myself to sleep, 'cause I couldn't believe me luck. - Karl Pilkington
"And so our employee of the month is the late Roger Dusset, who tragically died from complications due to union organizing." - Mr. Burns, The Simpsons
Ron: "I'm hungry." Leslie: "Ok, don't be such a baby. I cooked you some bacon for a trail snack." Ron: "I ate it already. I could smell it in your purse before I even parked my car. And now it's gone and I hate everything." - Parks and Rec
Shawn: "Lassy, where did you go? We were totally filming your speech!" Gus: "And we need you to sign a release for America's Funniest Home Videos." -Psych
"I've been with NBC for a really long time. A really long time. Remember the Cosby Show? I was Rudy." - Conan O'Brien
"A book hasn't caused me this much trouble since Where's Waldo went to that barber pole factory!" - Tracy, 30 Rock
"Can we go to Banana Republic? I have a crush on a mannequin there." - Millhouse, The Simpsons
"I just stopped by to thank you. You've been really supportive of me during my transformation to hideous man-beast." - Harvey, Sabrina the Teenage Witch
In reference to the date being 9/9/9: "I haven't heard that many nein's since I dated that German woman." - Conan O'Brien "
"Sadly, Teamocil has been discontinued. The sense of wellness it created in relationships was merely the first sign of complete pituitary shutdown." - Tobias Funke, Arrested Development
"I am single now. What we have here is the ultimate smackdown between the nard dog and crippling despair, loneliness, and depression. I intend to win." - Andy Bernard, The Office